thx for the feedback, anything positive/good about this at all? i've bought every single variety of what could be considered competition and they are all pretty boring- green leaves& vines and *healthy granola* are pretty much standard.
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Originally Posted by Adraco
It's very text heavy and the text saysthe basically the same thing over and over, how 1/4 cup serving... and no supplement... bla bla 100% natural food... bla bla All natural, raw ingredients... And isn't things like: raw and unprocess / all natural to close to stand right next after each other?
A "writers rule of thumb" I heard from one of the Nobel Price winners the other year was that everything and anything you have to write in parenthesis, is something you actually don't have to write at all. If it can't justify it's own place in the text, it simply does not deserve to be there.
Why are the ingredients not in alphabetical order?
Move the catchy end slogan up to the top. It's to scattered and text heavy on top, you must leave the morons with an impression too. Most people will grab it, look at it for 5 seconds, have time to see/read just the top text. It's them you need to catch right up at the top.
It's not giving a very orderly impression, and I argree on the "it looks funny" part. I wouldn't take this serious at all and either put it back on the shelf if it was in a store or close the browser if it was online. It's not catchy, not interesting, unorderly and just not attractive with the different rows, all centered.
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good info, thx.
ingredients are listed by quantity, it's the law.
following the research on the target groups, they read labels and want information. also, following the say it, repeat it, say it again method of selling.
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Originally Posted by Amputate Your Head
Also, I agree with what someone else said about the lower copy.... centered down the middle like that makes it a bitch to read, unless it's only a couple of lines, (which it's not). I would try experiment with some left justified layouts if possible.
Also, did you do this to spec from your printer? Is it at least 300 dpi? Are your bleeds factored? (those bleeding edges look mighty thin, especially the bottom).
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good input, thx. yes, print ready. 300 dpi, bleeds, etc, this is cropped for this display.
