Love letters. It is really funny, you should read it.

I have translated in the best way i could and i wanted to share with you because i think is funny and sometimes true what is written in those letters.
I will let you to read. If you liked feel free to leave here a message. Thanks
XX Elly Jaine.



My dear love ( to a girl):

In the previous year that passed, I had 365 de tentative to make love with you, and I succeeded 36 times, which means, as average, one time on ten days.
Here are the reasons for what I had not much success:
- 54 time because my lingerie was on laundry,
- 17 times because it was a late hour,
- 49 times because you were too tired,
- 20 times because it was too hot
- 15 times because you wanted to sleep,
- 22 times because you had a headache,
- 17 times because you were afraid not to wake up the kid,
- 16 times because you were too nervous,
- 12 times because you had the critic day one time in a month,
- 19 times because you had to wake up early
- 9 times because you said you are not in the mood to do that,
- 7 times because the sun burned your skin too much,
- 6 times because you were watching the night show on TV,
- 5 times because you didn?t wanted to broke your new hairstyle,
- 3 times because the neighbors could hear us,
- 9 times because your mother could hear us.

From this 36 succeeded times the result was not satisfying because:

- 6 times because you were laying just plain,
- 8 times because you were remembering me that are holes in the atmosphere,
- 4 times because you asked me to hurry up to finish quicker,
- 7 times because I had to wake you up and to tell you that I finished,
- 1 time because I taught I hurt you and I saw you were moving.



Dear Lover(to a boy) :

I have the feeling that you are twisting the things. Here are the reasons that you were not able or you didn?t succeeded:
- 36 times because you didn?t came home at all,
- 5 times because you came home drunk and fancy the cat,
- 21 times because your cock was dead,
- 33 times because you finished too faster,
- 19 times because it went down before to start,
- 38 times because you worked till late night,
- 10 times because you had a problem of muscular stretching,
- 29 times because you had to wake up and to go to play golf,
- 2 times because you had a fight and u received a hit in your balls,
- 4 times because your zipper got stocked on your pants,
- 3 times because you got cold and your nose was running,
- 2 times because you had a stag in your finger,
- 20 times because you forgot what you thought all day long,
- 6 times because you finished in your pajama while you were reading filthy books,
- 98 times because you didn?t had time cause you were watching your football games
And were we was together and I was laying down not moving, it was because you confused me with the sheets.


And I was not talking about the holes from the atmosphere, I was asking you how you would like it, from the back side or on my knees...
And when u felt that I moved, it happened because you started to fart and I was trying to receive some fresh air, to breath.
__________________