The funniest one happened in Thailand. I was living in a condo at the time that had a full (ceiling to floor) giant gate that secured the cave like parking area. Without a key you were not getting in, or out.
So this whore was hell bent on me taking a shower first and alone. This was a red flag to me so I was on guard again. BTW... Thai whores always want you to shower and them too before you fuck, so it wasn't that I stunk.
Anyway, so I leave the bathroom door open and I get in the shower but keep my eyes and ears open. The SECOND I put the water on my face I heard my condo door slam shut. I jumped out of the shower and ran into the room. She took ALL the clothes I was wearing out with her, which had my money and phone in my pocket.
I grabbed my bat and ran down 3 flights of stairs buck ass naked and found her inside the cave parking area trying to shake the door open. LOL Owned. She was trapped.
I asked her in Thai if she wanted me to call the police or get beaten with my bat. The choice was hers but she was getting one of them. She begged be to call the police. I told her I'd make her a deal and wouldn't call if she gave me HER phone and her ID card. The phone was payment for fucking me over, her ID card was so that she wouldn't come back and cause problems for me later. She gave me both. I then told her I wanted to fuck her and she was going to do it for free. I took her back into the stairwell and fucked her in standing doggie, bareback, shot my load in her after about 2 minutes and let her out of the cage. Never saw her again. Still have her ID to this day.
I was at the doctor a week later with green puss dripping from my dick and in serious pain. Took a shot of meds in the rear and cleared it all up but I was pissing razor blades for 2 days.
I knew the moment I passed her she would swing on me or jump on my back so I throat chopped her as HARD as I could as I walked by, hoping to crush her throat.
Dude... I fucking laughed so hard that I almost choked on my water.
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