I slept in a chair for one year...9-11 story

On sept 9 I moved out of a funished apartment into an unfunished one.
I moved all my personal stuff in the place then went to Sears with all these great plans to buy all this great funiture for my new place.

I picked out all this awesome stuff to buy and then was told that Sears does not deliver. My place was only two miles from Sears, but WTF, so is everyone else's place since this was on the island of Oahu in Hawaii.

I would have to find my own delivery company and Sears said it was against their policy to recommend one for me and give me a number to call and just get it done. So I needed to go home and call around to find a company.

I left the store then saw a guy loading some stuff in a truck from Sears and asked him if he wanted to make an easy $30 bucks by hauling something for me about 2 miles away. He said sure. I would have to wait about 40 mins for him to drop off his stuff and he would be back. So great!

I went back into the store and bought an $800 leather Lazyboy chair. It was awesome and on sale from $1195.00. I figured I would use the chair and in a day or so get a delivery company and get more stuff.

The next day I call around for a delivery company and everyone was booked up for a 2 or more weeks, so this was going to take a while.

Then I woke up on 9-11 and turned on my TV and saw the World trade center had been attacked. Then I found out that no mail was comming to Hawaii from the mainland since the planes had been grounded. The mail man said the mail would be backed up for a few weeks but it would eventually get here.

That meant I would not get any paychecks since all my sponsors were mailing checks from the mainland.


So since I had just paid rent plus deposits for a new apartment and bought some new things including an $800 chair, I decided I had better wait until I started getting checks again before I spend anymore money.

So there went my plans for the new funiture, it would be a few weeks at least before I could get back on track with that plan.

Meanwhile, I was getting used to sleeping in the lazyboy. I would just bang chicks in a hotel room since they usually had one since they were tourist.

So after a couple of months things looked normal again with checks comming in and I started thinking about the funiture again. Then I checked my websites and FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! My server had been HACKED to SHIT!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

I was loosing my ass, so I put off the funiture plans again until I could rebuild my sites on a new server and get my checks flowing normal again.

No problem, I worked that out and started to think about the funiture again.
Then I got this letter in the mail....

It was a federal income tax form.

It wasn't April yet but I thought I should get a head start and began doing my taxes. Hmmmmmmm???? Seems like I made the most money I ever made on the internet last year. Hmmmmmm? Let's see...add this line to that one....carry the one....look at the rate sheet...factor in this amount and AWWWWWWWWWW MMMMMMAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

So I wrote a big fucking check to the IRS, largest in my life, and thought I better wait until this check clears before I spend anymore money.

So the check finally cleared and I started thinking about the funiture again.
I went back to Sears and found something very interesting.
They had discontinued their fucking funiture department...there was nothing fucking left!


So the quest for a new place to buy funiture started. A word to the wise...don't open a funiture store in a place where almost all the people you see are tourist. Tourist don't buy fucking funiture. There are a lot of already wise people on the island. FUCK!!

So I spend a couple of months looking at shit funiture that was clearly removed from hotel rooms that got converted to condos. Nah, I waited this long so I'll pass. Then I hear about this futon store...great! I go there and see that the only futon thay have that would be good in my place is the exact model I had before that broke into pieces after I fucked my girlfriend on it 3 times. Nah, I waited this long so I'll pass.

Meanwhile there is plumbing problem getting fixed im my building so the plumber turns off the water to the entire building. He fixes the problem in a few hours and turns the water back on. But my water does not turn on when I try it. I go to the main office and tell the building manager and he say's "that's impossible...only the main switch was turned off and it's back on". I tell him to come to my apartment and see for himself.
He fucking ignores me and I actually see him go to the unit next to mine to move in some new people and he doesn't even come to my door!
I go to the office and pitch a bitch, then he finally comes up and sees the problem and calls the plumber and fixes the problem.

I was so fucking mad that I told him I was moving out because I didn't want to pay rent to somebody who thought I was too stupid to know how to turn on a water faucet.

I grabbed my lazyboy chair and put it and my computer in the back of a nissan truck(just happen to catch a weed dealer doing a drop off to one of my neighbors) and moved into a furnished apartment again.

While I was leaving I saw a huge green truck with Sears printed on the side pulling up next to my building. I asked them what they were doing.
The guy says "were making a delivery. Yeah, we(Sears) just started doing delivery last week".

DOUGH!!!!