Some Straight Up Advice:
1. Start putting 100% of the profits you're making today into the bank account you're going to need in the future for your legal defense fund.
2. Go buy a big file cabinet. You're going to need it to store your copies of your Federal case files.
3. Buy another file cabinet to house all your legal bills. You might actually want to buy two of these, criminal defense lawyers luv billings on Federal cases.
4. You should go buy an anal probe now and start a daily workout routine to get your rectal muscles in shape for the future late night cell parties you'll be the guest of honor at. Oh, and be sure to go for the 9" we luve white boyz dark meat model.
5. When you notice black Ford crown victorias lurking in your neighbord, judgment day is approaching.
6. The door pounding event usually comes at 6 AM and you'll recognize the guys that will be coming to turn your world upside down. They all were blue jackets with 3 big letters emblazoned on the back.
7. The free light show is pretty cool when they raid your house.
