Holy hell Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Christ on a stick!
Ok I was already sick to death of the fact that adults have hijacked this holiday away from the kids years ago. After all they were part of the "me" generation and well fuck the kids lets all be sluts and party. Kids are just little friends anyways that everyone takes care of except the parents right?
We do not want to tell them that mommy and if they are lucky daddy have better plans this evening than to do some trick or treating. Nah we rather scare this shit out of them and use fear tactics to keep them inside. Or better yet we will make our towns set predetermined times and maybe even days that are not on Halloween so we can have a reason so the kids wont hold it against you.
Then maybe we will just say screw it and commercialize it even more and take the kids trick or treating middle of the day at the local mall. Remember kids you must be in costume and with an adult when you visit each store in the mall for your free mini snickers. What harm is it anyways, the kid can close his eyes when you go into Victoria's Secret while the teenager who is working the counter is secretly dreaming of ways to destroy you while she collects your personal information on that lace thong you must have.
Who really cares that you already spent forty bucks on pumpkins you fetched with the kids, the mess you made carving them. The decorations you put up including the authentic hay bails and happy scare crow in your front yard. It shows the Halloween spirit after all even if you will not be home when and if anyone dares to knock and your rabbit poodlerasian dressed as a bumble bee dog goes ballistic and attempts to gnaw off strawberry shortcakes ankle.
Since we all know in this day and age..... fucking this day and age, like we suddenly created all of the pedos and freaks in the last decade or two. Like the fact that your child has not only a cell phone but a GPS monitoring service pinned to his batman underpants, and that you live in a socialist utopia you created behind some gated community with very strict guidelines and background checks to get in to. This fucking day and age... what day and age... It just pisses me the fuck off.
Fuck I got to go. I just got an wireless instant message. Apparently I need to bring some peanut and sugar free organic treats out to the end of my drive way to an awaiting SUV.
Ok I was already sick to death of the fact that adults have hijacked this holiday away from the kids years ago. After all they were part of the "me" generation and well fuck the kids lets all be sluts and party. Kids are just little friends anyways that everyone takes care of except the parents right?
We do not want to tell them that mommy and if they are lucky daddy have better plans this evening than to do some trick or treating. Nah we rather scare this shit out of them and use fear tactics to keep them inside. Or better yet we will make our towns set predetermined times and maybe even days that are not on Halloween so we can have a reason so the kids wont hold it against you.
Then maybe we will just say screw it and commercialize it even more and take the kids trick or treating middle of the day at the local mall. Remember kids you must be in costume and with an adult when you visit each store in the mall for your free mini snickers. What harm is it anyways, the kid can close his eyes when you go into Victoria's Secret while the teenager who is working the counter is secretly dreaming of ways to destroy you while she collects your personal information on that lace thong you must have.
Who really cares that you already spent forty bucks on pumpkins you fetched with the kids, the mess you made carving them. The decorations you put up including the authentic hay bails and happy scare crow in your front yard. It shows the Halloween spirit after all even if you will not be home when and if anyone dares to knock and your rabbit poodlerasian dressed as a bumble bee dog goes ballistic and attempts to gnaw off strawberry shortcakes ankle.
Since we all know in this day and age..... fucking this day and age, like we suddenly created all of the pedos and freaks in the last decade or two. Like the fact that your child has not only a cell phone but a GPS monitoring service pinned to his batman underpants, and that you live in a socialist utopia you created behind some gated community with very strict guidelines and background checks to get in to. This fucking day and age... what day and age... It just pisses me the fuck off.
Fuck I got to go. I just got an wireless instant message. Apparently I need to bring some peanut and sugar free organic treats out to the end of my drive way to an awaiting SUV.
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