If Christianity was a program, how would it convert?

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  • Machete_
    WINNING!
    • Oct 2002
    • 14579

    #1

    If Christianity was a program, how would it convert?

    I would charge-back as soon as I had seen the member section for sure, but how well do you think it converts? How many charge-backs? how well does it do with the different traffic sources?

    What converts best? TV ads or knocking on doors?
    Is it the Personal relations, the product, the design or the long-term benefits that makes it convert?

    Tell you what I think would have worked better for the church. If they had promised people who followed their rules they would help making the world a better place, instead of telling them that they would go to a place in the sky filled with small angels floating on clouds AFTER they died - they MIGHT had been able to sell more memberships.

    Fuck it, I'm gonna invent a diet program people can follow now, and in return I promise them a slim and fit bony in the NEXT life.
  • Manowar
    jellyfish  
    • Dec 2003
    • 71528

    #2
    Jesus Shaves

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    • escorpio
      doesn't fuck around.
      • Oct 2002
      • 23486

      #3
      Brand awareness is excellent but most people have been put off by the hardsell tactics of many Jesus salesman. The best way to convert Jesus is with a soft-sell approach. You have to let the buyer think it was their idea to buy into Jesus.
      Unvaxxed, still alive.

      Comment

      • fallenmuffin
        Confirmed User
        • Nov 2005
        • 8170

        #4
        It would convert really good even after years and years of being saturated. Though rebills are very unlikey and should only be pushed on a PPS bases.

        Originally posted by ICP
        Would you like to healed, little Jonathan? (yes, reverand).
        You see brothers and sisters, this...(beep-beep beep-beep)
        Excuse me. I told you never to page me on a sermon day. Yes?
        Uh-huh. Hallalujah. Outty. People, that was the lord, today only,
        he will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars!

        Comment

        • directfiesta
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Oct 2002
          • 30188

          #5
          answer:

          by the sword.
          I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT !

          But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

          Comment

          • jayeff
            Confirmed User
            • May 2001
            • 2944

            #6
            It would sell very well, so long as you played down that pussy christianity stuff and sold it on the promise of good old-fashioned hell and damnation to all the faggots, loose wimmen, anyone outside the US (and a fair few inside)...

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