Post your best jokes

Ok! There was an English guy, German guy and Gipsy guy!
They have these 3 tasks!


First : to drink this amazingly strong whisky,
Second : to find a bear in the cave and brake his legs!,
Third : to fuck this gorgeous Japanese girl!



So English guy take a glass of whisky, take a seep, and just bang down on the ground and faint!!

German is next, so he take a seep, and mange to get in this cave, but the bear kills him!

And finally is Gipsys turn!

Her drinks up his whisky like its nothing and he go inside the cave looking for this bear!!!
And after a few seconds you can hear shouting and grulling from a cave!
And you can hear it real hard!
So after about 15 minutes the Gipsy guy is getting out of the cave and says!

"Ok where is this gorgeous Japanese girls so i can brake her legs!!!!

Never heard that one!

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one turns to the other and says...

"Does this taste funny to you?"

Hilarious!

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'. The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out..'


The passenger was unimpressed.. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.
'We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14.'


With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!' Without flinching, she smiled and said, 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.

Ed Zachery Disease

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."
The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room
"Again, the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly "Your probrem vewy bad.

You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or
dates."
The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary
Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face looks Ed Zachary like your ass!

What does a blond say after sex?



Thanks guys!

Why we love dogs more than women.

Put your girlfriend, wife and your dog in the trunk of a car for an hour. Open the trunk and who do you think is the most exited to see you?

been posted b4 but was funny

I saw a billboard sign that read--



NEED HELP, CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787

Out of curiosity, I did.

A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

Q: What's the worst thing about getting a lung transplant?
A: Coughing up someone else's phlegm!

A guy walks into a bar and notices a guy sitting there with a head the size of a baseball.
Feeling sorry for him, he buys him a beer, walks over and says, 'Excuse me, I can see you're having a bad day, and I thought you could do with another beer'.
Grateful, the small headed man accepts and the two start talking. Soon the conversation turns to the size of his head.
'It's a long story' he says. 'I'm an archaeologist and one day in the deserts of the Middle East I found this old bottle. Cleaning the sand off it with my shirt, I was surprised when suddenly a beautiful blonde Genie popped out from it!'
'Master', she says 'For releasing me I shall grant you any one wish.'
'Pondering this I say to her, I have been here alone digging for three long years, without a woman...I would like to make love to you!'
'Master, I can grant you any wish but that, for I must remain pure'. She answered.
'Ok then' I said to her 'How about a little head then?'


Boom tish!

Retox Josh

Why did the Australian cross the road ?





I kid I kid