I had my 29th birthday last month. I have a little brother who is literally young enough to be my son, if I'd gotten an early start. I have a little sister who is in her mid-20s; she owns a house and has a responsible job. My father is dead. My father's brother is dead. All my grandparent's except one grandmother are dead. I have cousins younger than me who are grown up and starting families. I've been homeless, I've had money, I've been broke, I've been in long-term and short-term relationships. I've slept with a fair handful of women. I've bought and sold cars, I've had positions of responsibility in other people's businesses and affairs. I've been my own boss. I've had bosses.
The other day while I was in line at the gas station, a guy in front of me, wearing a nice security-company uniform and a Batman-style utility belt, asked for a pack of cigarettes and then gave his birthdate as x/x/1984 and I just about fell over; this guy, who is obviously a grown man with an adult job and adult responsibilities and who is old enough to buy cigarettes, alcohol and firearms in our country is younger than my little sister! I know it doesn't sound like much but it really fucked with my head. Then today, I spent my day doing grownup stuff like running errands, changing my car's oil and replacing a burned-out turn signal, meeting someone for lunch, etc, but just now I remembered the gas station incident and I stopped to take a little self-inventory and realized I still don't feel like a grownup!
Do you ever really feel grown up? I've had heartache and pressures, I've slept in the streets and in cars, I've been burned in love and by friends, I've fought physically and emotionally a thousand times for a thousand things, I've seen and done more than many people my age but somehow it hasn't had the effect of making me feel like an adult. I still feel like I'm sort of cruising along, not much different then I felt ten years ago. I'm a little more mature and less prone to physical altercations, but otherwise I just don't feel like I thought I would feel when I got to be pushing 30.
Do you feel like an adult?
SpaceAce
The other day while I was in line at the gas station, a guy in front of me, wearing a nice security-company uniform and a Batman-style utility belt, asked for a pack of cigarettes and then gave his birthdate as x/x/1984 and I just about fell over; this guy, who is obviously a grown man with an adult job and adult responsibilities and who is old enough to buy cigarettes, alcohol and firearms in our country is younger than my little sister! I know it doesn't sound like much but it really fucked with my head. Then today, I spent my day doing grownup stuff like running errands, changing my car's oil and replacing a burned-out turn signal, meeting someone for lunch, etc, but just now I remembered the gas station incident and I stopped to take a little self-inventory and realized I still don't feel like a grownup!
Do you ever really feel grown up? I've had heartache and pressures, I've slept in the streets and in cars, I've been burned in love and by friends, I've fought physically and emotionally a thousand times for a thousand things, I've seen and done more than many people my age but somehow it hasn't had the effect of making me feel like an adult. I still feel like I'm sort of cruising along, not much different then I felt ten years ago. I'm a little more mature and less prone to physical altercations, but otherwise I just don't feel like I thought I would feel when I got to be pushing 30.
Do you feel like an adult?
SpaceAce
AIM: GrouchyGfy
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