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- be arrested for DUI
- be a new Ambassador of Goodwill for the UN
- hangout eith Brangelina
- drink more beer
- eat more steak
- smoke weed (and only weed)
- teach underprivileged kids to "Moonwalk" with strict supervision of their parents
- sell Neverland and live with Dolly Parton in Dollyland
- sell his autobiography into a Hollywood movie starring Chris
- appear on The View, Martha Stewart and Oprah all at the same time as a publicity stunt
- appear in new seasons of the Amazing Race (with sister Janet) and Fear Factor
- get all his brothers and sisters together for a reunion album
- appear in the centerfold of Playgirl magazine
- appear as a lone male model in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
- if all else fails, he can always kill himself
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