the new movie "Crank" with Jason Statham
just saw it. in the spirit of summer, i decided to forgive him for Transporter 2, the impossibly stupid car stunts and the morbidly retarded fight scene inside a poorly animated plane that is spinning out of control and crashing to the ground at 300 knots... and give him another chance.
i didn't expect much. i just expected a cheesy plot and a few cool fight scenes, people getting shot and shit getting blown up. i thought that was fair on my part.
i think maybe its the fact that i love Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels that keeps me holding out false hopes that he might actually one day appear again in a movie that doesn't so completely suck.
what amazed me with this movie was that they figured out how to make a film suck from the very first second of the opening credits (you'll get it if you see it) and then skillfully managed to make sure it sucked even more, every second, frame by shitty frame... right up until the end. they were very careful to highlight and emphasize the sucking with a soundtrack and music that couldn't be farther from complimenting the movie and what was going on. it was about as a appropriate the to scenes as Britney Spears would be to Schindler's List.
in fact, it sucks so bad that you ultimately begin to develop this sort of morbid curiousity and start wanting to watch it just to see how bad the next scene will suck and in a begrudging way, you kinda find yourself beginning to admire the skill it took to make it keep sucking more and more and more ... until the final scene... where you will bear sad witness what might very well be the stupidest ending of any movie ever made.
i didn't expect much. i just expected a cheesy plot and a few cool fight scenes, people getting shot and shit getting blown up. i thought that was fair on my part.
i think maybe its the fact that i love Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels that keeps me holding out false hopes that he might actually one day appear again in a movie that doesn't so completely suck.
what amazed me with this movie was that they figured out how to make a film suck from the very first second of the opening credits (you'll get it if you see it) and then skillfully managed to make sure it sucked even more, every second, frame by shitty frame... right up until the end. they were very careful to highlight and emphasize the sucking with a soundtrack and music that couldn't be farther from complimenting the movie and what was going on. it was about as a appropriate the to scenes as Britney Spears would be to Schindler's List.
in fact, it sucks so bad that you ultimately begin to develop this sort of morbid curiousity and start wanting to watch it just to see how bad the next scene will suck and in a begrudging way, you kinda find yourself beginning to admire the skill it took to make it keep sucking more and more and more ... until the final scene... where you will bear sad witness what might very well be the stupidest ending of any movie ever made.
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