A guy breaks into a house...

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  • Donny
    As you wish...
    • May 2002
    • 13754

    #1

    A guy breaks into a house...

    A guy breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

    While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
  • JD
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Sep 2003
    • 22651

    #2
    hahaha ouch

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    • Violetta
      Affiliate
      • Jul 2004
      • 28735

      #3
      hehe... great!
      M&A Queen

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      • scotty2hotty1111
        Confirmed User
        • Apr 2006
        • 1113

        #4
        hahahahah
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        Giving up is just NOT an option

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        • Tullian Zombie
          Confirmed User
          • May 2006
          • 302

          #5
          The Smut Lady Women's erotica blog
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          • blowme_DL
            Confirmed User
            • Jan 2006
            • 2077

            #6
            great stuff


            lol

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            • Slap Dot
              Confirmed User
              • Aug 2004
              • 3168

              #7
              one word..

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              • BradM
                Confirmed User
                • Dec 2003
                • 3397

                #8


                Awessssommmeeeeeeee lollll

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                • sexybabe
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2005
                  • 3129

                  #9

                  Comment

                  • SmutGiant
                    Confirmed User
                    • Oct 2003
                    • 4896

                    #10
                    a humourous piece of literature indeed, but too predictable to be laugh out loud funny, ya dig? see sig!

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                    • Bdiddy
                      Confirmed User
                      • Mar 2006
                      • 2456

                      #11
                      poor bastard...
                      "..and which one of you had the prime rib?" - Waiter

                      "frankly, I don't see how that's any of your business!" - Peter Griffin

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                      • notabook
                        Confirmed User
                        • Apr 2006
                        • 9748

                        #12
                        Looks like he's going to learn the meaning of tough love

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                        • k0nr4d
                          Confirmed User
                          • Aug 2006
                          • 9231

                          #13
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                          • jOE =D
                            Confirmed User
                            • Aug 2006
                            • 118

                            #14
                            HAHA! Good one!!
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                            • sniperwolf
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Mar 2005
                              • 17743

                              #15
                              lmao... funny shit.., thanks dude
                              ~Accepting design works~

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                              • PussyTeenies
                                Confirmed User
                                • Feb 2005
                                • 6496

                                #16
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                                • illeana
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Aug 2006
                                  • 433

                                  #17
                                  That was great
                                  illeana



                                  Promote me and I'll screw your brains out....
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                                  • Sarah_Jayne
                                    Now with more Jayne
                                    • Dec 2002
                                    • 40077

                                    #18
                                    he got it in the end

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                                    • betabomb
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Nov 2005
                                      • 777

                                      #19
                                      ty for that

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                                      • Stacey_JoinRightNow
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Feb 2005
                                        • 6269

                                        #20
                                        eowwww.... hahhahhaha, thats kinda weird!

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                                        • wargames
                                          Kliris
                                          • May 2003
                                          • 10423

                                          #21
                                          Heard it before but still fucking hilarious
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                                          • calibra
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Feb 2003
                                            • 4357

                                            #22

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                                            • rodney25
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                                              • Jun 2005
                                              • 7090

                                              #23
                                              What a twist!


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                                              • Sparks
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Nov 2004
                                                • 2466

                                                #24
                                                Lol that's a good one

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                                                • free4porn
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                                                  • Jun 2005
                                                  • 4654

                                                  #25
                                                  lol cool
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                                                  • hzoltan
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Mar 2006
                                                    • 2007

                                                    #26
                                                    thank God the wife told the guy where to find vaseline. that is love
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                                                    • Wiggles
                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                      • May 2004
                                                      • 14423

                                                      #27
                                                      haha i love that joke
                                                      no sig

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                                                      • natas
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Mar 2002
                                                        • 3377

                                                        #28
                                                        nice

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                                                        • Scott McD
                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                          • Nov 2002
                                                          • 67792

                                                          #29
                                                          Sucks to be him...


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                                                          • FunForOne
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Nov 2003
                                                            • 8704

                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by sarah_webinc
                                                            he got it in the end



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                                                            • Sarah_Jayne
                                                              Now with more Jayne
                                                              • Dec 2002
                                                              • 40077

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by FunForOne
                                                              thank you *bow*

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                                                              • Donny
                                                                As you wish...
                                                                • May 2002
                                                                • 13754

                                                                #32
                                                                We all need to see this again tonight.

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                                                                • minusonebit
                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                  • Feb 2006
                                                                  • 7391

                                                                  #33

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                                                                  • avolongold
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • Jul 2006
                                                                    • 580

                                                                    #34
                                                                    that sucks
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                                                                    • avolongold
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Jul 2006
                                                                      • 580

                                                                      #35
                                                                      not the joke but that sucks for that guy
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                                                                      • madawgz
                                                                        8.8.8.8
                                                                        • Mar 2006
                                                                        • 30509

                                                                        #36
                                                                        haha
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                                                                        • coinzblow
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • May 2006
                                                                          • 116

                                                                          #37
                                                                          Never gets old :p

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                                                                          • nAtuRaLbEautY
                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                            • May 2006
                                                                            • 6107

                                                                            #38
                                                                            haha!!!!
                                                                            i wish him luck!
                                                                            great one
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                                                                            • sicone
                                                                              Retired
                                                                              • Jan 2004
                                                                              • 18453

                                                                              #39
                                                                              sucks to be him, but at least the robber asked where the vasoline was

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                                                                              • VS_Eddie
                                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                                • May 2006
                                                                                • 663

                                                                                #40
                                                                                That's awesome!
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                                                                                • u-Bob
                                                                                  there's no $$$ in porn
                                                                                  • Jul 2005
                                                                                  • 33063

                                                                                  #41
                                                                                  Lol

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                                                                                  • MrCain
                                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                                    • Jun 2006
                                                                                    • 3332

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    LMAO
                                                                                    Sigmund

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                                                                                    • WalkerTR
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                                                                                      • Jun 2006
                                                                                      • 1646

                                                                                      #43

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                                                                                      • GT-Omar
                                                                                        DM at Performive.com
                                                                                        • Aug 2006
                                                                                        • 2968

                                                                                        #44
                                                                                        Niceeeeeeee good one!!


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                                                                                        • Pipeline Q
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Dec 2004
                                                                                          • 3891

                                                                                          #45
                                                                                          LMAO i haven't heard that one ever before

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                                                                                          • BluewireAngie
                                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                                            • Apr 2006
                                                                                            • 4643

                                                                                            #46
                                                                                            lol!
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                                                                                            • LittleSassy
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                                                                                              • May 2005
                                                                                              • 7402

                                                                                              #47
                                                                                              LOL....that will hurt

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                                                                                              • gooboy
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                                                                                                • Jul 2006
                                                                                                • 52

                                                                                                #48

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                                                                                                • axelcat
                                                                                                  Adult Locals
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                                                                                                  • 25450

                                                                                                  #49

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                                                                                                  • gimo33
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                                                                                                    • Mar 2006
                                                                                                    • 5599

                                                                                                    #50
                                                                                                    50.... nice joke by the way... lmao!...
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