Breaking News: New rules set for boarding aircraft

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  • RawAlex
    So Fucking Banned
    • Oct 2003
    • 9465

    #1

    Breaking News: New rules set for boarding aircraft

    In order to assure that all flights are safe, the following rules are now in effect:

    No carry on luggage at all. What the heck are you bringing with you, anyway? You know the airlines never lose your luggage, and nobody ever breaks into your bags or steals anything, so quick crowding up the plane with your crap.

    No clothes on boarding. An area will be provided for you to remove all of your clothes before flying, and convenient bags will be provided and labeled. You will be able to claim your clothes at the end of your flight. You will be allowed to retain your undergarments only!

    Random cavity checks are in effect. SHow your boarding pass and bend over.

    Have a nice flight.
  • bobby666
    boots are my religion
    • Nov 2005
    • 21765

    #2
    allready seen her a dozen times, your new rules

    Comment

    • wedouglas
      So Fucking Banned
      • Aug 2004
      • 5921

      #3
      Eh, I would rather they just did racial profiling

      Comment

      • BJ
        Confirmed User
        • Mar 2002
        • 5590

        #4
        thank god I have my commercial pilots license. Just made a flight from chicago to nashville and back in under 5 hours. No lines no waiting

        Comment

        • edgeprod
          Permanently Gone
          • Mar 2004
          • 10019

          #5
          Originally posted by wedouglas
          Eh, I would rather they just did racial profiling

          Comment

          • scottybuzz
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • May 2006
            • 14799

            #6
            Originally posted by wedouglas
            Eh, I would rather they just did racial profiling
            hate to agree with it, but i do
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            • RawAlex
              So Fucking Banned
              • Oct 2003
              • 9465

              #7
              Why, you don't want the sweaty naked guy next to you?

              Comment

              • Tdog
                Confirmed User
                • May 2006
                • 2707

                #8
                I just hope they dont take my laptop away. I need to do something while im stuck on that plane for that long.

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                • BoyAlley
                  So Fucking Gay
                  • Nov 2004
                  • 19714

                  #9
                  Originally posted by wedouglas
                  Eh, I would rather they just did racial profiling

                  Comment

                  • Penthouse Tony
                    Confirmed User
                    • Apr 2004
                    • 5835

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Tdog
                    I just hope they dont take my laptop away. I need to do something while im stuck on that plane for that long.
                    I wouldn't be surprised if they started making people power up laptops and cell phones just to prove that they are really those devices.
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                    • CheneyRumsfeld
                      Confirmed User
                      • Sep 2004
                      • 1341

                      #11
                      no laptops, phones or ipods in carry on

                      Comment

                      • GregE
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jul 2004
                        • 2704

                        #12
                        Originally posted by wedouglas
                        Eh, I would rather they just did racial profiling
                        That's a controversial suggestion to say the least, but it is dead on.

                        Think about it, has even one suicide hijacking or human bomb incident been linked to a non "middle eastern" type?

                        I mean ever?

                        These are strange times we're living in and the usual polite and politically correct measures are not necessarily the most appropriate.

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                        • RawAlex
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Oct 2003
                          • 9465

                          #13
                          Greg, as soon as they use racial profiling, the bastards will find stupid white people to carry the bombs on board. Racial profiling creates an opening in other areas. Why do you think they check everyone inclusing little old ladies and 12 year old kids?

                          Sagi, leaving through Montreal airport, I know every time ihave to show that my laptop works as a laptop and that my cell phone actually powers up. They get really freaky when I also have a digital still camera, film camera, lenses, video camers, and whatnot... pretty much pisses them off.

                          Comment

                          • jacked
                            sperm tail
                            • May 2004
                            • 11019

                            #14
                            you can't expect any less from the bush administration
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                            • studiocritic
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jun 2005
                              • 2442

                              #15
                              Originally posted by GregE
                              That's a controversial suggestion to say the least, but it is dead on.

                              Think about it, has even one suicide hijacking or human bomb incident been linked to a non "middle eastern" type?

                              I mean ever?

                              These are strange times we're living in and the usual polite and politically correct measures are not necessarily the most appropriate.
                              One of the alleged guys just arrested in the UK had only converted to Islam very recently.. and he had a very western last name. I'm fairly certain he was white, no pics.
                              254342256

                              Comment

                              • Scott McD
                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                • Nov 2002
                                • 67792

                                #16
                                The last time i was going on a flight to America, one of the asshole check guys at the airport basically yelled at me to take me cap off. (which i was about to anyway)

                                I wonder if he would do the same to a towelhead ??


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                                • reynold
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • Oct 2002
                                  • 51271

                                  #17
                                  Why can't they just inject all passengers with narcotic before taking off?

                                  Comment

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