50 great stories!!
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i was in rome with a couple of friends.
we visited the "petersdom" and went up to the highest point of the building"
while going down me and my friend spotted a AMAZINGLY HOT "ITALIAN" girl
so we start to talk in german bout her real loud.
something like : damn this girl has a nice booty... i would slap it for sure
so we see she pulls out her cam to take a pic of the view...
gentleman as we are we stand back to give her the chance to take a pic of the view without us on the pic.
so she turns to me and my friend and says to us in accent-free perfect german: danke sehr nett von euch <---- thanks very kind of you
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I was leaning in to kiss some girl at the end of our first date and I called her by her best friend's name. Didn't get a kiss & never saw her again. Don't even remember her name, but I still remember her friend's name. *shrug*Your post count means nothing.Comment
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My friends and i were at a damn Karaoke night, and one of my friends was drunk as heck and singing. She kept harassing people to get up and dance with her, and she was bothering one table in particular, and one man.
She kept telling him "just get up! Get off your ass and dance! What the fuck."
Later, she saw him leaving, wheeling out on his wheel chair.Comment
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OMG, that was awesome!!!Originally posted by DrinkingHARDEST
I so needed a good laugh.
also, Steve your sooo crazy, I love it.
Your even funnier in person.
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I was working one evening at the MAC Cosmetics counter, when one of my regular pretty girls came in to get her make-up done, she was with another girl/lady in a sweater and looking some what older than us, I said "oh, this is your mother!"
She said, NO! This is my roomate. LOL I felt stupid.
I also said to my boyfriend's Mom...(she's candian)...soooo....you have American Candian Idol in Canada? I really felt stupid! hahaComment
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At my very first job as a programmer, me and two other new employees started the same day. We spent the morning in an "orientation class" to go over the company policies.
At the end, the instructor asked if there were any questions. Another student asked if there was an official company policy about "nepotism".
I don't know where my mind was, but I thought she was talking about "necrophilia", and I said "Oh man, that's so sick! Why would they need an official policy about THAT!"
um, oopsAbra-cadabra!Comment
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After my best friend's wife had their first baby, I was curious how she handled the pain of childbirth. But I'm no doctor, and I got the medical terms mixed up when I asked, "So how did you handle the pain? Did you need an episiotomy?"
um, oopsAbra-cadabra!Comment
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I don't think I have ever seen Steve take on a thread like this one!
Good Stuff!Comment
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Haha, this thread is hilarious
Steve you totally remind me of a good friend of my family. He's hysterical just telling personal stories like yours, lol.Comment
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Worst one for me eer, i was trying to do it doggie with an ex and for whatever reason we weren't connecting and I said:
"Maybe your ass is too big."
I don't know what the fuck i was thinking but I still feel horrible when I think back on it. She should have said, "Maybe your dick is too small" instead of crying.
Retired Pornosticator
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I was over at my parents house cuz they were having a dinner get together with friends. i was talking to my mom's friend from work on the couch who no lie weighs like 250 easy. and to boot, she had a big elephant charm hanging at the end of her necklace. anyways, my buddy walks through the door and one of the first thing he asks is "where's the food?". mind you my friend is a gym freak and in great shape. i go on to tell everone, the 250 pounder included "that's my friend doug...he gets all the fat jokes cuz he eats non stop". i felt horrible!
foot in mouth
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My nephew took a videocamera into the shop to get it repaired, but when I went to pick it up, they had no record of it. I didn't know any of the details about the day it was dropped off, so I called my nephew. I told the brunette woman behind the counter, "All he remembers was giving it to some really dumb blonde girl." She got really pissed off. Aparently she WAS blonde until just before I met her, and the only woman that even worked there!
um, oops...Abra-cadabra!Comment
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Classic!Originally posted by MarkTiarra
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One of the programmers I worked with had severely crossed-eyes, and was nearly blind because of it. He used a special computer which magnified the letters on his screen so he could read.
We became friends when we worked together on a project. Our manager called me into her office to chew me out about a bunch of problems, most of which weren't our fault.
When I came back to our area, he could tell I was upset and asked me what was wrong. I explained, "She's just being a bitch. She gets pissed off every time someone looks cross-eyed at her!"
um, oopsAbra-cadabra!Comment
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I have few, if any, real regrets
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Hahaha. Ok that reminds me of what just happend to me recently.Originally posted by ibbunkI was over at my parents house cuz they were having a dinner get together with friends. i was talking to my mom's friend from work on the couch who no lie weighs like 250 easy. and to boot, she had a big elephant charm hanging at the end of her necklace. anyways, my buddy walks through the door and one of the first thing he asks is "where's the food?". mind you my friend is a gym freak and in great shape. i go on to tell everone, the 250 pounder included "that's my friend doug...he gets all the fat jokes cuz he eats non stop". i felt horrible!
foot in mouth
Ok, so on July 4th I'm at my moms house for a barbeque. I had just gotten back from a 2 week vacation in Croatia. At one point I'm telling a group of people that the country was beautiful and so were all the people. I didn't see ANY fat people ANYWHERE. The entire country was slim and all the girls were beautifull and tight bodied. Litterally the entire country was thin..no fat anywhere. And I really emphasized it....
One of the people at the table was a young overweight women just giving me the evil eye, lol. Oooops.Comment
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I have one from childhood. Growing up in NYC we always took elevators and one day I was with my Mother and a heavier set woman got in and I asked her when she was having her baby. I can't even imagine the look on my Mom's face....LOL
This was in the building we lived in so I'm sure it made for many uncomfortable elevator rides.
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I was bullshitting with a friend of mine today about our old co workers. I asked him about "this douche bag RB" and my friend replied back with "he was killed two years ago in a car accident"
ahh shit!Comment
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I use to be a manager for a pretty big research company. I liked to have lunch with the employees in the lunch room instead of with the management. One day there was just me an one employee in the break room and we were talking about how she had never met so many gay people until she had moved here. I said some like yeah there are an extreamly large amount of gay people here, you even work for one. Jerry the site manager is gay, you didnt know that?
Then Jerry walked into the room with a scowlling look on his face. I was fired at the end of the day. Jerry said it for being unprofessional.
Too bad, it was a nice job really good money, weekends off, 401k, and insurance. Plus it was something I really liked and enjoy doing so I was really good at it and one of the most productive managers at our facility.Last edited by DirkG; 07-30-2006, 12:07 PM.Trade traffic with Totally4free TGP HERE
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Originally posted by MarkTiarra
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I walked around our office collecting computer manuals, telling everyone I was going to organize them into a "central suppository"Abra-cadabra!Comment
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