Sick jokes

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • The Duck
    Adult Content Provider
    • May 2005
    • 18243
    #1

    Sick jokes

    Those on the edge jokes can be hilarious to some and utterly offensive to others. Let's do this.

    What does Stevie Wonder?s wife
    do when they?ve had a fight?
    She rearranges the furniture.

    What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd
    have in common?
    Their last big hit was The Wall.

    Why do Jews have big noses?
    Air is free.


    What?s the difference between Jesus and
    a picture of Jesus?
    It only takes one nail to hang a picture.

    A man walks into a sex shop and tells the
    woman behind the counter he?s looking for a
    blow-up doll. The woman asks, ?Would you like
    a Christian or a Muslim doll??. Confused, the
    man says, ?What?s the difference??.
    ?Well,? replies the woman, ?the Muslim one
    blows itself up.?

    A woman has just given birth in the hospital.
    When she wakes up from a long sleep the
    doctor approaches her.
    ?I have some good news and some bad news...?
    ?What do you mean?!?
    ?I?m afraid your baby has ginger hair.?
    ?That?s the bad news?! What?s the good news??
    ?He?s dead.?

    What do you call a white guy dancing?
    A seizure.

    And a special one to end the post..

    Two gfy post whores race off the edge of a cliff.
    Who wins?
    Society.
    Skype Horusmaia
    ICQ 41555245
    Email [email protected]
    Tags: None
    • SilentKnight
      Megan Fox's fluffer
      • Oct 2005
      • 24818
      #2
      There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

      She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

      When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

      She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

      The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

      Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

      As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

      Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."

        Comment

        • Spunky
          I need a beer
          • Jun 2002
          • 133986
          #3
          Insert racial stereotype joke here

            Comment

            • Spieglergirls
              Confirmed User
              • Feb 2008
              • 476
              #4
              What do you call 6 porn chicks in a room if 3 of them are on their period & 3 of them have a yeast infection?



              A whine & cheese party!
              Mark Spiegler
              "Patron of the Tarts"
              http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

                Comment

                • Z
                  Vidi Vici Veni
                  • Nov 2002
                  • 6308
                  #5
                  There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

                  The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

                  The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

                  The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

                  She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

                    Comment

                    • The Duck
                      Adult Content Provider
                      • May 2005
                      • 18243
                      #6
                      Originally posted by Z
                      There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

                      The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

                      The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

                      The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

                      She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."


                      Why did Hitler
                      commit
                      suicide?
                      He saw the gas bill.

                      How did the constipated mathematician
                      relieve himself?
                      He worked it out with a pencil.

                      What?s the
                      difference
                      between a woman
                      and a computer?
                      You only have to
                      punch the
                      information into a
                      computer once.

                      How do you scare a man?
                      Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

                      How many homosexuals does it take to put
                      in a light bulb?
                      Only one... but it takes an entire Emergency Room to
                      get it out.

                      How do you get a Granny to shout ?Cunt!??
                      Get another one to shout ?Bingo?.
                      Skype Horusmaia
                      ICQ 41555245
                      Email [email protected]

                        Comment

                        • Zuzana Designs
                          All Your Design Needs
                          • Feb 2005
                          • 20899
                          #7
                          ohhhh some good ones lol

                          Website Design - Consulting - Development
                          sarah [at] zuzanadesigns.com - See Our Work

                            Comment

                            • martinsc
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Jun 2005
                              • 27047
                              #8
                              some good ones
                              Make Money

                                Comment

                                • andy83
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Jun 2005
                                  • 1605
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by Spieglergirls
                                  What do you call 6 porn chicks in a room if 3 of them are on their period & 3 of them have a yeast infection?



                                  A whine & cheese party!

                                  lmao.. good 1

                                    Comment

                                    • fris
                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                      • Aug 2002
                                      • 55693
                                      #10
                                      A man donates blood to his wife after she is hurt in a crash.
                                      A few months later they go through a nasty divorce and he demands his blood back.
                                      She throws a used tampax in his face and says "There you go you fucker!......I'll pay you monthly"
                                      Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence.

                                        Comment

                                        • Arnjen
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Aug 2007
                                          • 184
                                          #11
                                          pwahahaha funny bastards nice ones ;)

                                            Comment

                                            • Spieglergirls
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Feb 2008
                                              • 476
                                              #12
                                              How do you brainwash a porn star?


                                              Enema!
                                              Mark Spiegler
                                              "Patron of the Tarts"
                                              http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

                                                Comment

                                                • Bojangles
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2007
                                                  • 5419
                                                  #13
                                                  Hahahahaha. Awesome jokes.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • L-Pink
                                                      working on my tan
                                                      • Mar 2005
                                                      • 39151
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Z
                                                      There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

                                                      The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

                                                      The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

                                                      The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

                                                      She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."


                                                      .

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Spunky
                                                          I need a beer
                                                          • Jun 2002
                                                          • 133986
                                                          #15
                                                          Lol,some of those were pretty good

                                                            Comment

                                                            • The Duck
                                                              Adult Content Provider
                                                              • May 2005
                                                              • 18243
                                                              #16
                                                              There is more..

                                                              What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for
                                                              Christmas?
                                                              Cancer.

                                                              Why did the girl fall off the swing?
                                                              Because she had no arms.

                                                              What animal has a cunt in the middle
                                                              of its back?
                                                              A police horse.

                                                              ‘I want to die in my sleep like my Grandad. Not
                                                              kicking and screaming like his passengers.’

                                                              ‘Did you hear about the gynaecologist who
                                                              decorated his house through the letter box?’

                                                              ‘In today’s news, police in Alabama found the
                                                              body of black man hanging from a tree. His
                                                              arms and legs had been cut off, he’d been set
                                                              on fire and shot seven times. The Sheriff said it
                                                              was the worst suicide he’d ever seen.’

                                                              A baby seal walks into a club...

                                                              What’s the
                                                              difference
                                                              between a cow
                                                              and a hamster?
                                                              The cow survived
                                                              branding.
                                                              Skype Horusmaia
                                                              ICQ 41555245
                                                              Email [email protected]

                                                                Comment

                                                                • The Duck
                                                                  Adult Content Provider
                                                                  • May 2005
                                                                  • 18243
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Some gfy poetry.

                                                                  Jack and Jill went up the hill
                                                                  So Jack could lick Jill’s fanny
                                                                  All he got was a mouthful of cum
                                                                  ‘Cos Jill’s a fucking tranny

                                                                  There once was a man from Nantucket
                                                                  Whose dick was so long he could suck it
                                                                  He said with a grin
                                                                  As he wiped off his chin
                                                                  ‘If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it’

                                                                  There was a young chap called Dave
                                                                  Who kept a dead whore in a cave
                                                                  He said, ‘I admit
                                                                  She does smell a bit
                                                                  But look at the money I save’
                                                                  Skype Horusmaia
                                                                  ICQ 41555245
                                                                  Email [email protected]

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • The Duck
                                                                      Adult Content Provider
                                                                      • May 2005
                                                                      • 18243
                                                                      #18
                                                                      What’s a shitzu?
                                                                      A zoo with no animals.
                                                                      Skype Horusmaia
                                                                      ICQ 41555245
                                                                      Email [email protected]

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • The Judge
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Jan 2006
                                                                          • 1647
                                                                          #19
                                                                          I did not get these, please explain


                                                                          Did you hear about the gynaecologist who
                                                                          decorated his house through the letter box?’


                                                                          What’s the
                                                                          difference
                                                                          between a cow
                                                                          and a hamster?
                                                                          The cow survived
                                                                          branding.
                                                                          Last edited by The Judge; 11-22-2008, 03:56 PM.

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Sveindt Beindt
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Mar 2005
                                                                              • 1853
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Lol good ones

                                                                              Nylonfeet Bondage
                                                                              Vintage Magazine
                                                                              Pinup Teen

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Spieglergirls
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Feb 2008
                                                                                  • 476
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  What do you call the hair between your Grandmother's tits?



                                                                                  Her pussy!
                                                                                  Mark Spiegler
                                                                                  "Patron of the Tarts"
                                                                                  http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • tony299
                                                                                      lurker
                                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                                      • 57021
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      so wrong and so funny

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • The Duck
                                                                                          Adult Content Provider
                                                                                          • May 2005
                                                                                          • 18243
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by The Judge
                                                                                          I did not get these, please explain


                                                                                          Did you hear about the gynaecologist who
                                                                                          decorated his house through the letter box??


                                                                                          What?s the
                                                                                          difference
                                                                                          between a cow
                                                                                          and a hamster?
                                                                                          The cow survived
                                                                                          branding.
                                                                                          Gynecologist is used to working through small orifices.

                                                                                          Second, I would like to illustrate why the hamster did not survive the branding.

                                                                                          Skype Horusmaia
                                                                                          ICQ 41555245
                                                                                          Email [email protected]

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            Previous template Next
                                                                                            Working...