I love doing business at shows, however, these days, you always have a few "interesting" characters swing by your booth / cabana and propose that they are going to change the way the internet does business.
Having shared stories at the show with a few people, I thought I would share one of mine here.
http://www.midgetarmy.com/2006/07/20...-of-sacrifice/
While at the XBIZ Show at The Hard Rock in Las Vegas last week, my good friends from Playboy and the company I work for held down a couple of poolside cabanas each day. We just wanted to have an area dedicated to showing our clients, potential clients and friends a deep level of hospitality. This specific weekend in Vegas occurred during what has been one of the hottest heatwaves across the US in years, raising temperatures to nearly 120 degrees poolside.
The following is a true story based on actual events::::::::::
Eric from Playboy yells out my name and tells two guys that I am the one they should see. I turn and look, see the two guys, both making eye contact with me, and I approach with a handshake and an introduction.
Before I even get out of my mouth my job title, one of them says,
?Actually, we are going to need your business card.?
Fine I thought. So I move back through the crowded cabana and I reach into my daybag and get out a business card, turn and move back through the cabana back towards the guys. As soon as I get back, the guy who asked for the business card is now on his cell phone and gives me ?the hand.?
I don?t even care that much about getting ?the hand,? but for Christ sake, it is fucking 120 degrees out here, I don?t want to get stuck standing away from the mister for too long. I try to talk to his partner, but he nods in defiance of speaking.
After about 20 seconds, the guy gets off his cell (of course, that was after he declined a million on something).
?Ok, ?.um?..?
He pauses, looks back down at my business card.
?Cory! We want to do some business with your company.?
?Sounds great, what do you have in mind??
I reply.
?Well now, that depends on how your operation runs, this is why we came to see you.?
?When you say you want to know ?how our operation runs,? can you be more specific? Is this a deal on the processing level? Hosting??
?Cory, we want to know what your company [long pause, eyes on business card] Weg does.?
?Ok, so you basically want to do business with a company that you do not know what it does??
The two guys smile at each other.
?You got it Cory! We have a product that is going to change the way the Internet works! We are going to change the landscape of the way business is done online! Forever!?
And there it was. I had been waiting. It was like finding out you have chlamydia after spending 2 years in Vietnam, you just kind of knew it was coming.
?What does your product do? It must be versatile considering you don?t know what ours does.?
I said, and patiently waited as he and his pal eyed each other with smiles, pretending as if they just couldn?t hold back celebrating in our cabana, which was now standing strong at about 122 degrees. They looked at each other as if I was just too aloof to their greatness.
?We can?t tell you yet. We would need you to sign an NDA. But, why don?t you tell us what your product does.?
?In general terms? We make porn sites. Webmasters send traffic to those sites. We pay them.?
?Ok, Ok, NOW we are getting somewhere! Now, how do you get those webmasters to send you traffic????
?We pay them.?
?That is AWESOME Cory! In fact this is so much awesomeness that I think we need to have a meeting! Do you have an extra cabana we can use so that us three can sit down for a while??
He and Silent Bob looked at each other, highly anticipating my response.
?I am so confused, but please, what are we going to meet about? Did I miss something??
?No Cory from Weg, you did not miss a thing. We want to get to know you and how your product works so we can make you millions.?
?But you are going to have to tell me something about what you do.?
They giggle. The temperature now feels like 141 degrees. My back is sweating. I am pretty sure I see Christy Brinkley rise from the Hard Rock pool in the distance. The heat was getting to me.
Then his phone rings, I get the hand and am left standing with silent bob. I give him a look of frustration. I kind of wanted to torture him into talking, I think I was becoming delusional from the heat.
The other guy returned.
?Cory, we can?t just tell you how our operation runs. Do you think you are the first person to try to get in on our product so quickly? No way, every cabana we visit we get companies constantly asking us ?what we do.??
?Look man, it is really hot. I think I might be melting. In fact, I think I might be slightly delusional. Maybe you guys (or you) should email me sometime.?
I looked around the cabana. I kind of wanted to find some water and some peodi, in that order. I wanted to make my body feel as though it were floating away from this situation; but I didn?t want to dehydrate.
I looked towards the sky, it began to rain briefcases and men?s warehouse suits. Everything became blurry. I became nauseas.
?Cory, this is a HUGE opportunity for you. I suggest you focus a little less on our product and a little more on what it is that you guys can do for us.?
Fuck. My left hand melted completely off. I became frightened. I have been doing shows for years, I have been inundated with sale?s pitches at all of them, but for the first time in my life, I was potentially going to die while being pitched a product that?s only function is to ?change the way the internet works.?
Had they intended this happen?
I drank some water. No one could find a peodi shaman in the cabana.
?Look dudes, it was great speaking with you. You both really seem to be on the fast track for success. However, I am potentially going to melt and my insurance does not cover melting, so I need to go.?
Silent Bob looked at his counterpart, anticipating he would seal the deal.
?But Cory from Weg?this is an AWESOME opportunity!?
I didn?t want to do what I did next. Truth be told, I still feel bad. But sometimes at shows, you have to make tough decisions. If you can?t make tough decisions, you don?t belong. I knew a sacrifice had to be made.
?Dudes, have you ever heard of a company called Adult Friend Finder? They are huge. I have to go, but you should find Sean or Lars. They both have business cards.?
I never found any peodi.
Having shared stories at the show with a few people, I thought I would share one of mine here.
http://www.midgetarmy.com/2006/07/20...-of-sacrifice/
While at the XBIZ Show at The Hard Rock in Las Vegas last week, my good friends from Playboy and the company I work for held down a couple of poolside cabanas each day. We just wanted to have an area dedicated to showing our clients, potential clients and friends a deep level of hospitality. This specific weekend in Vegas occurred during what has been one of the hottest heatwaves across the US in years, raising temperatures to nearly 120 degrees poolside.
The following is a true story based on actual events::::::::::
Eric from Playboy yells out my name and tells two guys that I am the one they should see. I turn and look, see the two guys, both making eye contact with me, and I approach with a handshake and an introduction.
Before I even get out of my mouth my job title, one of them says,
?Actually, we are going to need your business card.?
Fine I thought. So I move back through the crowded cabana and I reach into my daybag and get out a business card, turn and move back through the cabana back towards the guys. As soon as I get back, the guy who asked for the business card is now on his cell phone and gives me ?the hand.?
I don?t even care that much about getting ?the hand,? but for Christ sake, it is fucking 120 degrees out here, I don?t want to get stuck standing away from the mister for too long. I try to talk to his partner, but he nods in defiance of speaking.
After about 20 seconds, the guy gets off his cell (of course, that was after he declined a million on something).
?Ok, ?.um?..?
He pauses, looks back down at my business card.
?Cory! We want to do some business with your company.?
?Sounds great, what do you have in mind??
I reply.
?Well now, that depends on how your operation runs, this is why we came to see you.?
?When you say you want to know ?how our operation runs,? can you be more specific? Is this a deal on the processing level? Hosting??
?Cory, we want to know what your company [long pause, eyes on business card] Weg does.?
?Ok, so you basically want to do business with a company that you do not know what it does??
The two guys smile at each other.
?You got it Cory! We have a product that is going to change the way the Internet works! We are going to change the landscape of the way business is done online! Forever!?
And there it was. I had been waiting. It was like finding out you have chlamydia after spending 2 years in Vietnam, you just kind of knew it was coming.
?What does your product do? It must be versatile considering you don?t know what ours does.?
I said, and patiently waited as he and his pal eyed each other with smiles, pretending as if they just couldn?t hold back celebrating in our cabana, which was now standing strong at about 122 degrees. They looked at each other as if I was just too aloof to their greatness.
?We can?t tell you yet. We would need you to sign an NDA. But, why don?t you tell us what your product does.?
?In general terms? We make porn sites. Webmasters send traffic to those sites. We pay them.?
?Ok, Ok, NOW we are getting somewhere! Now, how do you get those webmasters to send you traffic????
?We pay them.?
?That is AWESOME Cory! In fact this is so much awesomeness that I think we need to have a meeting! Do you have an extra cabana we can use so that us three can sit down for a while??
He and Silent Bob looked at each other, highly anticipating my response.
?I am so confused, but please, what are we going to meet about? Did I miss something??
?No Cory from Weg, you did not miss a thing. We want to get to know you and how your product works so we can make you millions.?
?But you are going to have to tell me something about what you do.?
They giggle. The temperature now feels like 141 degrees. My back is sweating. I am pretty sure I see Christy Brinkley rise from the Hard Rock pool in the distance. The heat was getting to me.
Then his phone rings, I get the hand and am left standing with silent bob. I give him a look of frustration. I kind of wanted to torture him into talking, I think I was becoming delusional from the heat.
The other guy returned.
?Cory, we can?t just tell you how our operation runs. Do you think you are the first person to try to get in on our product so quickly? No way, every cabana we visit we get companies constantly asking us ?what we do.??
?Look man, it is really hot. I think I might be melting. In fact, I think I might be slightly delusional. Maybe you guys (or you) should email me sometime.?
I looked around the cabana. I kind of wanted to find some water and some peodi, in that order. I wanted to make my body feel as though it were floating away from this situation; but I didn?t want to dehydrate.
I looked towards the sky, it began to rain briefcases and men?s warehouse suits. Everything became blurry. I became nauseas.
?Cory, this is a HUGE opportunity for you. I suggest you focus a little less on our product and a little more on what it is that you guys can do for us.?
Fuck. My left hand melted completely off. I became frightened. I have been doing shows for years, I have been inundated with sale?s pitches at all of them, but for the first time in my life, I was potentially going to die while being pitched a product that?s only function is to ?change the way the internet works.?
Had they intended this happen?
I drank some water. No one could find a peodi shaman in the cabana.
?Look dudes, it was great speaking with you. You both really seem to be on the fast track for success. However, I am potentially going to melt and my insurance does not cover melting, so I need to go.?
Silent Bob looked at his counterpart, anticipating he would seal the deal.
?But Cory from Weg?this is an AWESOME opportunity!?
I didn?t want to do what I did next. Truth be told, I still feel bad. But sometimes at shows, you have to make tough decisions. If you can?t make tough decisions, you don?t belong. I knew a sacrifice had to be made.
?Dudes, have you ever heard of a company called Adult Friend Finder? They are huge. I have to go, but you should find Sean or Lars. They both have business cards.?
I never found any peodi.
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