How Little Peeps Know About Australia and the Fanous Aussie Sense of Humor .....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, and let me tell you, these are people I want working for me !!!!

Enjoy ...

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

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Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

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Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?(Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

A: Only at Christmas.

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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

IF YOU DO NOT GET ANY OF THE JOKES ABOVE YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE AUSTRALIAN OR EVER HAVE VISITED THERE.






EITHER THAT OR YOU ARE AMERICAN.