Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian.

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  • -Turk-
    I gag on GFY Admin's cock!!!
    • Nov 2005
    • 350

    #1

    Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian.

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
  • BoyAlley
    So Fucking Gay
    • Nov 2004
    • 19714

    #2
    Haha I love it........

    Comment

    • pr0
      rockin tha trailerpark
      • May 2001
      • 23088

      #3
      i love it!
      __________
      Loadedca$h - get sum! - Revengebucks - mmm rebills! - webair (gotz sErVrz)

      Comment

      • Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE
        MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN
        • Jan 2004
        • 16502

        #4
        Originally posted by BoyAlley
        Haha I love it........

        that image made me drool in laughter

        Comment

        • -Turk-
          I gag on GFY Admin's cock!!!
          • Nov 2005
          • 350

          #5
          Originally posted by LOL :D
          that image made me drool in laughter
          that's some serious salivating.

          Comment

          • MaddCaz
            Confirmed User
            • Mar 2006
            • 9483

            #6
            heeheeehheee

            BigCocks.com -
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            many more... Click
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            Comment

            • baycouples
              Confirmed User
              • Mar 2004
              • 1341

              #7
              #1 is so true!!! It is extremely sad though that most of the world still believes in God but yet doesn't believe in Santa Clause.

              Comment

              • tranza
                ICQ: 197-556-237
                • Jun 2003
                • 57559

                #8
                Originally posted by BoyAlley
                Haha I love it........

                Lolololololololololol!!!

                Cool pic!!!
                I'm just a newbie.

                Comment

                • fuzzylogic
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 4796

                  #9
                  funny top 10 ten there!


                  though flag burning is not funny it should be included as #11

                  Comment

                  • czarina
                    Webmaster Extraordinaire
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 10751

                    #10
                    good one! and definitely right on!

                    Comment

                    • minusonebit
                      So Fucking Banned
                      • Feb 2006
                      • 7391

                      #11
                      Those ought to be the new 10 commandments.



                      Best Thread of the Day Award!

                      Comment

                      • Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE
                        MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 16502

                        #12
                        Originally posted by -Turk-
                        that's some serious salivating.
                        i was laughing so hard i forgot to swallow and it just drooled down my chin

                        Comment

                        • Dagwolf
                          President of Canada
                          • Sep 2003
                          • 23141

                          #13
                          Originally posted by -Turk-

                          3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

                          I'm convinced! Where do I sign up?
                          Sleep well, and dream of large women.

                          Comment

                          • madawgz
                            8.8.8.8
                            • Mar 2006
                            • 30509

                            #14
                            Originally posted by BoyAlley
                            Haha I love it........

                            TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

                            Comment

                            • rowan
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Mar 2002
                              • 17393

                              #15
                              Makes sense to me but I'm sure that a dedicated bible basher would absolutely rip it apart with a detailed analysis and rebuttal...

                              Comment

                              • DaddyHalbucks
                                A freakin' legend!
                                • Feb 2004
                                • 18975

                                #16
                                11. You don't get any sex, which makes you angry, so you want to stop others from enjoying adult entertainment. Except, if you are a shy pro-family type minister you will have affairs with your parishioners, if you are a Catholic priest you will molest young boys, and if you are Jimmy Swaggart, you will get blowjobs by hookers in your Jaguar.
                                Boner Money

                                Comment

                                • notabook
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Apr 2006
                                  • 9748

                                  #17
                                  Those who deny the great and benevolent flying spaghetti monster shall rot forever, not in an eternal meatball devoid of light or form, but instead a saucepan of inner hatred.


                                  Comment

                                  • -Turk-
                                    I gag on GFY Admin's cock!!!
                                    • Nov 2005
                                    • 350

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by notabook
                                    Those who deny the great and benevolent flying spaghetti monster shall rot forever, not in an eternal meatball devoid of light or form, but instead a saucepan of inner hatred.



                                    now that's erie.

                                    Comment

                                    • notabook
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Apr 2006
                                      • 9748

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by -Turk-
                                      now that's erie.
                                      Let his tentacles fill you up brother. His benevolence shall wash over you if you accept his many noodly appendages within you.

                                      Comment

                                      • -Turk-
                                        I gag on GFY Admin's cock!!!
                                        • Nov 2005
                                        • 350

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by notabook
                                        Let his tentacles fill you up brother. His benevolence shall wash over you if you accept his many noodly appendages within you.
                                        LMAO.

                                        Comment

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