* Ron Paul's tears can shrink government. Too bad he never cries.
* Ron Paul has no alarm clock, but instead wakes every morning to the
* call of freedom.
* Ron Paul blew up both Death Stars, but the media spun the facts
in favor of Luke and Lando.
* Ron Paul is fighting a battle of ideas against unarmed opponents.
* Ron Paul is an anagram for "Our Plan".
* Ron Paul taught Yoda how to use the force.
* Ron Paul doesn't cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.
* Jesus wears a wrist band that says "What Would Ron Paul Do?"
* Ron Paul doesn't sleep. He deliberates.
* Ron Paul got an email telling him he won $475 million in the
Nigerian Lottery, responded, and got his check in two days.
* If Ron Paul had lived in Sparta, the movie would have been called "1".
* Ron Paul doesn't go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.
* The Pentagon once had 6 sides...until Ron Paul got his hands on it.
* Ron Paul has been shot at more than a dozen times, but the
"pro- 2nd Amendment" bullets refuse to harm him.
* Ron Paul took a lie detector test. The lie detector tapped out.
* Ron Paul can fly, but doesn't because its unconsitutional.
* Ron Paul declared war on the war on drugs.
* Ron Paul can turn water into the American Flag.
* Ron Paul wasn't born. He liberated himself from the womb.
* Ron Paul let the dogs out. They were being held without due process.
* Ron Paul knows dozens of words that rhyme with "orange".
* When fascism goes to sleep at night, it checks under the
bed for Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul was the OB that Delivered Chuck Norris.
* Ron Paul can recite pi to 1776 decimal places.
* Chuck Norris was a Liberal until Ron Paul kicked some
sense into him.
* Ron Paul defies the Laws of (Political) Science!
* In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to
scream "RON PAUL!" however, it was changed to just "Freedom!" for legal reasons.
* Hannibal Lecter is not interested in Ron Paul's liver.
He would, however, like to know more about Ron Paul's plan to abolish the IRS.
* Ron Paul hates Raymond.
* ...and on the seventh day, Ron Paul said "I'll take it from here."
* The sun will go blind if it stares at Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul splits atoms....with a butterknife.
* Ron Paul once held a Congressional inquiry regarding the
2000 budget. There were no survivors.
* At sporting events, most people stand during the Star-Spangled Banner. Ron Paul levitates.
* Ron Paul's car doesn't turn left.
* When the Moon looks down at the Earth - the moon sees Ron Paul!
* Ron Paul is the only political virgin in the U.S. Congress;
he's never screwed America.
* Superheroes fantasize about becoming Ron Paul.
* If you spell Ron Paul backwards, you get the Constitution.
* The Ark of the Covenant does not contain the 10 Commandments.
It contains Ron Paul's birth certificate.
* Ron Paul doesn't masturbate, but if he did it would be to
the constitution.
* Ron Paul has no alarm clock, but instead wakes every morning to the
* call of freedom.
* Ron Paul blew up both Death Stars, but the media spun the facts
in favor of Luke and Lando.
* Ron Paul is fighting a battle of ideas against unarmed opponents.
* Ron Paul is an anagram for "Our Plan".
* Ron Paul taught Yoda how to use the force.
* Ron Paul doesn't cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.
* Jesus wears a wrist band that says "What Would Ron Paul Do?"
* Ron Paul doesn't sleep. He deliberates.
* Ron Paul got an email telling him he won $475 million in the
Nigerian Lottery, responded, and got his check in two days.
* If Ron Paul had lived in Sparta, the movie would have been called "1".
* Ron Paul doesn't go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.
* The Pentagon once had 6 sides...until Ron Paul got his hands on it.
* Ron Paul has been shot at more than a dozen times, but the
"pro- 2nd Amendment" bullets refuse to harm him.
* Ron Paul took a lie detector test. The lie detector tapped out.
* Ron Paul can fly, but doesn't because its unconsitutional.
* Ron Paul declared war on the war on drugs.
* Ron Paul can turn water into the American Flag.
* Ron Paul wasn't born. He liberated himself from the womb.
* Ron Paul let the dogs out. They were being held without due process.
* Ron Paul knows dozens of words that rhyme with "orange".
* When fascism goes to sleep at night, it checks under the
bed for Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul was the OB that Delivered Chuck Norris.
* Ron Paul can recite pi to 1776 decimal places.
* Chuck Norris was a Liberal until Ron Paul kicked some
sense into him.
* Ron Paul defies the Laws of (Political) Science!
* In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to
scream "RON PAUL!" however, it was changed to just "Freedom!" for legal reasons.
* Hannibal Lecter is not interested in Ron Paul's liver.
He would, however, like to know more about Ron Paul's plan to abolish the IRS.
* Ron Paul hates Raymond.
* ...and on the seventh day, Ron Paul said "I'll take it from here."
* The sun will go blind if it stares at Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul splits atoms....with a butterknife.
* Ron Paul once held a Congressional inquiry regarding the
2000 budget. There were no survivors.
* At sporting events, most people stand during the Star-Spangled Banner. Ron Paul levitates.
* Ron Paul's car doesn't turn left.
* When the Moon looks down at the Earth - the moon sees Ron Paul!
* Ron Paul is the only political virgin in the U.S. Congress;
he's never screwed America.
* Superheroes fantasize about becoming Ron Paul.
* If you spell Ron Paul backwards, you get the Constitution.
* The Ark of the Covenant does not contain the 10 Commandments.
It contains Ron Paul's birth certificate.
* Ron Paul doesn't masturbate, but if he did it would be to
the constitution.
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