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redtext

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#1

Today's Competition!

10-31-2001, 02:37 AM

Here's today's competition. You must be an adult webmaster to enter. Winner gets 2,500 free ads at RedText (what did you expect? diamonds?!).

To enter simply post a reply. The winner is the webmaster who can suggest:

THE MOST IMAGINATIVE STRATEGY FOR SHAGGING A PORN STAR WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY.

("shag" = "fuck" ["England and America: 2 countries divided by a common language" as...erm...someone famous once said)

Result announced by an unashamedly partial panel of judges 24 hours from NOW!!

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[This message has been edited by redtext (edited 10-31-2001).]
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Rocky

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#2

10-31-2001, 02:48 AM

tell the porn star that you are having your dick plaster casted for a new dildo that will be featured at all of the sex toy stores

when the new product hits the store there will be a give-a-way with each purchase

that being a plastic vagina of (insert porn stars name here) and in order for the shop owners to demonstrate the products, they want to make sure that the plastic cock fits perfectly into the plastic vagina

sooooooooo, i would then ask the porn star if i could stick my dick into her mashed potatos just to make sure the fit will be snug

Are you down with Sin?
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redtext

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#3

10-31-2001, 02:55 AM

Rocky, a great start!! You currently lead a strong field of..erm...one.

MORE PLEASE!

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NickB.

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#4

10-31-2001, 03:04 AM

Hi, My name is Nick

I'm the new producer of this new movie called: " Fuck 4 Fun " , I'm also recruting models!

Are you a pornstar? well.. Do you Fuck 4 fun?
Yes? well......show me!
No? So you don't fuck 4 fun? only 4 money?
No roleplay for you!
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redtext

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#5

10-31-2001, 03:38 AM

Come along, Nick. Get into the spirit of things. Anyone can BE a pornstar (especially blokes by the look of most of them). We just want to know how to shag them (birds, not blokes) without any mention of money.

The panel of judges is please to indicate that Mr Rocky is way ahead of a frankly weak field.

Come on chaps! You're letting the webmaster community down badly.

Regards

REDTEXT
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funkmaster

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#6

10-31-2001, 03:39 AM

... tell em you´ll pay ... and than run away, works great with cabs, so why shouldn´t it work here ??

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evildick
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#7

10-31-2001, 04:53 AM

In my case I'd have to tell her that I was sent here to finish the scenes she started with Ron Jeremy the other week, since some of the footage was lost and Ron was unable to do a reshoot due to his prior commitments for the new Kid Rock video.

If she said she didn't do a shoot with Ron Jeremy last week, I'd say "Oh, it must have been the one before that." (They have all slept with Ron at one time or another, so I think I could bullshit my way through this.)

I'd have a camera set up in the back of my Cordoba, with the fine Corinthian leather seats. That is where the deal would go down.

Since I'm about as attractive as Ron Jeremy, I think it might work.

When she looks at my cock and realizes it's no where near Ron's 10 inches or so, I'd just say, "Hey babe, everything is done with computers these days. Now hurry up and get those clothes off... they ain't payin' me by the hour here."
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redtext

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#8

10-31-2001, 05:05 AM

An Evil Plan, Evildick!
Keep them coming. Remember, 2,500 ads are at stake here, chaps!

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mailman

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#9

10-31-2001, 05:21 AM

I would tell the pornstar that i am an adult webmaster who promotes her site...I have used ALL of her content and need fresh stuff immidetly...so i got my photographer here so ""FUCK ME"" cuse you fuck me you canmake more money it is like doing a porno and getting paid

OKI I WIN now what the fuck is your site???
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onlyreal

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#10

10-31-2001, 05:24 AM

i
think you must win

Originally posted by funkmaster:
... tell em you´ll pay ... and than run away, works great with cabs, so why shouldn´t it work here ??

[This message has been edited by onlyreal (edited 10-31-2001).]
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Phiber

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#11

10-31-2001, 06:05 AM

I won the redtext competition.

That would do it.

Once again do I wear my golden pilot shades and the gold chains.
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^R3K^

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#12

10-31-2001, 06:13 AM

I Just Tell Them Im Lensman From GFY and That Normaly Works Wonders :-)

But If That Doesnt Work I Tell Them That im A TAllent Scout For Antonio Ferrari Modeling Agency The True Backer Behing Playboy, Hustler, And Palmolive Dish Detergent, And I Am Looking For A Model To Market The Darkside Of Palmolive In The Bedroom. And That We Are Planing On Dumping All The Advertising Resources Into The Ads For The New Project. Also That The Spokesperson For This Would Have To Be Versitile In All Areas Of Adult Entertainment. They Normaly Have There Panties Down From Here On Out So No Need To Continue.

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12clicks

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#13

10-31-2001, 06:23 AM

tell them if they fuck you, you'll introduce them to me.

I'm not a dinosaur, I'm a crocodile. I've seen dinosaurs come and go and I'm left unimpressed.
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redtext

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#14

10-31-2001, 07:58 AM

I am both flabbergasted and incredibly impressed by the array of conniving schemes you are able to come up with just to convince a whory old slap to bed you. I can assure you that I and our panel of eminent judges are having a tough old time of it here.

However, remember there's still about 18 hours left of competition left and the winning entry might still be out there! The glittering http://www.RedText.com prize could still be yours...

Regards
RedText

P.S. Don't miss The Incredible Lady Camilla Pube-Floss Auction which will be posted after this competition finishes tomorrow.

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boneprone

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#15

10-31-2001, 10:31 AM

Tell them you are part of the family, and if they want in they need to boneprone ya.

Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones
Bow to the Power - Still BP4L
http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame
Learn about it kids.
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redtext

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#16

11-01-2001, 12:09 AM

We have a WINNER!!

Sensationally, it was our very first entry, the fastest off the starting blocks....ROCKY!!

Congratulations to Rocky who receives 2,500 www.RedText.com ads.

Commiserations to the losers. But don't despair. Look out for The Incredible Lady Camilla Pube-Floss Auction coming soon!!

Regards

REDTEXT

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kmanrox

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#17

11-01-2001, 12:41 AM

so i gess my late submission doesnt count, but waht if you tie her up with ropes, gag her and take her to a warehouse?

shrug

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brimix

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#18

11-01-2001, 03:49 AM

Well I'll suggest to the pornstar..
hei! you'll just make love with me! not just sex you know?!? Of course you could fuck me for free against any payment!!!

Just leave the dimension of my dick, close your eyes, and open up your legs!

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With best regards,

Brimix
Icq 117027210
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With best regards,

Brimix
Icq 117027210
[email protected]
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Rocky

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#19

11-01-2001, 10:22 AM

you like me, you really like me

i would like to thank the following people for helping me win this award

amputate - ghost writer
12clicks - clothing designer
boneprone - catering (specializing in Almond Rocca, popcorn and blackberries)
gary - animal wrangler
kimmykim - agent (and for the use of her casting couch)

and last but not least, God (and you know who you are lensman)

thank you

*wiping tears from my eyes*

Are you down with Sin?
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Cheshire

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#20

11-01-2001, 01:37 PM

Surefire way to shag a pornstar...

Tell them you're Lensman.

[This message has been edited by Cheshire (edited 11-01-2001).]

just a little bit naughty
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