Ever wanted to give somebody the crabs intentionally?

"We can custom breed aggressive species Inquire Today!"

crabs are real? thought it was urban legend

GOLD:
NEW! We now are able to offer a limited supply of Shampoo-Resistant Crabs! These guys can still be killed using the traditional methods, but instead of two shampoo treatments and two washings of everything the victim owns, this particular crop can take as much as 10-days to kill off, even by the most diligent shampooing scrubber. We’ve bred them specially in our lab, and we are glad, proud and confident in our ability to guarantee that anything but a 100% coverage of delousing solution will simply not kill them off. Ships with detailed instructions, one 10-ounce bottle of delousing shampoo (in case you accidentally get some on yourself,) and all yours for the low cost of just $298 plus shipping (plus sales tax in New York only.)

Testimonial
“I’m a shaver so I never thought I’d get crabs. My ex still seeded my bed, and he got me good because my other boyfriend caught them instead of me. I was so embarrassed.” Jessica R. Hilldale, CA

hahaha, legendary