Quote:
Originally Posted by BucksMania
help the mother of your son, or your son may hate you later
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I think there is truth in this post.
You seem like a very thoughtful person, and I applaud you for trying to look at the big picture instead of thinking how to get back at an ex.
Whether or not he wants to walk across the road right now to see her, she is still your son's mother. The way he views the world will change, and he's watching you right now for clues on how to be a man. He'll remember how this plays out.
My suggestion would be to figure out what you can do for her $$$ wise, and then first sit your son down and talk to him. He's 14, he can handle hearing what you've got to say. Speak to him of your desire to help his mother so that she can be a stronger, more stable mother. Assure him that that doesn't mean he has to go back to her to live. You can fight custody down the road if you feel you should. But having her so unsettled is not good for your son, even if he doesn't realize it.
Then sit her down, and explain to her that as a one time deal, you are going to do xyz for her. Let her know the reason you are doing it...for your son. No need to go there in terms of what it was like for you after your divorce, imho.
Anyhow, that is my .02, and it will probably not be a popular view.
But I cut the munchkin's loser ass dad a lot of slack because he is his dad, and I will never be able to seperate that. I don't do it for him, I wouldn't do anything for him on his own merit.
But I sure will for my son.
Best of luck!