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here, check it out... kids today have FAR too much percieved power over their parents. As I deal with my 14yr old son, I have come to the realization that for someone who knows everything - he dont know jack shit. Being angry about todays teens acting like todays teens, is just a waste of time and will drive you crazy.
What I've found to work - is laying down the law with swift and harsh consequences (and no I dont beat my kids, as much as I would like to sometimes). I just apply the golden rule - as in he/she who has the gold - makes all the rules. So, since I provide everything (food, clothing, home, etc.) i get to dictate what he does. If he doesn't abide then he looses his stuff - to the extent that he is left with one set of clothing that he must wash every day, a sleeping bag and a pillow on the floor of his totally empty room and cheese sandwiches for all three meals. If he don't like it - then he is more than welcome to get a job and find his own apartment. Then he can do whatever he wants. I even take away the stuff that I didn't provide (ie gifts) because since it is my house I get to say what is in it. If he wants to let it sit outside on the street - then he can have it.
It's going to be rough. He will throw a fit. He will even rebel more - but you can't give in and must remain firm in what you dish out as punnishment and set as rules to be followed.
I've seen news stories of parents making their kids stand on a street corner with a sign around their neck with the stupid thing they've done. Embarrasment works too. I'm saving that one for something really stupid.
Anyhow - best of luck to you, I know how tough it can be - but you have to have the resolve to be harsh.
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