Ambush Interview #89 CuriousToyBoy

BANZAI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Anyone got the photoshopped one with the beer hats and Jaeger bombs ?

I got a hug from lindsay... I was terrified at first, but now I really enjoy it

Jimmy,

Takes a top bloke to know a top bloke mate.

Insert bad Val Kilmer accent here
You can be my wingman anytime



Mate, you beautiful girls and the amazing Lee are a testiment to you as man, as a Dad and as a human being.

You are surely one of the rare ones, and my life is such a better thing for having you in it.

Go you good thing !

Ahermm

Question 14......

Ahermm

I am proud to be the father of the Fleshlight King.

im looking forward to this one!

He he he

I ***LOVE*** being underestimated and sometimes will go out of my way to be judged so...

Looking forward to that beer or 300 oon enough buddy.

i fuggured the moose needed a beer after that

Old Man ?

Stamina ?

Let's just see if your ABLE to say your own name by the end of Friday night.

He he he he

REMEMBER:
Age and cunning shits all over youth and skill

Seriously Brettski... thanks mate for all your efforts getting the Seattle Bash organzied mate ! Truly appreciated.

Means a Lot Caz, really does mate.

That someone who spoke to you OBVIOUSLY speaks from knowing me well....

Anyone who knows me knows to well that I do not start fights.....

I FINISH THEM.

Baby Raja won't mind.

What with his new Formula One Golf Cart driving career in the offing....



Sell my sperm?

Darlin', if I didn't love Raja so much I'd give to you.

Personal delivery.

Holy fuck Mark !!!

Wasn't that a hoot !



And thanks for being nice, but I got you 6 floors, before the overindulgence in Columbian snowflakes kicked in and my heart felt like it was going to exlode out of my chest !!!

And the the asshole who took you the last floor just threw you over his shoulder !!!

At least I carried you like a gentleman !!!



You are a fucking nice guy mate, I **always** love seeing you, and you can depend on me to carry you up anyflights of stairs, any time.

Mwah.

xoxox

Oh fuck !!!

Man, that is one of the funniest times.

I kicked Chad out of the room at 9.30am (very considerate) as I had one of the K5 girls giving me a freebie after she finished work.

Chad was unhappy. I did not give a shit, I was getting some free.

2 nights later, Chad wakes me up, 1.30am in the morning (yes, I know EARLY for ToyBoy but I was rather ill actually).

ToyBoy was NOT HAPPY AT ALL.

I was screaming and yelling and throwing shit and grabbed a doon and pillow and headed for the door to go sleep in the lounge of the suite apartment we were in.

As I barged out the door, there was this overdressed rentboy, Chad's little toy for the evening.

He looked at me as I charged by and his eyes said just one thing to me.....

Oh my, the husband's not happy

No shit. What was the post number where the questions were answered, I cant seem to find it.

I dont know any of you very well, but all the pics in this thread sure say that CTB knows how to throw one helluva party.

Well considering I made it... I should have it somewhere...

Great interview man... you are one crazy fucker with a very smart business mind

Angus,

How dare you ring my mother and get my elementary school photos !

Lindsey, I'm so happy to learn more about my favorite Aussie, your interview kicks ass! I'm so glad that we've had the chance to become friends... you truly bring so much joy to the lives of so many! Thank you!

Must be soon Craig !!

Been too long between drinks ! (literally for you and I)

Derek (MrSkin identifed my drinking capability in http://www.AdultWhosWho.com as "UnStoppable".

http://www.adultwhoswho.com/person.html?id=00003

I think I love you Odie.

Question # 15

15. How much money do you spend on strip clubs?

Owning them or partying in them ?



I bought into another one just before Christmas (BIG fucking mistake) and it was open for ONE WHOLE DAY before I sold the fuck out.

I should learn to trust my instincts when it comes to business partners.. the only way I could have stayed around was to run the fucking thing myself, and I am SOOOOOOOO over that shit.



When it comes to partying in them, I am someone who does do the lap dance things (boring !!), unless I feel like it and I start GIVING lapdances...... to the girls and whoever else may be unfortunate enough tio be around !!!!!

But I ALWAYS like to see my friends enjoy themselves, I drink like a fucking fish (and a big one) and I get the girls, and all the club staff as drunk as possible on shots and shit so EVERYONE is going off. In this type of thing, I am generous to a fault.

I threw a private bash at K5 in Prague during AOE last year, when the manager my mate Steve gave us a floor/bar area to ourselves, for a select group of friends in the biz.... Dodger (Steve), Josh & Norty from MyVirtualCard, Michael from Newbie Nudes, Adrian from CCBillEU and about half dozen (sorry, mental blank right this minute) others (BT and friends turned up late)... we picked like 15 girls from upstairs and partied like crazy fucks - stripped, sex on stage, simulated man love, whipped cream and shit, all the guys in their underwear and the girls with little until literally daybreak. I got back to the hotel at like 9am, with 2 girls in tow after their shift had finished. Adrian kindly kicked the can (that's just the way he is, and usually I would have not let him, but he is a rich little fuck outside of the biz.. he he.. love you dude), but my share was still like $3000.

That's just me.

And it also shows that I do the mad shit I do in public in private as well ... we enforced the strict "no cameras" rulke because of the marital status of some of the attendees.

Question # 16

16. What the hell is rugby? What the hell is American Gridiron?

Rugby LEAGUE son, the greatest game of all.....

An old aussie song ......

Whether you're on the cricket ground, lang park or the bush.

You still gotta run, you still gotta tackle,

And the scrums have got the same push,

Ummmpppphhhh

You're playing Rugby League football,

The greatest game of all.

I played rugby league from 8 years old to 18 years old.

Enjoyed it immensely, but repeated shoulder dislocations meant I had to take a year off, or have a reconstruction, which then, 21 years ago, was not a walk in the park like today, so I took a year off.

Or so I thought.

3 months into football season, I was GAGGING for it.

And then came my excuse.. a story in the Daily Paper about a guy who wanted to start an American Gridiron competition.

I had seen 2-3 Superbowls on TV (and that was IT), so I considered myself a somewhat expert and just KNEW that I could not possible hurt my shoulder in all those pads, and I rang the guy.

8 weeks later the first ever American Football game was held here.

WITH NO PADS AT ALL !!!

We played the first season, 4 teams, round robin, and never so much as wore a shin pad.

FULL contact.

CRAZY AUSSIES......

I played fullback and middle linebacker.

I dislocated my shoulder 3 times again in that season, but I was firmly hooked.

Played on and off for 7 more years as a linebacker (middle if I was fat and unfit, outside if was cut and firing) until my shoulder finally packed it in and off to the Orthopaedic Surgeon's knife I went.

I played in the first ever Queensland and Australian teams, as first string linebacker and defensive captain, and won the first ever South Pacific Championship, played in Auckland in 1991.

In my first season not playing I coached juniors (like your high school junior varsity/varsity in combination), and defensive coached the State Junior team to the first ever junior national title.

Good memeories, all those.

Well, not the surgery :-)

You should have been a rugby league ref too - running a junior centre or a senior line payed even better money than a cricket umpire

Question # 17

17. Why did people call you 'the pale whale'?

People DON'T call me the pale whale.

Many, many moons ago, some silly, misguided fools DID call me that.

Usually from 100 yards away, running as fast as they could to get further away.

Through primary and then into high school, I was a state level swimmer on and off.

In my senior year at high school, I was the school senior swimming champion.

Hence pale whale.

I would remind GFY'ers that there is a standard Surgeon General's Health Warning issued as to the potential physical harm one may expose themselves to if they call CuriousToyBoy the pal whale.

I just icqed eric askin him to change your GFY name to "thePaleWhale" for the rest of your ambush


moooohahahahahahahahahahahaha

hey - my life insurance is up to date.....

I'm sorry honey...but as much as I love you...I'm gonna have to kick you in the shins next week....you will do NO such thing.

You're a brave, brave man..............its been nice knowin ya

haha. great interview so far.

Ahh... I didn't really do anything for the event. I know our crowd/city and so I just set times and locations. Jared was the one making sure to bump the party thread and get the word out.

It will be interesting to see you go head to head with Lindsay....I've seen you drink, Brett...you're no slouch....WHAT happens if anyone pokes your liver?

if they squeeze me the next day ... i'll probably get drunk again. If they lacerate it ... we might be able to put a spiget on it and have people hit it ! ;)

He's got me on size and expierence ... plus it's his day ... so people will be throwing him drinks the whole time ... and then somebody needs to remain sober enough to tell our version of the story to the police ... but if it weren't for all of that ... yeh I think I could probably take him ;)

Fuck mate, I ain't even half way through the REAl questions yet !!!

But you do have an unacnny knack for picking soem of the more "eventful" moments... and this is worth a re-tell.....

For those of you who came in late, I lived in the Philippines for 6 months in 2005 (NOT Thailnd Stef, but same shit, different day really).

None of this Makati City, Manila shit for me (no offence, Dee, Rick, Nick et al), but I didn't want some sugar coated experience like some webmasters who post pics of their room on the 27th floor of some hotel in Makati as part of their "3rd World Adventure".....

So off I went to Angeles City, 2 1/2 hours north of Manila, and the Wild fucking west.

Now, I am twice the height and 5 times the size of the average Filipino, and I am 20 years younger and MUCH better looking than the average expat or tourist.

I also foolishly bought into a girlie bar, which was a huge mistake, and one I rectified not more than 6 weeks after by selling my share to the next unsuspecting hero.

I had a house in a sub-division, and that was a trike ride from where the party was at on Fields Avenue that cost like 100 pesos.

I always gave the regular drivers that I knew 150, just to be a nice guy.

Anyway, this one morning, daylight, I staggered out of a friends bar at the tail end of a particularly nasty 3 day/night benderb and jumped into the nearest trike. It was a driver I knew and I just said takme home please - he knew where to go without me saying shit.

We got to my place and I was fishing in my pocket for some change when the little fuck said, "NO, today 500".

What ?

"500 peso"

Fuck of you stinking monkey hahahaha, it is ALWAYS 100 and I ALWAYS give you 150.

"NO NO NO, 500 pesos"

"Well you can get fucked, I'm not paying you a dime"

To whit, I got out, opened the door lock on my 10 foot razor wire topped cast iron gate and slammed it behind me.

I dunno whether it was 5 or 55 minutes later, but Danny came in and woke me by shaking the shit out of me.

"You'd better come outside real quick".

I sort of wobbled outside after him and he opened the peeker in the gate door and pointed to it.

Well I'll be fucked if there wasn't like 10 of the little bastards and a bunch of trikes and these guys with bolos (machete knives) and lumps of wood were all tring to climb trees toi get over the 10 foot razor wire topped brick wall.

Now I till had on my shirt and jeans and my socks, obviously I had fallen asleep with them all still on, which made sense, because I was still trashed.

I started to take my cloithes off and handed them to Danny. He looked at me funny and said, "What the..", I said, "Just shut up and hold my clothes will ya". The ground in Angeles City is still 80% compacted volcanic dust from the Mt Pinatubo eruption in the early 90's, I did not want them dirty.

So I gave Danny my underwear and then picked up a half-assed stick I saw on the ground.. it was a banana tree limb, so it was weak as piss.

I went to the door at the gate.. counted to 3 and then threw the door open, and then, completely naked armed with my trusty stick, I ran outside, screaming gibberish at the top of my lungs, chasing every random Filipinno I could see, MADLY swinging the stick around.

You have NEVER seen a bunch of people and trikes move so quickly, I sconed a couple (not hard, but hard enough), and they were all yellimng and screaming and running away and kick starting trikes and riding off at full speed.

It took about 4 minutes from whoa to go, but at that time, I was nakd in the middle of the street, with my stick and there ws not a monkey to be seen, even my neighbours went inot hiding.

I walked back inside handed Danny the stick, took my clothes and went to bed, where I slept for 2 days.

Before that incident, I was know as Big Kalbo, kalbo being the Tagalog word for bald guy. After that it was Big Crazy Kalbo.

And no trike driver EVER gave me so much as a sideways look ever again.

I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself, I would of felt really bad. Thanks for being a gentlemen.

Thanks for the compliments. I always enjoy seeing you and Tim too, you guys are awesome. I remembered when I first met Tim he liplocked me, he is so trashed. It was quite funny. He felt really bad and gave me some sweets from Australia the next day. I look forward to seeing you guys in Vegas and Florida.

Mark

YARGH!

Not a bad bloke yourself Chio !

Back to reading?

Fuck, back to writing for me, I'm not halfway through yet !!!!

Sleazy will be having a pup !

But he will give 36 searching questions that deserve searching answers !

Don't really care, but I hope people don;t mind the length of some answers - a story worth telling is worth telling well !!

Sheesh brother, worry about your own backyard.

I'll happily be happily me if you don't mind. I may lose weight, I may not, I may put weight on, makes shit all difference to who is me.

Think about these maxims for life...

***************

There is absolutely NO evidence that life should be taken seriously

***************

You do NOT die from the first heart attack, you die worrying about the 2nd one

***************

EVERYTING in moderation, INCLUDING moderation

***************

If you don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs and don't eat bad fatty food, you WILL NOT actually live longer, it will just SEEM like you do.

Anthony, right back at you sunshine

But I call it the 1.4 degress of separation.

Mahal Kita Pare!

BAS mate ! My favorite gun-toting Dutchman !!!

Ooops, sorry mate, did you say not to say anything about you and guns ?

Fuck mate, sorry.

So I suppose I shouldn' say something like "If BAS walked into a room with an Uzi an started shooting the place up, just stand still and you will perfectly safe" should I ?

It's OK mate, I won't say it !!

Errrr.. did I think that oir just say it ?????????????????????????

FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-Ho... damdn GFY edit rule.

Shut the fuck up will ya Roger !!!

Don't be telling peeps things like that, I' ve spent years carefully grooming my reputation as a mongrel dog hard man.



SO how is life in the Costa Rican sun ?

Mate,

Good peeps like you make having fun easy and an absolute joy.

Looking forward nto doing some real business together over some real pleasurable times in Toronto dude.

Coming from another of those "characters" I take that as huge hug and kiss Rainey !!

Thanks babe ;-)

300.........

Look forward to exhausting physical repesentations of that love next week in Toronto baby doll ......

xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Ok.

Stop it.

I am now officially getting all hard in the wee wee.

Holy fuck !!!

Lisa, if you walk into the room and walk straight and me with Jordan or Taylor holding your hand with you both looking at me, I promise you I will instantly come in my pants.

Twice.

Sean needs a caption badly .........

Now I've known Lars for years and he is mad, but this guy is just fucking ridiculous

THE 2008 PHOENIX FORUM DODGEBALL CHAMPIONS

H ah ah ah ah

OF COURSE !!

Airek is wearing his "Bedrock" hat.

That was the bar I part owned in Angeles City, brought that over to 2004 Forum as a prezzie for a few select peeps.

Wooooooffff.

Ha ha ha ha ha

Yes Bradley.

LionDollars does rather, doesn't it.

Can't do that !

Last time at Rehab up there in Washington with Raven and the rest of my 2nd family, she decided I needed to clean my act up a bit and buy some good (better) clothes and be a bit more "Stylish".

The word "Stylish" to me, does not mean "Meterosexual", it more means "Brad Mitchellual"



So we went shopping.

My stylist did an excellent job !

WATCH OUT TORONTO !!!

There will still be my standard shirts and jeans, but note some of the subtle changes during the show.