I think I'm addicted to Craigslist.....making my 8th purchase in 4 days....

isnt it a pain to have to go there and pick it up?

Looking for GFE's

lol that's funny.
i go there all the time to look at the pets and jewelry.
i also must admit i look at the m4m pics...they're HOT!

i agree their selection of prostitutes is unbeatable

actually you meet some very interesting people - including the hot asian babe last night

(unfortunatly I only picked up an office chair and not a hand job )

I get my Cuban cigars from there

Craigslist can have pretty good deals

its one of my favorite sites

fuck, I just went and picked up another office chair....this is getting out of control

Just be careful when dealing with this guy...

That cinder block advertisement is hillarious!

Brad

that is priceless

For free good laughs check out the best of craigs list

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

This is the funniest one I have read so far from
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

---------------------------------

You probably cant handle the truth
Date: 2006-10-03, 7:06PM EDT


I have been dating for almost two years now and ive finally decided to post everything about myself upfront to save the both of us time and aggravation. Normally you would find out in due time what i am about to tell you about myself, but i dont have the energy to go through all the dates, bonding and heartache of you leaving when you find out what i am truly like. SO here goes.

I am 28, intellegent and have been told by many that i am beautiful. I own my own home, i am employed and independant. I consider myself to be very easy going, i love to laugh and im not materalistic. I love to cook, i enjoy camping, photography, gardeneing and history. I love music, mostly classic rock. I play the acoustic gutiar, i love doing laundry, i have 5 cats which i love to death and i do a dead on impersination of Cartman fron South Park.

Behind closed doors, there is another side to me that many dont get to see. I do have some habits and traits that are unnattractive. Here they are in no particular order.

-When i fart, ill bend over so i can smell it. I will usually take 2 or 3 smells as i like the smell of my farts.

-when i scratch my ass, i smell my finger

-Sometimes, no matter how much i wipe my ass, i still get skid marks in my thong or panties.

-i pick my nose and eat it.

-i have gone up to a month without brushing my teeth.

-i have usually wear the same pair of panties for several days until they are crusted yellow in the crotch and they smell like ammonia.

-I shower about once a week.(unless im working or have a date)

- i let a dog lick my pussy once.

-if i drop food on the floor, ill pick it up and eat it. I have also taken food out of my trash can and eaten it.

-I used to use my ex roomates vibrator.
-I had head lice for seven years and did nothing about it.
-When i floss my teeth or pop zits, ill smell what came out.

-I like to eat the fat from meat(i.e. steak fat, roast beef fat ect.) I also will eat the grisle and soft bones.

- when i masterbate, i like to call myself a dirty slut out loud and i shove a tooth brush down my throat to make myself gag while i climax.

-When i havent showered for a week, my arm pits stink like cheeseburgers, and my crotch smells like ammonia,urine and funk.

-i usually dont wipe myself after i piss, which is probably the reason why my crotch smells the way i said above. Its probably why i end up with diaper rash between my legs.

- i have an obsession with popping zits. i will for hours sit naked infront of a mirror and search my entire body for a zit to pop. And yours too.

-I also have terrible acne on my ass

- I lie. Alot. About everything.

-Im a hypocrite. I will persicute others for something that i secretly do myself.

-I have no guilty consious.

-I am evil. If you do something to harm me, or even just piss me off, i will do whatever i can to make you miserable. I will stoop to the lowest levels. I will even resort to illegal activities to fuck someone over.

-I am twofaced. I will greet you with open arms, and when you walk away, ill tell everyone still standing there that deep dark secret you were stupid enough to share with me.

-I have no shame. I would fuck someone in my parents bed, i would snoop through someone elses stuff, i would pick my nose and wipe it on your pillow, i would keep your wallet if i found your purse, i would promise to drive you to see your dying mother and then not show so i could catch an episode of prison break, then lie to you and say my car broke down.

- Ill sleep with anyone, and on the first date.

-Ill make a promise with no intention of keeping it.

So, thats me, in a nutshell. The good, the bad and the ugly. But you know what? I make a mean Spaghetti Sauce.



* this is in or around In my own private hell
* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 215682174

Copyright © 2008 craigslist, inc. terms of use privacy policy feedback forum

I am banned for life from craigslist

To the stupid bitches at Walmart that assumed I stole their phone
Date: 2008-04-13, 2:47PM EDT


You know who you are. You and your skanky friend entered the ladies room at Walmart, apparently looking for a cellphone you lost because you're a moron. I washed my hands, and upon exiting the restroom I said, "Excuse me," since you clearly had no intention of moving your fat ass out of the doorway.

I proceeded to look at some shirts in the womens' department, when suddenly you two white trash tramps came RIGHT over and stood oh, maybe, 3 feet away from me, glaring. The porkier one of you two (the one with the mustache) then took out your cellphone and obviously dialed the lost one's number in hopes that suddenly my bag would ring your familiar ringtone- probably Shakira or Lil Kim. I couldn't believe you had the audacity to be such stupid hos. Not only did you make no attempt to be discreet, but you were blatantly rude and insulting.

Why the fuck would I want your cellphone? I'm all set with 19yr old punks calling me for blowjobs. I also don't have any interest in receiving phone calls from probation officers or Planned Parenthood. If I did find a cheap-ass phone probably in a pink case, covered in stickers- there's a damn good chance I'd return it to the "Lost And Found," assuming I'd even give a shit enough to do that. I'm sure that's a far-fetched concept to you, considering if it were the other way around, you'd probably pawn a lost phone as fast as you'd jerk off a homeless guy that offered you a cigarette.

Next time you immediately jump to conclusions because of your own stupidity, go back and check the aisle with vaginal cream and douches first; you probably left your phone there. You must have found it shortly after, because you were no longer up my ass, skanking up my personal space. Either that, or the dollar store was having one hell of a sale that you couldn't pass up.

Screw you both.

Thats fucking awesome Craigslist rocks!

Agreed. Rarely do I actually laugh from text, and this was one of those rare times.

Simply priceless.

The part that got me really laughing was, "If I knew how to do masonry..." hahahaha...perfect!

lmao I'm a little leary with the cops posting on there

craigslist is great

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/518589816.html

Hmmm, think this is about our community?

Dear Internet Porn
Date: 2007-12-24, 10:54AM PST

Dear Internet Porn,

These last ten years have been quite a trip, have they not? My letter to you now, however, is not one of celebration... I don't feel like we are the same anymore. We just don't have that passion we used to.

When we first met I was a loser, and you were there for me. My parents told me that you were no good for me, but I didn't listen. You showed me that there were plenty of people like myself getting laid. It was beautiful and passionate. Your softcore erotic videos were a tasteful introduction to my budding sexuality.

As I got older I started seeing girls on the side. I knew you were jealous, but you have always held a special place in my heart. You became naughtier and it affected my relationships. I started wanting all the things I had seen you do. I wanted to be just like you. I wanted to cover my girlfriend's face, put it up her ass, choke her.

But that's when I realized your dark secret, Internet Porn. You aren't real: you are a fake and shallow individual. No girl wants a load on her face! Anal sex hurts and humiliates, and choking only leads to bruises that friends and loved ones ask about. You lied to me and changed my sexual expectations. Now no girl can please me.

I know it isn't all bad. You've taught me so much. I can surf the internet with either hand and I know all the keyboard shortcuts for my browser. I know positions that aren't even in the Kamasutra. But you have such a dark side. I've been late for work more than once and I find myself wanting to jerkoff at six in the morning. That's what you've done to me.

Even now, on the eve of Christ's birth, I sit hunched over my computer, penis in hand. I had to turn the nativity scene around so that Jesus wouldn't see your filth. Try as I might, I can never hide you well enough either. It is harder to find you squirreled away on my hard drive than it is to get into my online bank account. Yet there is always lingering evidence. I've told you time and again to stop leaving your things at my place. But you ALWAYS forget something: a shortcut here, an unclear history there.

There's no acceptance when you are discovered either. It might have been ok when we started - just innocent flirting with softcore. But now my girlfriends discover my asphyxiation collection, or that one goat video. I hate that you always invite your shadiest friends over when you come.

So I have one request. I know I can't get rid of you... you are the psychopathic stalker to my teenage horror film. But if you won't leave me alone, can you at least do me one favor? If I ever die, can you please format my hard drive? All of them? If you can't do that, just burn my place down. My family can never know of my shame.

- Your shamed lover