Squishy

I have an ISSUE. I've been flirting with this girl at work who is Ukrainian and it's been fun and whatnot. But I gave her my cell number just to keep things moving, and 10 minutes after I left the building early for lunch she called me. But like, nothing to actually say just calling for the sake of calling. I hate women who do this. So I pretend to run out of battery and hang up. 20 minutes later the phone rings again. She has her number on PRIVATE so I can't tell if its her or not and I've been waiting on a call back for a new job so I have to answer it.

"Hello Joel speaking?"
"Joel... it's me"
"Yes hello"
"... what are you doing"

It was a mix of anger and frustration that just made me blurt out "I'm burying the skull of a Costa Rican hooker I just banged". Chick didn't believe me and hung up. Then a friend rang me and said that she had told everyone at the office that we were a thing and I was lying to her. So I did what anyone would do, I killed a Costa Rican hooker, put some old semen I had lying around in her skull and brought it to work and threw it on her desk and said "THERE, I'M NOT LYING".

"Then why isn't it buried?"

And she had me.

That's when I learned what love was.