Things you learn from watching porn

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  • bashbug
    Confirmed User
    • Oct 2005
    • 929

    #1

    Things you learn from watching porn

    Women wear high heels to bed.

    Men are never impotent.

    When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

    If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.

    Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

    Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

    Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

    Women always orgasm when men do.

    A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

    All women are noisy fucks.

    People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

    Those tits are real.

    A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

    Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
    If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

    Double penetration makes women smile.

    Asian men don't exist.

    If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

    There's a plot.

    When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

    Nurses suck patients cocks.

    Men always pull out.

    When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.

    Women never have headaches.

    When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'

    Assholes are clean.

    A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

    Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

    Men don't have to beg.

    When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

    Pigtails = handlebars.

  • firecracker
    Confirmed User
    • Nov 2007
    • 653

    #2
    I love this post, made me laugh!
    When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.

    Comment

    • AdPatron
      No commissions, no fees.
      • Apr 2003
      • 17706

      #3
      HAHA that was great!! Thanks! Looks like you have done your research! lol

      Comment

      • yuu.design
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Mar 2006
        • 25924

        #4
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        Comment

        • Elli
          Reach for those stars!
          • Apr 2003
          • 17991

          #5
          "Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there. "

          So very, very true!
          email: [email protected]

          Comment

          • Jens Van Assterdam
            The Dupre Pimp
            • Feb 2008
            • 6677

            #6
            Assholes are clean.
            Read TOS for signature rules

            Comment

            • munki
              Do Fun Shit.
              • Dec 2004
              • 13393

              #7

              I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

              Comment

              • Kard63
                Confirmed User
                • Nov 2003
                • 8944

                #8
                At least half of those are true in my world. Damn, this thread made me feel good about life.

                Comment

                • Xniphobe
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 295

                  #9
                  You had to watch porn to learn all of that??? Pshhh...I've always known that stuff...chalk it up to good instincts I guess

                  Comment

                  • lbc213
                    Confirmed User
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 2673

                    #10
                    LOL, quality post.

                    Comment

                    • Gary_TLX
                      Confirmed User
                      • Feb 2006
                      • 776

                      #11
                      So true!
                      Quality custom exclusive content:


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                      Comment

                      • LeRoy
                        Porn Pusher
                        • Jul 2007
                        • 13364

                        #12
                        Nice one those are sooooo true
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                        Comment

                        • martinsc
                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                          • Jun 2005
                          • 27047

                          #13
                          Make Money

                          Comment

                          • pornguy
                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                            • Mar 2003
                            • 62912

                            #14
                            This is one of the best posts I have seen in some time.
                            PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic

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                            Comment

                            • GAMEFINEST
                              Make STACK$
                              • Nov 2006
                              • 14478

                              #15
                              I love asian babes
                              Compound interest.

                              Comment

                              • Eva PSC
                                Confirmed User
                                • Feb 2008
                                • 994

                                #16
                                porn is such a fantasy... why nobody likes real life sex?

                                www.PinkStarCash.com
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                                Comment

                                • PPjohn
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Sep 2005
                                  • 871

                                  #17
                                  hehe nice

                                  Comment

                                  • corbu
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Nov 2003
                                    • 1461

                                    #18
                                    damn straight. i tell my girl if she aint on the rag she better be wearing a thong

                                    Comment

                                    • GirlsOnYou
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Oct 2006
                                      • 618

                                      #19
                                      Awesome post indeed!
                                      * Selling my adult sites.
                                      Email: furaldbullon48aol9com - Replace 48 with @ and 9 with .

                                      Comment

                                      • bobby666
                                        boots are my religion
                                        • Nov 2005
                                        • 21765

                                        #20
                                        this thread rocks!

                                        Comment

                                        • tony299
                                          lurker
                                          • Aug 2002
                                          • 57021

                                          #21
                                          very funny

                                          Comment

                                          • nAtuRaLbEautY
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • May 2006
                                            • 6107

                                            #22
                                            definitely right and true!!!
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                                            Comment

                                            • Violetta
                                              Affiliate
                                              • Jul 2004
                                              • 28735

                                              #23
                                              old, but great!
                                              M&A Queen

                                              Comment

                                              • calista
                                                Registered User
                                                • Mar 2008
                                                • 88

                                                #24
                                                Nice post.. Thanks for sharing..

                                                Comment

                                                • Octopus
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Feb 2007
                                                  • 1436

                                                  #25
                                                  Good post

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life
                                                    (felis madjewicus)
                                                    • Jul 2006
                                                    • 20368

                                                    #26
                                                    timeline?

                                                    Comment

                                                    • papill0n
                                                      Unregistered Abuser
                                                      • Oct 2007
                                                      • 15547

                                                      #27
                                                      I lol'd!!!!!!

                                                      Comment

                                                      • qxm
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Jul 2006
                                                        • 5970

                                                        #28
                                                        gr8 post m8.........

                                                        ICQ: 266990876

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Gunni
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Apr 2003
                                                          • 2385

                                                          #29
                                                          When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass
                                                          This one is completely true!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • viencarl
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • May 2007
                                                            • 4234

                                                            #30
                                                            nice info

                                                            Comment

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