ATM Message - JOKE!

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  • czarina
    Webmaster Extraordinaire
    • Jul 2002
    • 10751

    #1

    ATM Message - JOKE!

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this
    Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling
    customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures
    have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your
    gender."
    MALE PROCEDURE:
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.

    ************************************************** *********
    FEMALE PROCEDURE:
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind
    you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Redial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release Parking Brake.
  • Manowar
    jellyfish  
    • Dec 2003
    • 71528

    #2

    Comment

    • sicone
      Retired
      • Jan 2004
      • 18453

      #3

      Comment

      • pornguy
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Mar 2003
        • 62910

        #4
        Sounds about right.
        PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic

        AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online!
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        Comment

        • Yze
          Registered User
          • Mar 2006
          • 23

          #5
          haha funny yet very true
          TokenArcade | All Dumps | All Linkers | Zyped! Daily Media | Yoinkz! Daily Babes

          Comment

          • Jade^
            Confirmed User
            • Mar 2006
            • 522

            #6
            Perl/PHP Scripts Galore

            Comment

            • bringer
              i have man boobies
              • Jul 2003
              • 13082

              #7
              i hate people
              333-765-551

              Comment

              • okdesign
                ICQ 278367136
                • May 2002
                • 24773

                #8
                old but good!

                Comment

                • Pure Evil
                  Confirmed User
                  • Mar 2006
                  • 1737

                  #9
                  that was pretty good.
                  I am the fourth Horseman.


                  If someone offers you an amazing hosting deal, call WEBAIR before you choose. You won't be sorry.

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                  • xclusive
                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                    • Apr 2004
                    • 35218

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Manowar

                    I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /


                    Comment

                    • Abithefiend
                      Confirmed User
                      • Nov 2005
                      • 756

                      #11
                      Hahahahaha

                      Comment

                      • The Sultan Of Smut
                        Confirmed User
                        • Dec 2004
                        • 4325

                        #12
                        That's the best joke I've heard in a while!

                        Comment

                        • BlueDesignStudios
                          Confirmed User
                          • Feb 2003
                          • 9492

                          #13
                          hahaha only funny cos it's true!

                          Blue Design Studios - Adult Design Specialists!
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                          • woj
                            <&(©¿©)&>
                            • Jul 2002
                            • 47880

                            #14
                            Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000
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                            • Vitasoy
                              GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
                              • Oct 2003
                              • 58202

                              #15
                              Lol.. so damn true hahah


                              [email protected]

                              Comment

                              • emthree
                                Dialer Kingpin
                                • Jun 2003
                                • 10816

                                #16
                                Parking break - ebrake?

                                • Sell Patches & Pills •

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                                • Star 69
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Nov 2005
                                  • 8602

                                  #17
                                  he he!
                                  e-mail star69

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                                  • Furious_Female
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Oct 2002
                                    • 8187

                                    #18
                                    Skype: j3nn.com
                                    ICQ 160370494

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                                    • StuartD
                                      Sofa King Band
                                      • Jul 2002
                                      • 29903

                                      #19
                                      It's funny because it's true.
                                      This is me on facebook
                                      This is me on twitter

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                                      • DWB
                                        Registered User
                                        • Jul 2003
                                        • 31779

                                        #20
                                        drive 2 or 3 miles and release parking brake... HAHAHAHA

                                        Comment

                                        • u-Bob
                                          there's no $$$ in porn
                                          • Jul 2005
                                          • 33063

                                          #21
                                          old but funny

                                          Comment

                                          • gecko
                                            ******
                                            • Jun 2002
                                            • 21846

                                            #22
                                            Lol.......
                                            [email protected]

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                                            • Spunky
                                              I need a beer
                                              • Jun 2002
                                              • 133978

                                              #23
                                              Funny but they forgot to add pay every single bill you have and make the men wait an hour

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