Hottie or Nottie?!? Paris Hilton's New Movie BOMBS!!!
TMZ:
According to Fantasy Moguls, Paris' movie, "The Hottie and the Nottie," opened on 111 screens yesterday, and sold only $76 in ticket sales per location. That breaks down to approximately 10 people per theater. It's anticipated that the movie will sell only $23,000 during the three-day weekend.
One would think that after increasingly embarrassing forays into reality television, the Internet and the penitentiary, Paris Hilton might have taken a moment to reflect on her choices. Or perhaps not: with “The Hottie & the Nottie” Ms. Hilton proves yet again that introspection — not to mention shame — is as alien to her as a life without paparazzi.
Custom designed for its smirking star (who is also an executive producer), this tasteless train wreck asks only that she preen and prance on cue. As Cristabel Abbott, half of the film’s title and the entirety of its purpose, Ms. Hilton plays a Los Angeles magnet to a variety of drooling stalkers. Chief among these is Nate (Joel David Moore), a needy nerd whose adoration flowered in first grade and stubbornly resists the evidence of his bathroom mirror.
Before Nate can claim his prize, however, he must find someone willing to deflower Cristabel’s best friend, June (Christine Lakin), a sweetheart buried beneath a crusty coating of plaque, eczema and toenail fungus. But while Heidi Ferrer’s script feigns interest in June’s inner beauty, the camera creeps beneath Cristabel’s swimsuit and hangs on her every word. “A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers,” she pants.
Hallmark, eat your heart out.
Custom designed for its smirking star (who is also an executive producer), this tasteless train wreck asks only that she preen and prance on cue. As Cristabel Abbott, half of the film’s title and the entirety of its purpose, Ms. Hilton plays a Los Angeles magnet to a variety of drooling stalkers. Chief among these is Nate (Joel David Moore), a needy nerd whose adoration flowered in first grade and stubbornly resists the evidence of his bathroom mirror.
Before Nate can claim his prize, however, he must find someone willing to deflower Cristabel’s best friend, June (Christine Lakin), a sweetheart buried beneath a crusty coating of plaque, eczema and toenail fungus. But while Heidi Ferrer’s script feigns interest in June’s inner beauty, the camera creeps beneath Cristabel’s swimsuit and hangs on her every word. “A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers,” she pants.
Hallmark, eat your heart out.
ADG
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