Ok, I'm going on vacation in a week to Jamaica, looking for tips & tricks!!! - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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jaYMan

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#1

Ok, I'm going on vacation in a week to Jamaica, looking for tips & tricks!!!

03-15-2006, 11:48 AM

I'm staying in Negril for 2 weeks, anyone have any advice on things to do/see???

Whats up with internet there? I have Verizon wireless in my laptop, will it work there or am I gonna be limited to internet cafes?

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#2

03-15-2006, 11:49 AM

damn 2 weeks? hope you find something to do that whole time.
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03-15-2006, 11:50 AM

If you ever find yourself in a BAD neighborhood... just tell everyone around that you are a rich American.

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03-15-2006, 11:50 AM

Tip...errrrr warning: NEVER leave the touristy areas...

I like turtles.
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#5

03-15-2006, 11:51 AM

If you smoke, Don't buy weed from the Airport, wait till you get to the Resort

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03-15-2006, 11:52 AM

lots of rolling papers
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jaYMan

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#7

03-15-2006, 11:53 AM

come on lol, its not that bad there is it??? =))) im taking a hot chick, and doing a bunch of concerts:

http://www.jamminjamaica.com/

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jaYMan

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#8

03-15-2006, 11:54 AM

Im a fat whitey with dredlocks, how much trouble could I possibly get into>???"???

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03-15-2006, 11:54 AM

have a blast. that's all the advice i have for you.

careful if you go up into the hills. dont expect the weed to be that great. like someone else said, dont get from airport. but hey, i hooked up with some dude who looked like peter tosh at my hotel (Ritz Carlton - Montego Bay) and it was still crap.

You will have a blast in Negril.

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Platinum Mike

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#10

03-15-2006, 11:55 AM

Don't leave the resort...this includes tours with "tour companys"
Watch out for the cats...there are tons of stray cats and tons of Bats at night.
Try to have change on you at all times. If you need to use the convenience store they clain to never have change and try to get you to pay $5 for a $3 or $4 item and tell you they have no change.

and oh yeah....get wasted and have fun

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#11

03-15-2006, 11:58 AM

Talk to Tanker and Ellisa - they have a dude who will take care of everything for you
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jaYMan

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#12

03-15-2006, 12:04 PM

I was thinking abuot renting a few motorcycles and found this:

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show....&NSFW=3&page=3

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#13

03-15-2006, 12:09 PM

tip: send me a card
trick: try to send a ... with it

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jaYMan

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03-15-2006, 12:13 PM

i dont smoke weed lol so im not worried about that part =)

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03-15-2006, 12:15 PM

they will LOVE u jayman..trust me

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#16

03-15-2006, 12:15 PM

Take a new SEALED toothbrush for every day of the week.

The following is a true story, I would not have believed it, had I not seen the pics (sorry no scans available).

This friend of mine (we'll call him Steve, cause thats his name) went to Jamaica with his wife on a vacation about 7 years ago. While they were down on the beach, their room got broken into and anything of value was stolen, except their camera. It was laying in the middle of the bed.

After they got back state side and developed the film, 2 things happened. Steve went into shock and almost bought out the drug store in mouthwash. Then he swore he would kill every Jamaican he ever met again.

In the developed pics, where pics of some Jamaican dude bent over, bear ass naked with Steves and his wifes toothbrushes stuck right up his ass. There were several differnent shots. It was the most fucked up thing I had ever seen.

Now the only reason Steve showed me these pics is because I told him my wife and I were going to Jamaica for our anniversary. He told me what happened. I didn't believe him. He showed me the pics. We went to the Bahamas instead.
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#17

03-15-2006, 12:18 PM

always pass the joint to the left

always
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#18

03-15-2006, 12:19 PM

sounds like your gonna have one hell of a time

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Peaches

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03-15-2006, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by G-Rotica

Take a new SEALED toothbrush for every day of the week.

The following is a true story, I would not have believed it, had I not seen the pics (sorry no scans available).

This friend of mine (we'll call him Steve, cause thats his name) went to Jamaica with his wife on a vacation about 7 years ago. While they were down on the beach, their room got broken into and anything of value was stolen, except their camera. It was laying in the middle of the bed.

After they got back state side and developed the film, 2 things happened. Steve went into shock and almost bought out the drug store in mouthwash. Then he swore he would kill every Jamaican he ever met again.

In the developed pics, where pics of some Jamaican dude bent over, bear ass naked with Steves and his wifes toothbrushes stuck right up his ass. There were several differnent shots. It was the most fucked up thing I had ever seen.

Now the only reason Steve showed me these pics is because I told him my wife and I were going to Jamaica for our anniversary. He told me what happened. I didn't believe him. He showed me the pics. We went to the Bahamas instead.

LOL, have him send "the pics" to Snopes ;)

http://www.snopes.com/racial/crime/toothbsh.htm
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#20

03-15-2006, 12:24 PM

1. Don't leave the tourist areas.

2. Do NOT think about having some "adventure" off the beaton track.

3. Don't leave the tourist areas.

4. Heck with it, don't even leave the resort.

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sperbonzo

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#21

03-15-2006, 12:26 PM

Originally posted by Peaches

LOL, have him send "the pics" to Snopes ;)

http://www.snopes.com/racial/crime/toothbsh.htm

OUCH..... BUSTED!!

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#22

03-15-2006, 12:27 PM

Originally posted by sperbonzo

OUCH..... BUSTED!!

I've seen that. I'm telling you, I have seen the pics. They do exist.
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jaYMan

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#23

03-15-2006, 12:28 PM

geeesh... now im getting kinda worried lol...

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#24

03-15-2006, 12:31 PM

Originally posted by jaYMan

geeesh... now im getting kinda worried lol...

You don't have to worry, you'll have a great time.... just as long as you stay in the resort area.

All the smiling, friendly, great service people in the resort will not exist outside of strictly tourist areas, that's all.

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#25

03-15-2006, 12:38 PM

These guys are making Negril seem like the Watts.

I've been to Negril 4 times during this time of year and it couldn't be safer.

Tips:

1. Only take cabs that have yellow stickers on them.
2. If you need drugs...just take a walk down the 7 mile beach...they will find you.
3. Everything you need is either on the cliffs or on the 7mile beach. Yes they are both places for tourists...but besides The Falls there really isn't anything else to see in Negril
4. Stop by Hedonism...though at this time of year i believe it's couples only.
5. Watch out for prostitutes...they will grab your balls and package right out in the open on the beach.

Enjoy.

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#26

03-15-2006, 12:45 PM

To be safe, you should really just take me with you. I can't think of any other way to insure your safety. Also, I know which chick you are taking, and I have to admit I would love to see her hot little arse in a string bikini on the beach, in real-time...lol

Oh, I won't cock-block, no worries...

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#27

03-15-2006, 01:14 PM

Originally posted by jaYMan

I'm staying in Negril for 2 weeks, anyone have any advice on things to do/see???

Whats up with internet there? I have Verizon wireless in my laptop, will it work there or am I gonna be limited to internet cafes?

As everyone else pointed out, stay in the resort areas. Don't wander up side streets and alleys. 80% of the time there would be no trouble, but why chance it. I've never had any trouble in Jamaica, but I travel with locals when I'm there. (though I have been held by guerillas in central america...not fun.)

Overall, I think that Jamaica is overated as a destination as are most of the Islands in el caribe. Too many tourists and too shitty when you're not in a resort hotel. Stay in the resort area, enjoy the beach/surf, get a tan, drink some rum and you'll have a good time.

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magicmike

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#28

03-15-2006, 01:36 PM

I've been to Negril 4 times now never had a problem. We've gone on day trips, took taxis to local resturants etc.

If your staying at a resort you can hook up with some of the other people there or some employees to head to clubs at night. If your with locals that you trust you should be fine.

The worst areas of Jamaica are all around Kingston. They set up road blocks out of kingston during this time of year to search cars for drugs and weapons to keep the gangsters out of the touristy areas.

Lots of bad gang violence going on in Kingston the last month, Negril, Mo-Bay, Ocho Rios etc are all fairly safe.

Bring lots of Singles to tip would be my advice. Unless your staying at an AI that forbids tipping.

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#29

03-15-2006, 01:38 PM

Been there about five times

depending on where you are going, you should be OK. Yeah, echo the weed sentiment. usually the bus or cab drivers can get it for you, and depending on the resort, you may find an extra surprise in your hotel safe. I thought Jamaican weed was pretty potent, but I am a pussy Don't bother with anything else, though, it's shit. You don't smoke, so it doesn't really matter anyway. Their drinks at the resorts tend to be watered down, so go for straight shots. In fact bring a bottle of your favorite liquor with you, as chances are they will not have it. Most of the touristy stuff is OK, Ocho Rios, and Dunns River Falls is good, if you can get to Hedo 2 or 3 that would be interesting. Most of the island is a slum (about a 45% unemployment rate). The food is good at the resorts, the water is safe to drink. If you go in the ocean, bring those little fucking water shoes. There are goddamn sea urchins EVERYWHERE, and getting some stuck in your foot sucks ass (trust me on this one). Jamaica is cool, but if you bring a hot chick, you will have to beat them off with a stick, as they do not see hot chicks all that often. Usually old fat white tourists. Have fun!
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#30

03-15-2006, 01:41 PM

Ricks Cafe is popular on the cliffs but its a tourist trap. There are some nice local places that aren't as much of a rip off. We had dinner at the 3 dives one night and it was nice... The place is a dive [well kinda like a shack] but has a great cliff view, and you eat on picnic tables... good jerk chicken and lobster... very similar view to the one at ricks cafe.

Lots of people go to Margaritaville or the jungle to party at night...

I took a day trip to Mayfield falls, its in the mountains about an hour drive from Negril. Went with a little tour group, 6 of us in a shuttle bus, was fun.

You walk up a river for about an hour that has about 20 little falls you climb up, and you can swim at the bottom of each falls area.

Don't wear expensive jewlery or watches when your in Jamaica and don't flash around big wads of cash. Common sense things really. The local people are very nice, but like everywhere there are some bad seeds.

Last edited by magicmike; 03-15-2006, 01:42 PM.

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#31

03-15-2006, 01:44 PM

My husband and I stayed at Sandals Negril for our honeymoon last fall and it was horrendous....I really hope you're not staying there!!!! The room was absolutely filthy, the service was horrible, the food was really sub-par, and I'm pretty sure that the entire staff hated white people (or just Americans--I think it's a jealousy thing) with a vengeance. Oh yeah, the ocean smelled like a toilet too--I think the locals used it as one. We didn't even want to put our feet in the water because of the smell. We stopped by Hedo 2 (it's right next door) and we're impressed with that place either. The buildings look look gray army barracks and there was not 1 hot woman to be seen on the entire beach (and only 1 nude one--very old though lol). At Sandals, the average age was 40 and they were very, very prudish. I was the raciest person at the whole resort because of my Wicked Weasel bikini, lol. Anyway, don't believe the hype--Sandals is HORRIBLE.

Last edited by CC; 03-15-2006, 01:47 PM.
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jaYMan

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#32

03-15-2006, 04:18 PM

So, i shouldn't bring a hot model, and I won't be picking up anything there other than other tourists???

damn.

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