Pleasurepays

Ah yes. i remember the first time i stumbled across a Giant Warrior Squirrel while hiking in the Himalayas.

i was young.. i didn't listen to the guides or the locals who kept warning me. i was just foolish. i thought i knew it all. well... i didn't.

anyway, i rounded a corner on the trail and there he was. he might have been a good 18 inches tall or so. i froze in terror. i knew i was going to die and just prayed it would be quick as i watched his knife glisten in the harsh mid-day sun.

he stared at me, almost taunting me with his gaze. he was clearly unimpressed and he let me know that. he gave me that look that said "dude, i'll fuck you up, eat a sandwich and then fuck you up again"

i admit, i was paralyzed with fear. i'm not a hero and he clearly meant business. i realized that i had only a second or two to react and that split second decision would mean the difference between life or death.

luckily, at that precise moment, i recalled an old sherpa legend where a naive tourist much like myself, successfully defended himself by balling up on the ground in the fetal position, crying like a bitch and pissing himself. luckily, before he could lunge at me, i pulled myself together and did just that. it was my only chance. i knew that if i couldn't pull it off, it meant certain death.

i shit myself as an added precaution. it worked.

and i lived to tell about it.

i'm still afraid of squirrels.





fucking squirrels.