If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake,
Baked a cake, baked a cake.
If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake,
How'd ja do, how'd ja do, how'd ja do.
If I knew you were coming I'd have baked some cookies,
Baked some cookies, baked some cookies,
If I knew you were coming I'd have baked some cookies,
How'd ja do, how'd ja do, how'd ja do.
Well I don't know where you come from,
And I don't know where you've been.
But it really doesn't matter,
Grab a chair and fill your platter,
And dig, dig, dig right in.
Cause If I knew you were coming
I'd have baked a cake,
How'd ja do, how'd ja do, how'd ja do!
If I knew you were coming I'd have hired a band,
The biggest band in the land,
If I knew you were coming I'd have hired a band,
How'd ja do, how'd ja do, how'd ja do!
I think he was just poor or something and just going for a one time payment for a lifetime of anus licking, or something, instead of hiring a crack whore each time he needed his anus licked.
I also wondered if maybe he was super fat and just too embarrassed to expose his anus to any human. Just another theory.
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