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I will be honest. It was not easy not speaking about it while I was around here and other places. I litterally only told less than 5 people online about the ordeal and only pieces of it.
I really did not want many people I know to stress out over it as one of the operations which was my most recent was a major operation. Talking the type where you really need to have all your paperwork in order because you very well could end up going to sleep and thats it, poof your now whatever you designated in your paperwork. My operation which is major for the normal person was made overly complicated by my internal anatomy which has changed a great deal so instead of the standard and somewhat scary 7 hour operation, mine went near or past 14 hours under the knife. I had two units of blood before going in and another 2 while under the knife. Everything went well though thankfully aside from the whole recovery issue and I awoke with two less organs than most of you.
Also facing the unknown of knowing you have cancer but not how bad can almost drive one insane. You know you have these cells growing in your body possibly killing you and you are required to sit and wait for tests and a possible surgery date and even then more tests and time before you know for sure what your new timeline on this planet shall be.
I felt it best to keep it between myself, my wife, a few relatives excluding my younger brothers and sisters, and a few online people and that was it. In essence almost two months of moments of sheer terror to wanting to just sell off everything and live as simple of a life as possible.
It is a real internal learning experience. For me I cared mostly about how it would effect others though. I was in a mad scrambling mode to get all my paperwork noterized and in order to make sure my wife was taken care of. I then decided no matter the results, I was going to change. Many of these things are simple and will never be noticed while others are more outward and are more based on helping others.
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