Ask Me Any Question About Australia...

why is australia so gay?

is it true that austrailians can take a punch to the head better than north americans cause thier skulls are thicker and briains are smaller?

Oh lolol

Man you have really left yourself open for this one. I am staying out

hahah this could get interesting - hope you have good answers here
Good Luck!

I will say one thing before someone asks the question.

No we do not have kangaroos running down our streets, they are only in the bush.

this is SO true
We can even take a punch in the head while holding a beer and not spill the beer

Can you find me a bitch fat ugly australian bitch to marry me, so i can move the fuck outta this shithole?

and we dont ride around in there pouches

can the 10bA bankrupt the government, if so, how long will it take till they revise it.

i am still trying to work that one out meself

Is it true that Koala Bears are mean as hell?

WTF????? let me take a stab at it anyway lol, yes and 2 years

nope, but those little fuckers can claw the fuck out of you

LOL - is that 2 years from the time it was initially offered or 2 years from today....

i want to know how much time i have left to get all of your country's money.

that should be no worries, there is a shit load of fatties down here for you

today i guess

Hmmmm.... better just send me a Tasmanian Devil then

Only if they get bitten by a bunyip - then they turn into drop bears which can really fuck you up.

here you go

My father went out for a packet of cigs in Adelaide 27 years ago.....

do you know what shop he went to..... nobody has seen him since?

Strange but true - and he did say anything.

SWEEEEET!!!

Can you fedex me some kangaroo steaks?

that meat is SOOO expensive to buy, i would be better off going and killing one and cutting it up myself and sending it to you

Drop Bears - The Truth

For those of you who do not know the history of Drop Bears in Australia, I will tell it, so much as I know, as a warning to you and your family.

Origin

In the beginning, there were koalas. Cuddly, furry, slow-moving and sleepy, koalas eat gum leaves for 90% of their waking lives, but prefer to spend most of their time asleep. They live in trees, venturing down to the ground only when it is necessary to move from tree to tree. Koalas are no threat to humans, unless you are foolish enough to climb up a tree and attempt to catch one, under which circumstances the koala may give you a bit of a scratch with its ample claws.

You will be aware that Australia is home to many species that simply don't exist anywhere else in the world. Echidnas, wombats, koalas, kangaroos, wallabies, bandicoots and potoroos are unique to Australia, just to name a few. Another unique animal is the Drop Bear.

Description

The Drop Bear is described as an arboreal, (tree dwelling) carnivorous mammal of Australia, Phascolarctus Hodgsonii, growing to around 4 feet in height. This description is not far wrong. Believed to have evolved from a similar line to koalas, Drop Bears vary from 3 to 5 feet in hight, but are extremely strong.

They are covered in a dense fur, which can range from almost black to the Alpine Drop Bear's snowy white coat. They have broad shoulders and razor sharp claws on all four limbs. They are able to walk for short distances on two legs, but are much faster on all four, being capable of bursts of speed approaching 60 km/h at full gallop. Their heads are similar to those of koalas, but with enlarged canine teeth, not unlike those of bears or other carnivorous animals. There are no reported photographs of them, and only a select and very lucky few have laid eyes on them and lived to tell the tale.

As you can imagine, admitting their existence would cause some degree of panic, and destroy parts of Australia's ecotourism industry overnight. It is for this reason that all government departments will, and have denied any knowledge of the existence of the Drop Bear, and are likely to continue to do so in the future. Being an avid outdoor enthusiast, and having contact with people who spend a large proportion of their time outdoors, I have gathered together scraps of information from sources all around the country, linking Drop Bear involvement to such events as the disappearance of Azaria Chamberlain, the death of Captain James Cook in Hawaii, several war-time incidents in northern Australia, the disappearance of a group of cross-country skiers in the Victorian Alps, and the deaths of a number of hikers, canoeists, 4WDrivers, campers, sunbathers and swimmers throughout the country. These 'accidents' are often reported as crocodile attacks, falls from cliffs, exposure, and in the Chamberlain case, dingoes were blamed. I have it on good authority in all of these cases, however, that a government cover-up was at work to dispel rumours of Drop Bear attacks and hide the truth from the public.
Dangers associated with Drop Bears

Drop Bears are not cuddly and friendly, like their cousin the koala. They are vicious, calculating, cold-blooded killers. Their usual method of attack is to select animals which stray from their group, including humans, dropping down onto them from above. They then proceed to wrap themselves around the body of their prey, squeezing them to death, often crushing the rib cage and breaking the neck. Occasionally when hunting, and when threatened, the Bears will drop down in front of, and then challenge their prey, snarling and flashing their sharp claws and teeth, before ripping their prey to shreds with their powerful arms and legs. Of all the ways to die in the bush, this would have to be the most horrible. Arms and Legs are torn from the body, along with huge slabs of flesh, which are greedily consumed while the victim still lives. If seen, Drop Bears should NOT be approached, as they are easily frightened and likely to attack. Vehicles are known to have been attacked, and being in one is no defence. An adult Drop Bear is able to easily break windows and enter vehicles to extrude would-be meals.

Sub-species

The Common Drop Bear is found in wooded areas all over the Australian continent, including Tasmania, and is thought to in fact venture as far north as Papua New Guinea and Indonesia. It lives in trees, dropping down to feed on kangaroos, wombats, and anything else that walks beneath it.

The Burrowing Drop Bear is slightly smaller in stature than the common variety, though just as ferocious. It is known to inhabit the drier arid regions of the country, including the deserts of central Australia. It is also fairly common amongst wooded areas, and burrows have been found everywhere from beaches to desert plains. The burrows vary in size according to the individual animal, but the entry hole may be considerably smaller than the actual living space. Holes 30cm in diameter have been known to house Drop Bears 5 feet tall. The animal's extraordinary contorting ability means it is able to crawl through extremely small spaces in search of wombats and rabbits.

The Alpine Drop Bear grows a special winter coat of almost pure white for camouflage in snowy areas. They have been spotted at lower elevations when the food supply is short, but unlike Common and Burrowing varieties, are able to hibernate for sustained periods. They live in larger burrows than Burrowing Drop Bears, being less able to contort through small openings. During the summer months, they remain in their mountain environment, shedding their white coats and adopting darker furs for camouflage in the lightly treed and grassy plains of the high country.

The Aquatic Drop Bear, as its name suggests, feeds in and around bodies of water. Lakes, rivers, dams and the Australian coastal waters are home to this variety of Drop Bear. With webbed feet and an water-resistant coat similar to a seal, they are ideally suited to marine life, though still retain the unmistakable Drop Bear physique of four legs, broad shoulders and sharp claws and teeth. Aquatic Drop Bears have attacked canoeists, rafters, fisherman on the bank and in boats, sunbathers and swimmers. Cases such as these are often falsely reported by the media as crocodile or shark attacks, in an effort to avoid the mass hysteria which would almost definitely result from an admission that we have a Drop Bear problem.

I'll pay for it, just pack it with dry ice & hook me up.

Oh & let me know whats up with a good dating site to find a aussie fatty, so i can get residence.

http://www.pictureofhealth.com.au

Theres nothing funny about drop bears - they eat brains.



edit - fucking Google.

[QUOTE=WebDork]
aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
see there are crazy fucks

[QUOTE=flogthelog]
Oooooooh, send me one of THOSE!

[QUOTE=EdgeXXX]fuck no , i am not going to try and catch one... it will rip me a new asshole

A question about one of the greatest Aussie icons!

Which Motor Company first invented the "Utility Vehicle", known as the "The Ute"? and would you know the year in which it was first designed?

Any Aussie beers to try aside from Foster's?

[QUOTE=flogthelog]

Technically Ford in 1934(?), but I think the answer you are looking for is Holden (FX) in the late 40's ('47 or '48?).

Victoria Bitter (VB)
Tooheys New

oh sanp, you hit google up ?

Nah, sadly I have always been obsessed with world autos (American-only tends to get a bit boring )

who would you consider Australias best export (actor/sportsman/etc?)

They went into production in 1934 and all of them were derived from a idea in 1933.

There is something about a Holden I found that Ford didn't deliver.

why is it called the "land down under"?
have you seen the Ayer's rock?
what is the best thing in being an Australian?

ugh.. no one fucking drinks Foster's in AU.. seriously.. it's not on tap.. not in the fridge at the local pub etc etc.. try Cooper's.. Red is great.

What's the deal with that saying "fair dinkum"? What does it mean? I've asked a few Australians and they've all given me different answers.

Also, can you post a copy of that "Respect the official.....sport" Public Service Announcement that was airing all the time on TV when I was there in 2004.

Thanks.

The Best Thing about being an Aussie - Everyone seems to like us
Why I don't know it must be our bick cocks

Well actually I am Tasmanian (the little island at the bottom) and yes we are a state of Australia and yes there are Tassie Devils and yes we do have 2 heads and yes we do have big cocks - well the chicks I have pulled have not complained and NO I am not gay! and YES VB is the best beer in Australia!


www.6-chats-money.com

they scratch fuck out of ya, and taste shithouse if ya dont cook em properly

1)cause we are downunder, look on a map , we are under everything
2)Yes i have seen and been to Ayer's Rock .... Its pretty fucking big to LOL
3)Best thing would be the people like walking down the street and having people say hello to you or getting on the piss at your local pub with guys you dont even know. Also just the Australian way of life, its very layed back down here. people just chill out

hey aussie rebal, where you from? i know it says Kickacoonalong but where you really from, you got icq?

god amazing what a post about Australia can do - I never new there where so many of us around!