If you have ever wondered what it would be like, here is what a possible random day might be like.
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6:30am. Huntington Beach.
Wake up, walk dogs, they will not go potty. Bump mouse on G4 Mac laptop, 15 icq?s waiting from overnight. They all have a gfy link in them.
Dogs shit in kitchen. They sit by it. They stare at me.
Clean up shit while 15 gfy pages that have nothing to do with me load. Ask the dogs to kindly reexamine shitting philosophy. Leave them with food and visualize a world without dogshit.
Get on 405 North. Put Toyota Tundra in park. Sit. Wait. Think.
1 hour later. 7:30am. Huntington Beach.
I manage to move over 7 full lanes to the carpool lane. I have not moved forward yet, only sideways, due east. Carpool lane stops solid, lane 4 is now open and flowing.
7:31am. New Text message arrives.
Dude, I hear crocodiles are in the waters of Costa Rica where we are surfing. We will need to watch out for them. ?Poppy.
7:32am. Text message reply.
Please find a different place to surf.
9:15am. Irvine California. Wegcash offices.
Plug in laptop to network. Pour coffee. Open email, safari browser and icq.
15 new icqs. 335 new emails.
Email tech guy.
Me: My folders do not work.
Check stats for Wegcash program.
9:31am. New text message.
Hey, check your icq.
- Affiliate
9:32am. Check icq.
Hey man, check your email when you get a chance.
- affiliate
9:33am. Check email.
Hey brother, check your icq.
-affiliate
9:34am. Reply to email.
Hey, checked cell phone, icq and email. You need something? Let me know.
Thanks,
Cory.
10am. Email from Drinkinghard.
Hey Cory,
do you have any information on customs laws in Costa Rica? We need to get around 100 eyepatches across the border for our Pirate Party. I am also building a plank.
10:02am. Place phone call to American Airlines.
Hi Linda,
I booked two flights to Costa Rica yesterday. I have a couple of questions:
---Go ahead sir.
Do you know if Costa Rica takes any issue with bringing eyepatches in my luggage? Specifically, 100 eyepatches?
---Sir, I doubt it. But I don?t think a hard and fast rule exist.
Thanks, ok, My friend is building a plank. Do you think Costa Rica has an issue with that?
---Sir, what is a plank?
Like a big piece of wood that people are forced to walk down.
---How much does this plank weigh??
10:35am. Reply to DH?s email.
Dude, how much does the plank weigh?
10:36am. Stare at this email before hitting send. Decide the email looks too stupid to send. Close email. Hit --do not save.
11:00am. Get new email. It is from John.
Hey man, can you grab 10 burgers from Carl?s Jr. while you are out for lunch? I know you go to Panda Express, it is near. I would ask one of the girls, but they always complain that it makes them feel like a secretary. We don?t need drinks, we have them here, just fries.
Reply.
Sure, why not.
11:17am. Carl?s Jr.
Me: can I please get 10 burgers?
Emp: Sure, would you like the meal with burger 1?
Me: No thanks, just fries.
Emp: Ok. Would you like a meal with burger 2?
Me: Ok, I see where this is going. Look, to simplify things, I do not want a meal with any of the 10 burgers. I just want fries with them.
Emp: Would you like cheese?
Me: Fuck.
11:22am. Make phone call to John.
Me: Dude, do you want cheese on these?
John: Hold up man?.Hey Gabe, you want cheese on them?.....Ok, ?.he says it doesn?t matter.
11:24am. Carls Jr cont.
Me: No cheese.
Emp: Ok, but it might be better if you order the double patty special it is a better value if you don?t want cheese.
Me: Look man, seriously, I don?t eat this crap. I don?t even pay for it out of my pocket. I do not care about value.
11:27am.
Leave Carl?s Jr for Panda Express. Paid for 10 burgers. 9 are in the bag.
11:45am. Arrive Panda Express.
Emp: Hi you like sample?
Me: No man, I will have a 3 item meal, no noodles or rice, just vegetables.
Emp: K sir you like noodle with 3 item?
Me: No dude. Vegetables instead.
Emp: K sir I give you orange chicken what else?
12:00 noon. Leave Panda Express with a side of veggies, 2 boxes of orange chicken and a side of noodles.
12:17pm. Back at office. ICQ message comes in.
Gabe: Dude, check your email.
12:17pm. Check email.
Gabe: Dude, only 9 burgers. Did you pay for 10?
12:18pm. Reply to icq.
It was a special deal. The patties weigh more.
12:30am. Orange chicken open. Get instant message.
Girlfriend: You get that email I sent you?
Me: Hold up.
12:31am. Check email.
From Girlfriend.
Hey baby, miss you. Check instant messages.
12:32am. Return to messenger.
Me: Hey baby.
Girlfriend: you busy?
Me: Very much so.
Girlfriend: K.
Girlfriend: Are you ever going to hang that picture on the wall at home? Also, I don?t like it that Chopper (one of our pugs) lays on our bed sheets in the mornings, can you please not let him sit in the sun spot on the bed? I know you sneak him up there while I am showering. Also, PLEASE get a Costco card this afternoon while you are going to Panda, we are spending way too much money on chips and stuff.
Me: Yeah, I was just kidding about the whole busy thing.
Girlfriend: WTF? You have time for Eric, Poppy in John if a casino in Tahoe is on the line, but not for me! And btw, Panda Express is not even real Chinese food! Good bye!
12:45pm. Female Weg employee sends me an email.
Hey, check ur AOL messenger.
12:46PM. Check messenger.
Female Weg: Hey, birthday in conf room. We need you to help sing.
1:00PM. Get text message.
Hey man, got your email reply. Sorry for confusion. Will hit you up on messenger with my question later.
-Affiliate?
1:02PM. Reply to female Weg personnel in regards to birthday.
Me: Hey, what time is the birthday?
Female: Check your email alerts yourself, I am not your secretary.
1:05PM. Conference room.
Me: Happy birthday dear?..blah blah?happy birthday to you.
2:00PM. My office. Phone rings.
Girlfriend: Did you get my last instant message?
Me: Yes, but you said goodbye?
Girlfriend: Just checking. Bye.
3:00PM. Get email.
From: Guy shooting content for an exclusive site we are building.
Check your icq. Sent you link of model.
3:11PM. Get email.
From Weg General:
Company wide email.
All employees should begin checking messengers more. Communication needs to improve.
3:17PM. Check messenger.
Content guy: Hey bro, check out this picture of her.
Me: She looks good. Anymore pics?
Content: Yes, sending you a zip file in your email. She might do anal, am waiting for her to email me back. I will forward that to your mobile.
3:45PM. Get text message.
Hey dude, do you know if they make wetsuits that are teeth proof?
-Poppy
Me: Please find us another surfing break.
4:01PM. Office phone rings.
Hello Cory, you have a delivery downstairs. 10 Pirate costumes.
Me: But I sent those to Costa Rica directly, the eyepatches were to come here?
Not my problem. Heavy box. Please get it before 5:00PM.
4:41PM. Get ICQ.
Hey brother,
Really sorry about all the confusion today. I will hit you up on text messenger tomorrow so we can finish up this conversation. I know you are busy, but I really appreciate all your help today. You have a great night.
BTW, I just sent you an email, your spam filter is bouncing it.
-Affiliate.
----------------------------------------
6:30am. Huntington Beach.
Wake up, walk dogs, they will not go potty. Bump mouse on G4 Mac laptop, 15 icq?s waiting from overnight. They all have a gfy link in them.
Dogs shit in kitchen. They sit by it. They stare at me.
Clean up shit while 15 gfy pages that have nothing to do with me load. Ask the dogs to kindly reexamine shitting philosophy. Leave them with food and visualize a world without dogshit.
Get on 405 North. Put Toyota Tundra in park. Sit. Wait. Think.
1 hour later. 7:30am. Huntington Beach.
I manage to move over 7 full lanes to the carpool lane. I have not moved forward yet, only sideways, due east. Carpool lane stops solid, lane 4 is now open and flowing.
7:31am. New Text message arrives.
Dude, I hear crocodiles are in the waters of Costa Rica where we are surfing. We will need to watch out for them. ?Poppy.
7:32am. Text message reply.
Please find a different place to surf.
9:15am. Irvine California. Wegcash offices.
Plug in laptop to network. Pour coffee. Open email, safari browser and icq.
15 new icqs. 335 new emails.
Email tech guy.
Me: My folders do not work.
Check stats for Wegcash program.
9:31am. New text message.
Hey, check your icq.
- Affiliate
9:32am. Check icq.
Hey man, check your email when you get a chance.
- affiliate
9:33am. Check email.
Hey brother, check your icq.
-affiliate
9:34am. Reply to email.
Hey, checked cell phone, icq and email. You need something? Let me know.
Thanks,
Cory.
10am. Email from Drinkinghard.
Hey Cory,
do you have any information on customs laws in Costa Rica? We need to get around 100 eyepatches across the border for our Pirate Party. I am also building a plank.
10:02am. Place phone call to American Airlines.
Hi Linda,
I booked two flights to Costa Rica yesterday. I have a couple of questions:
---Go ahead sir.
Do you know if Costa Rica takes any issue with bringing eyepatches in my luggage? Specifically, 100 eyepatches?
---Sir, I doubt it. But I don?t think a hard and fast rule exist.
Thanks, ok, My friend is building a plank. Do you think Costa Rica has an issue with that?
---Sir, what is a plank?
Like a big piece of wood that people are forced to walk down.
---How much does this plank weigh??
10:35am. Reply to DH?s email.
Dude, how much does the plank weigh?
10:36am. Stare at this email before hitting send. Decide the email looks too stupid to send. Close email. Hit --do not save.
11:00am. Get new email. It is from John.
Hey man, can you grab 10 burgers from Carl?s Jr. while you are out for lunch? I know you go to Panda Express, it is near. I would ask one of the girls, but they always complain that it makes them feel like a secretary. We don?t need drinks, we have them here, just fries.
Reply.
Sure, why not.
11:17am. Carl?s Jr.
Me: can I please get 10 burgers?
Emp: Sure, would you like the meal with burger 1?
Me: No thanks, just fries.
Emp: Ok. Would you like a meal with burger 2?
Me: Ok, I see where this is going. Look, to simplify things, I do not want a meal with any of the 10 burgers. I just want fries with them.
Emp: Would you like cheese?
Me: Fuck.
11:22am. Make phone call to John.
Me: Dude, do you want cheese on these?
John: Hold up man?.Hey Gabe, you want cheese on them?.....Ok, ?.he says it doesn?t matter.
11:24am. Carls Jr cont.
Me: No cheese.
Emp: Ok, but it might be better if you order the double patty special it is a better value if you don?t want cheese.
Me: Look man, seriously, I don?t eat this crap. I don?t even pay for it out of my pocket. I do not care about value.
11:27am.
Leave Carl?s Jr for Panda Express. Paid for 10 burgers. 9 are in the bag.
11:45am. Arrive Panda Express.
Emp: Hi you like sample?
Me: No man, I will have a 3 item meal, no noodles or rice, just vegetables.
Emp: K sir you like noodle with 3 item?
Me: No dude. Vegetables instead.
Emp: K sir I give you orange chicken what else?
12:00 noon. Leave Panda Express with a side of veggies, 2 boxes of orange chicken and a side of noodles.
12:17pm. Back at office. ICQ message comes in.
Gabe: Dude, check your email.
12:17pm. Check email.
Gabe: Dude, only 9 burgers. Did you pay for 10?
12:18pm. Reply to icq.
It was a special deal. The patties weigh more.
12:30am. Orange chicken open. Get instant message.
Girlfriend: You get that email I sent you?
Me: Hold up.
12:31am. Check email.
From Girlfriend.
Hey baby, miss you. Check instant messages.
12:32am. Return to messenger.
Me: Hey baby.
Girlfriend: you busy?
Me: Very much so.
Girlfriend: K.
Girlfriend: Are you ever going to hang that picture on the wall at home? Also, I don?t like it that Chopper (one of our pugs) lays on our bed sheets in the mornings, can you please not let him sit in the sun spot on the bed? I know you sneak him up there while I am showering. Also, PLEASE get a Costco card this afternoon while you are going to Panda, we are spending way too much money on chips and stuff.
Me: Yeah, I was just kidding about the whole busy thing.
Girlfriend: WTF? You have time for Eric, Poppy in John if a casino in Tahoe is on the line, but not for me! And btw, Panda Express is not even real Chinese food! Good bye!
12:45pm. Female Weg employee sends me an email.
Hey, check ur AOL messenger.
12:46PM. Check messenger.
Female Weg: Hey, birthday in conf room. We need you to help sing.
1:00PM. Get text message.
Hey man, got your email reply. Sorry for confusion. Will hit you up on messenger with my question later.
-Affiliate?
1:02PM. Reply to female Weg personnel in regards to birthday.
Me: Hey, what time is the birthday?
Female: Check your email alerts yourself, I am not your secretary.
1:05PM. Conference room.
Me: Happy birthday dear?..blah blah?happy birthday to you.
2:00PM. My office. Phone rings.
Girlfriend: Did you get my last instant message?
Me: Yes, but you said goodbye?
Girlfriend: Just checking. Bye.
3:00PM. Get email.
From: Guy shooting content for an exclusive site we are building.
Check your icq. Sent you link of model.
3:11PM. Get email.
From Weg General:
Company wide email.
All employees should begin checking messengers more. Communication needs to improve.
3:17PM. Check messenger.
Content guy: Hey bro, check out this picture of her.
Me: She looks good. Anymore pics?
Content: Yes, sending you a zip file in your email. She might do anal, am waiting for her to email me back. I will forward that to your mobile.
3:45PM. Get text message.
Hey dude, do you know if they make wetsuits that are teeth proof?
-Poppy
Me: Please find us another surfing break.
4:01PM. Office phone rings.
Hello Cory, you have a delivery downstairs. 10 Pirate costumes.
Me: But I sent those to Costa Rica directly, the eyepatches were to come here?
Not my problem. Heavy box. Please get it before 5:00PM.
4:41PM. Get ICQ.
Hey brother,
Really sorry about all the confusion today. I will hit you up on text messenger tomorrow so we can finish up this conversation. I know you are busy, but I really appreciate all your help today. You have a great night.
BTW, I just sent you an email, your spam filter is bouncing it.
-Affiliate.
Hahaha funny stuff! Took ten minutes of my life, but it was worth it!
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