Whats the purpose of ass hair?

you dont want to know

Ass hair, pubic hair and armpit hair all serve the same purpose: to preserve smell. No joke. Once, the smell of sweat served to attract partners.

Organic dental floss?

To serve as a nasty little fence - which at one time used to keep the dick out of your ass, but times have changed...

I hate shaving my underarm... it fucking hurts. Rest GOTTA be off.

prevents chafing

more cowbell.

i just spewed

Nothing beats the smell of ass at the breakfast table.

It's nature's muffler.......

It is nasty and must go. ALL of it.

I've heard from boyalley that hair ass gets in the way while doing it bareback

So if that's why you are asking this question... just shave it.

It's true!!

At one point in human evolution we walked around sniffing each other's ass. Ever wonder why humans are soooo fond of dogs? Could be we once had a lot on common.

Every so often, I try to re-establish contact with my inner cave girl. After I use the bathroom I dragg my ass across the carpet.

Dammit Leggs!!! I damn near choked on my sandwich I was laughing so hard

we weren't born with houses, it's to keep you warm!

Read this...


I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

Two words: Dingle berries.

it catches your loose shit!

Dude foreal you can mess your dick up fuckin an overly hairy ass. It's like fuckin a god damn brillopad. Scrub the skin right of your dick.....

FYI to all the straights goin gay on here!

FYI FYI: Do NOT have the bareback sex unless you're in a long term committed relationship and both of you have been tested multiple times otherwise you will get the aids and that would not be the thexy.

Here is a little tip!!

What big guy created to deal with your problems. Man kind devised a solution enabling you to get rid of butt hair and not have your problems.

It's called a THONG!

It was designed to handle all of your difficulties. And that wonderful little piece of fabric that sits on your butt hole develops a nice wonderful musky aroma.

And you can then sell that used thong for 5-times what you purchased it for and cut down on laundry costs.

you know its like weed, they grow instantly where they're not suppose to.

ONLY on GFY would you see a topic like this. The title was so funny it took me hours to stop laughing so as to respond.

Asshair or any hair serves multiple purposes. Warmth, retaining sweat to act as air conditioning, sensing the crawling of pests, ....

Believe it or not, your asshole is a tasty treat to many predators. Nowadays asshair is an annoyance, yet mother nature once had a purpose for your ass being hairy.

Either that scientific explanation or hairy ass is just a joke by some evil leprechaun who put a curse on our ancestors.
Like

First defense?

Its a place for dingle berries to grow where they can subsequently be harvested and made in to dingle berry juice to give to Al Quaida captives at Gitmo

Regards,

Lee

DH

"Every so often, I try to re-establish contact with my inner cave girl. After I use the bathroom I dragg my ass across the carpet.[/QUOTE]
Where is Lightspeed when you need him, a "scoothing thread"

wholy shit so many replies looloo

It is for impressing the girl with your sexy ass hair hairdo!

to collect dingleberries

Where is Lightspeed when you need him, a "scoothing thread" [/QUOTE]

This thread is useless without pics so..

[/QUOTE]

Actually its to protect from sunburn too. Especially on the head to keep the brain cold and not destroy the eyes. On the chest to protect the heart and lungs. The testicles should not be too warm, and the ass is more exposed to skin cancer. Thats why in some countries, especially the arabic ones, they have extra hairy ass because of the way they pray.

[/QUOTE]

Thanks Steve

wewewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

who are you using persius' nick should be the real question?





anyone else notice this ain't him?

trust me its him... he's always asking me wierd shit like this.

I love this thread!!!