It's great to see that Always Sunny has been "discovered" by others.
Get season one. There's some good episodes this season, and season 2, but the first is classic. I remember couldn't get my friends to watch it if I fucking put a gun to their heads. They're like "sunny what? Who's in it?"
Now some of them have come back to me and tell me I have to watch this great show on FX, and I tell them "bitch, I told you that 3 years ago." Or maybe it was 2 years.
Yeah, rent the season one disc bitches, you'll love it. Charlie has some good freak outs.
Lawyer: I am so sorry. My apologies, we're so busy today. It's good to see all of you.
Dennis: That's quite alright, sir. Don't worry about it. Listen, would now be a good time to say a few words about my wonderfully warm and caring mother?
Sweet Dee: No, just get to the reading part.
Frank: Get on with it, man. Let's go.
Lawyer: Alright. Uh, which one of you, uh, is Frank Reynolds?
Frank: Yo!
Lawyer: Okay uh, Frank, I have something here I need to read to you from Barbara. [reading] Frank, if your fat monkey heart is still beating, then congratulations. I want you to know that I hereby leave all of your money to Bruce Mathis, the real father of my children.
Dennis: What?!
Sweet Dee: What?!
Frank: Bruce Mathis?!
Lawyer: [reading] A handsome man with a beautiful soul and a nicer penis.
Frank: You're giving all of my money to that jerk-off!?
Lawyer: You know, Mr. Reynolds, I'm reading what's on the document.
Sweet Dee: Why are you giving it to him?!
Lawyer: I'm not--
Sweet Dee: She barely even knew him!
Lawyer: Yeah, I'm not giving any money to anybody, you see. I'm just reading what's on a will.
Frank: Where is that rat bastard?!
Lawyer: Sir, I don't know!
Frank: 'Cuz I wanna smash his face, until he's dead--killed dead!
Dennis: Frank, would you forget about Bruce?! Mom just gave away all of our money!
Lawyer: You know what, we should just move forward, okay? [reading] For my darling son, Dennis... presumably. [motioning to Dennis] I give you my house.
Dennis: Yeah, okay... well yeah, now it's starting to make sense. Read on.
Lawyer: ...on the sole condition that Frank not be allowed in.
Dennis: I would never let him in.
Frank: What?!
Lawyer: Deandra?
Sweet Dee: Yes.
Lawyer: You get nothing. You were a disappointment and a mistake.
Sweet Dee: A mistake? We're twins.
Lawyer: Yeah...
Sweet Dee: We were born at the same time. What are you talking about. You're not making any sense.
Frank: Tell that bitch it doesn't make sense!
Lawyer: Okay, I'm reading the words that someone else wrote, kay? I don't know your mom; never met your mom. In fact, I'm certainly not speaking to your mom now, because she's dead!
Sweet Dee: Yeah, we know she's dead. We're venting because we're frustrated.
Frank: You tell her, she's a goddamned whore--always been a whore!
Sweet Dee: Whoa whoa, what about jewelry? Does it say anything about jewelry?
Lawyer: It does say something about the jewelry in here, in that um, she wants to be buried in it.
Sweet Dee: God damn it... oh god damn it!
Frank: Oh! Oh! She's taking it into the grave!
Sweet Dee: Tell you what, you son of a bitch, I'm very disappointed in you today--very upset with you! You tell her from me, that I will be in touch with her, somehow...
Frank: Yeah, tell her she's a bitch!
Lawyer: These are awkward situations, often, and I know it can be difficult...
Dennis: [whispering to the lawyer as Frank and Sweet Dee leave] Hey, thanks for the house, dude.
Lawyer: You know... [awkwardly "bumping fists" with Dennis] You know, I didn't give you the house... that's not how this whole situation works...
Dennis: [gleefully] Yes you did! [laughs]
Lawyer: Mmm-hmm, kay.
[Dennis leaves]
Lawyer: [to himself] Jesus Christ.
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