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xxxjay

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#1

I almost got killed tonight...

01-23-2006, 03:38 AM

I fly in from Vegas to Burbank...flight was delayed for 2 hours...didn't know why. When we landed I thought we were going to FUCKING DIE! Hardest landing of all time...no fucking joke.

When I got outside the winds were fucking insane. That must make life hell for pilots and passengers alike having to land on such a short runway like Burbank.

I'm telling you -- I've flown a lot and I've never been that scared.

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#2

01-23-2006, 03:41 AM

Juicy took a shit and it was bloody.

Spend you some brain.
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#3

01-23-2006, 03:42 AM

We never knew his fantastic head,
where eyes like apples ripened. Yet
his torso, like a lamp, still glows
with his gaze which, although turned down low,

lingers and shines. Else the prow of his breast
couldn't dazzle you, nor in the slight twist
of his loins could a smile run free
through that center which held fertility.

Else this stone would stand defaced and squat
under the shoulders' diaphanous dive
and not glisten like a predator's coat;

and not from every edge explode
like starlight: for there's not one spot
that doesn't see you. You must change your life.

Last edited by 2HousePlague; 01-23-2006, 03:43 AM.

tada!
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xxxjay

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#4

01-23-2006, 03:51 AM

Originally posted by 2HousePlague

We never knew his fantastic head,
where eyes like apples ripened. Yet
his torso, like a lamp, still glows
with his gaze which, although turned down low,

lingers and shines. Else the prow of his breast
couldn't dazzle you, nor in the slight twist
of his loins could a smile run free
through that center which held fertility.

Else this stone would stand defaced and squat
under the shoulders' diaphanous dive
and not glisten like a predator's coat;

and not from every edge explode
like starlight: for there's not one spot
that doesn't see you. You must change your life.

Last Man in the Gang Bang

It's a marvelous night for a gang bang
All the band are ready to go
We got our Trojans and our 12 Packs
Gonna run a train on some groupie hoe

Ram her - ream her
Triple team her in the back seat of my beamer
Poke her - stroke her
So much meat down her throat it will choke her

It's a marvelous night for a gang bang
We got ourselves a hot teenage slut
It's a glorious night for a sperm bath
Gonna glaze down her face like a crispy cream doughnut

Ram her - ream her
Fill her buns up with our wiener
Erectin' - injecting
Glaze the hoe from every direction

Standing in line - stokin' my dong
Watchin' this bitch getting drilled - all night long
My turns up - that pussy smells like rotten shrimp
I lost my nerve - my dick went limp

I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG

She spread her thighs - they were covered with cum
Pussy swollen as a baboons ass - looked like chewed bubble gum
Was it the smell - or was it the beer
There just went my porno career baby

I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG

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#5

01-23-2006, 03:54 AM

I try to avoid flying, however, it looks like I may be flying a lot more. I better get used to the bumpy rides.
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2HousePlague

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#6

01-23-2006, 03:54 AM

You have all my support, xxxjay --

2hp

tada!
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#7

01-23-2006, 04:01 AM

You'd be surprised how often you nearly get killed. Although fortunately, you're quite often not even aware of it.
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#8

01-23-2006, 04:04 AM

flying is very scary.. so many people's lives in hads of just a few pilots...

btw, jay, ur on icq now?

Last edited by dij; 01-23-2006, 04:05 AM.
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#9

01-23-2006, 05:00 AM

I would figure you almost get killed pretty much every day of your life.

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seeric

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#10

01-23-2006, 05:02 AM

Originally posted by xxxjay

I fly in from Vegas to Burbank...flight was delayed for 2 hours...didn't know why. When we landed I thought we were going to FUCKING DIE! Hardest landing of all time...no fucking joke.

When I got outside the winds were fucking insane. That must make life hell for pilots and passengers alike having to land on such a short runway like Burbank.

I'm telling you -- I've flown a lot and I've never been that scared.

yeah i hate those rocky landings. in phoenix last year going to the forum the damn plane almost landed sideways. i thought we were goners.

it was so freaking windy the plane was rocking sideways when we were on the ground.

fucking crazy.
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#11

01-23-2006, 05:06 AM

Ahhh Poetry in the morning from Jack and Jay!! Celebration of life through poetry!

Inspriation on a Monday!

Matt

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#12

01-23-2006, 05:11 AM

Whn I read this thread I figured it would involve 3 gangbangers, 1 Puerto Rican, 2 Samons, a rottweiler, a lead pipe, several lengths of chain, a Glock 9mm and an Uzi.

Jay, you mate I figure to be like me.....

When the time comes, it ain;t gonna be boring, and it ain't gonna be ordinary.

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#13

01-23-2006, 05:24 AM

Originally posted by xxxjay

I fly in from Vegas to Burbank...flight was delayed for 2 hours...didn't know why. When we landed I thought we were going to FUCKING DIE! Hardest landing of all time...no fucking joke.

When I got outside the winds were fucking insane. That must make life hell for pilots and passengers alike having to land on such a short runway like Burbank.

I'm telling you -- I've flown a lot and I've never been that scared.

Its a good thing you are still here.... I need you to cover LA for the romance!!!!

Mr. Romance

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candyflip

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#14

01-23-2006, 05:45 AM

Originally posted by dij

flying is very scary.. so many people's lives in hads of just a few pilots...

btw, jay, ur on icq now?

For the most part, their lives are in the hands of computers

Spend you some brain.
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#15

01-23-2006, 05:55 AM

Drivin in this AM..
the winds were hilacious in Burbank... I can imagine a wild ride.

Jay.. Burbank is known for wild plane landings.... Ask KB
We had the ride from hell coming home from an AWE once..

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#16

01-23-2006, 06:34 AM

It can be freaky no doubt. My worst experience was flying aeroflot and landing in novosibirsk siberia at 4 am during the winter. All the sound kind of blanked out and I heard the Doors "The end" and that bald fucker passed my up with the juice tray.

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#17

01-23-2006, 11:05 AM

Originally posted by Mr. Romance

Its a good thing you are still here.... I need you to cover LA for the romance!!!!

Mr. Romance

Romance, my love, hit me up when you can, not sure where you are at, you did not call me back saturday night, whore....lol

and btw, to cover LA romance you will need three peeps, 213, 310 and 323, hell you might as well throw in one more for all of 818.

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#18

01-23-2006, 11:08 AM

Landing is basically a controlled crash.

The most scared I've been on a plane was a little Eastern Metro 8 seater flying to Hilton Head. The storms were so bad we had to fly out to sea and approach from a different angle. That little airplane was getting tossed like crazy on the wind.

Wind+planes=bad!

Glad you're OK Jay!
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#19

01-23-2006, 11:18 AM

I'd never been on a bad flight, but our flight home from Vegas freaked me out.

They stopped drink service half way through, and even the flight attendants looked frightened.

I glanced out the window and it was nothing but haze. The only thing I could see was the top of a mountain about a mile away that we were flying level with.

When EVERYONE looked up because of the big "Boom" coming from the rear of the plane, and I saw the look of terror on my wife's face, well let's just say I was a touch nervous.
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#20

01-23-2006, 11:20 AM

Originally posted by CE_BigB

Drivin in this AM..
the winds were hilacious in Burbank... I can imagine a wild ride.

Jay.. Burbank is known for wild plane landings.... Ask KB
We had the ride from hell coming home from an AWE once..

Big B
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#21

01-23-2006, 11:35 AM

There's nothing like a bumpy flight. I treat it like a grown up theme park. If it's your time to die then so be it. Not much you can do about it. So, just enjoy it and treat it like a high priced roller coaster.

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#22

01-23-2006, 12:10 PM

Today it's more windy than a motherfucker

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xxxjay

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#23

01-23-2006, 12:10 PM

Originally posted by kBizzle

NO DIGGITY
Still ranks among the top 10 scariest moments in my life-
Number 1 of course was when Houston told my dad she wanted to marry me.

Was that when you were guy #501?

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#24

01-23-2006, 12:16 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

Last Man in the Gang Bang

It's a marvelous night for a gang bang
All the band are ready to go
We got our Trojans and our 12 Packs
Gonna run a train on some groupie hoe

Ram her - ream her
Triple team her in the back seat of my beamer
Poke her - stroke her
So much meat down her throat it will choke her

It's a marvelous night for a gang bang
We got ourselves a hot teenage slut
It's a glorious night for a sperm bath
Gonna glaze down her face like a crispy cream doughnut

Ram her - ream her
Fill her buns up with our wiener
Erectin' - injecting
Glaze the hoe from every direction

Standing in line - stokin' my dong
Watchin' this bitch getting drilled - all night long
My turns up - that pussy smells like rotten shrimp
I lost my nerve - my dick went limp

I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG

She spread her thighs - they were covered with cum
Pussy swollen as a baboons ass - looked like chewed bubble gum
Was it the smell - or was it the beer
There just went my porno career baby

I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG
I was the last man - IN THE GANGBANG

Thats AWESOme

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#25

01-23-2006, 12:18 PM

Yeah I had a rough landing in Miami once it definitely rattles you up. You have no controll over the situation. Winds seems to be bad lately all over the U.S. Well Glad to hear your Okay Jay

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#26

01-23-2006, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by Mr. Romance

Its a good thing you are still here.... I need you to cover LA for the romance!!!!

Mr. Romance

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#27

01-23-2006, 12:25 PM

I've had some scary flights as well, in the fall Magnus and I were travelling to Dublin Ireland after Octoberfest in Germany. We were in pretty bad shape after 3 days of complete german binge drinking LOL!

We had a ton of problems that day with flights and then finally we flew into Dublin and we landed and the plane went sideways. I yelled out "Holy shit dude!!!!"

Magnus put his arm against me to shut up and sure enough the plane turned riight around and we were fine. I looked like a big fucking pussy infront of all these hardcore germans LOL!

Quite embarassing but I thought we were gonners! ;)

DH
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#28

01-23-2006, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by DrinkingHARDER

I've had some scary flights as well, in the fall Magnus and I were travelling to Dublin Ireland after Octoberfest in Germany. We were in pretty bad shape after 3 days of complete german binge drinking LOL!

We had a ton of problems that day with flights and then finally we flew into Dublin and we landed and the plane went sideways. I yelled out "Holy shit dude!!!!"

Magnus put his arm against me to shut up and sure enough the plane turned riight around and we were fine. I looked like a big fucking pussy infront of all these hardcore germans LOL!

Quite embarassing but I thought we were gonners! ;)

DH

Hey man you and that 1 chick beside me screamed so you were'nt alone ;) LOL

Magnus
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#29

01-23-2006, 12:38 PM

Originally posted by DrinkingHARDER

Magnus put his arm against me to shut up and sure enough the plane turned riight around and we were fine. I looked like a big fucking pussy infront of all these hardcore germans LOL!

Quite embarassing but I thought we were gonners! ;)

DH

Sorry man. Not meaning to laugh at your near misfortune, but that's pretty damn funny.
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#30

01-23-2006, 01:21 PM

I hate bad flights like that.

I was landing in Tokyo last year and I swear it felt like we just dropped about 100 feet straight down onto the runway. The compartment doors busted open, oxygen masks fell down, shit flew everywhere. Same thing... bad wind.

Those planes can hold up better than you think. BUT my ex-girlfriends dad is an engineer, designs jets. He told me once that most planes will never survive a water landing in the ocean because the water at those speeds is like hitting a wall. Unless it is a lake that is totally smooth, he said the smallest waves rips the plane apart most of the time. Those life vests under your see are just for a better piece of mind because the odds of landing on smooth water in the ocean are pretty slim.
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#31

01-23-2006, 01:40 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

Was that when you were guy #501?

621 but who's counting?
LOL

Good seeing you the other night Jay.
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#32

01-23-2006, 03:07 PM

...A pilot was bringing his plane in for a landing, but had to go through some extremely rough air; so much so that the plane was just bouncing all over the place and he never got on the mic to warn his passengers. Finally the plane landed and it was a pretty hard one, too.

He was rather embarrased for not warning his passangers, but went out to say farewell as folks exitted the plane and he was relieved no one said anything as they left. But the last person out was a little old lady who asked him: "Did we crash or were we shot down?"
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#33

01-23-2006, 03:10 PM

There is a risk to everything. They say flying is statistically safer than any other method of travel and that's reassuring.

If i'm going to go ina plane crash i just ask for it to be quick and painless.

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#34

01-23-2006, 03:14 PM

Originally posted by EroticySteve

There is a risk to everything. They say flying is statistically safer than any other method of travel and that's reassuring.

If i'm going to go ina plane crash i just ask for it to be quick and painless.

Agreed. Unfortunately, that probably wouldn't happen.

Crashing into the side of a mountain while you're reading a magazine is one thing. Having 20 seconds (or however long it would take) to deal with the fact that you KNOW you're going to die as the plane plummets to the ground, isn't something I'd care to go through.
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#35

01-23-2006, 03:19 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

Was that when you were guy #501?

LMAO

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#36

01-23-2006, 03:30 PM

A Boeing 747 can flex its wings 26 feet before they snap.
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#37

01-23-2006, 03:35 PM

Here's a video of a sideways landing at the old Kai-Tek airport in Hong Kong, sounds like what DrinkingHARDER was talkiing about
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#38

01-23-2006, 05:01 PM

Be thankful you still landed safe..

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#39

01-23-2006, 10:31 PM

any landing you can walk away from is a good one

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#40

01-23-2006, 10:32 PM

glad you made it.... that shit is scary...you have no control at all....

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#41

01-23-2006, 10:34 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

I fly in from Vegas to Burbank...flight was delayed for 2 hours...didn't know why. When we landed I thought we were going to FUCKING DIE! Hardest landing of all time...no fucking joke.

When I got outside the winds were fucking insane. That must make life hell for pilots and passengers alike having to land on such a short runway like Burbank.

I'm telling you -- I've flown a lot and I've never been that scared.

sounds like your werent medicated enough.

.
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#42

01-23-2006, 10:59 PM

The landing is the freakiest part of any flight to me. I hate that feeling like you're falling out of the sky. I'm definitely asking my dr for Xanax next time

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#43

01-23-2006, 11:01 PM

I just got back from there on Sunday, I flew with a friend of mine that is a Pilot. He was telling me about the winds situation all the way home. It was bumpy and also a hard landing but I don't think has hard as yours.

The winds have been crazy, that is why they are delaying flights.

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#44

01-23-2006, 11:13 PM

glad you made it ok.

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#45

01-23-2006, 11:17 PM

Hey Jay, nice to know you made it through it okay
I think the worst flight for me was landing in freaking Asheville, N.C. I had apparently chosen just the right flight to be on, because the plane came in with winds blowing all over the place, and the plane landed damn near sideways, before hitting a patch of ice and causing the plane to skid in the rest of the way. Let me tell you, its a freakin' trip and half when you see the run way sideways and fell the plane just kind of lurch all the sudden, I swear for a second there it felt like the plane was about to flip over. It's as they say though, any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

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#46

01-24-2006, 01:19 AM

Originally posted by Ramos

glad you made it.... that shit is scary...you have no control at all....

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#47

01-24-2006, 01:36 AM

At least you are safe man.
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