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The easiest way for me to define obscenity is this:
Take a hardcore scene or image.. Look for other works like it. If you can't find any, then it is likely obscene. Mainstream porn has little to worry about anymore, in fact past AG Gonzales admitted that "some adult content is protected speech". If you play in the middle of the field, boy meets girl boy fucks girl stuff, then you don't generally have much to worry about.
Oscenity in the US is still based on the the Community Standards test, which means there are still variations from place to place. What would be acceptable in San Francisco might not fly in Salt Lake City.
If you don't push the envelope, you aren't going to have many issues that I can see.
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