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Ok. Watching McGuyver can come in handy. Twenty years later. I suppose.
Get a notorized copy of your birth certificate. With this, apply for a passport; you can have the picture taken at any Longs/Wallgreens. They won't ask for ID. Take your documentation to the nearest post office and pay the incredible fee to have it processed and mailed. This may take a couple months unless you pay for expedited shipping. This can be used as proof of identification.
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