IM SUING FLESHLIGHT (drama)

Any pics

stickyfingerzdotnet is not the only one interested in this thread! I think everyone loves it, they just pretend like they are not interested in it (or the fleshlight) at all.

Do not be fooled. Buy a piece of plastic to help you masturbate. Not just any plastic, but buy an expensive piece of plastic that makes it harder to get it up.

Troll??

who has got a wife and kids, and is stupid enough to fuck a tube alone in his bathroom? damn! are you out of your mind?????? go get a psy :p

who has got a wife and kids, and is stupid enough to fuck a tube alone in his bathroom? damn! are you out of your mind?????? go get a psy :p

It is quite obvious that you are the Troll of the century. I can tell by the trophy you carry around with you that says, "Big Dumb Troll Award 2005-2006."

When do you plan on moving out of you parents house? Soon, I hope.

Wow is this morning of the ass sacks?

If you take a look at anyone who has ordered a fleshlight and you will have a complete list of ass sacks.

Actually, you will need to add to the list anyone who sells or promotes this fleshlight scam also. In fact, people who sell or promote this fleshlight trash are bigger ass sacks than the people who are tricked into ordering them.

What will you sell next? Plastic bags that you dip in Vaseline? Wow! Great idea!

This is funny shit!! So Im guessing you bought one and are upset because it was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway huh? lol Probably was the anal super tight version too. You against girls buying dildos too?

No, I would never buy one of those pieces of garbage.

I like your tiresome attempt to insult!

Girls buying dildos? Are you new to this "sex" thing?

Are you a woman?

Girls need toys.

Normal, healthy men do not need "toys."

This is not an opinion.

Maybe you are gay?

You are an ass bag in the most extreme manner possible. F.O.A.D!

That is as funny as you sticking your dick into a piece of plastic instead of a girlfriend. Are you also selling tube socks to men as "sex toys?" Just put the tube sock on your hand and then stroke! Another great idea!

Just because you have a major problem getting a girl doesn?t mean that you are a bad person, but obviously you are a really ugly guy with zero personality.

I bet everyone who knows you is proud that you recommend "fleshlights."

GO FUCK A STUPID FLASHLIGHT AND PRETEND TO BE HAPPY!

Why hasnt this guy been banned yet btw? Ive looked through a ton of his posts and see only trolling. Nothing of value.

Why hasnt this guy been banned yet btw? Ive looked through a ton of his posts and see only trolling. Nothing of value.

Hey asswipe. Im married with two kids.

Assbag.

Yes, they might call your children "assbags" as well. Either way your kids will not live long. See my other post.

I also want to sit in when the teacher asks them what their father does. Oh, he sells garbage "fleshlights" on the Web to insecure losers. We are so proud of daddy.

Maybe you can go into the classroom and talk to the kids about what you do?

You, the fireman, the lawyer, the doctor will show up for daddy day.

You will be so impressive and your kids will be so proud!

Listen to this shit:

Well, I went back in to the Gentlemen?s Club last night.

This time I was ready! I knew that if the bouncers saw me again, there would be an instant fight, so I wore a Halloween wig that didn't look too fake (good thing the club is dark).

I entered the club pretty late and paid the cover charge. One of the three bouncers (that bounced me) was working the door and looked right at me as I walked in. I wasn't sure if he recognized me or not. He actually opened the door for me and I thanked him.

I went into the club and hung out for a while. I had a few beers while waiting to see ?Kylie.? I probably drank a little more than I wanted to, but I was still good to go. I waved to Kylie, (the "cohort") the first time I saw her walking the floor. I was nice to her and smiled as I waved. She stopped by my table and asked if I was wanted a table dance. She was looking right at me and she didn't know it was me. I said, "I think I'm in the mood for something more," and asked if she might want to dance for me in the gold room. I was holding out some fifties and she ran her hand across my chest and grabbed my hand to lead me to the "gold room."

We made our way into a private dance room (gold room). They are really, really dark and nobody can see into the gold rooms while the dances are going on. When she started to dance, she began rubbing herself on me and quickly took off her top. She slowly slid up and down on me and I was just sitting there smiling. A few minutes into the first dance, she turned around and started grinding her junk filled trunk in my crotch. While she faced away from me, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a can of mace. When she turned back around to face me, I stretched out my arm and pointed the can right at her face and sprayed. I just kept the can nozzle wide open and sprayed her from head to toe (concentrating mostly on her face). She started swinging her fists trying to hit the can of mace and trying to hit me. She began to gasp for air. It was funny because her eyes were shut and she was just swinging wildly. She staggered around with tears streaming from her eyes and snot dangling from her nose. She was making really weird noises and coughing a lot.

I knew I was going to need some help to get out of the club, so I also brought a couple smoke bombs. I lit them and rolled them as hard as I could through the door curtains across the club floor. I made sure to throw both of them to the opposite side of the club and once the smoke started to gather, everybody started yelling, screaming and running. The bouncers ran toward the smoke as the patrons scrambled for the exit. Some of the dancers ran backstage and some just ran out the exits with the patrons.

Kylie was screaming at me as she rubbed her eyes and tried to make her way out of the gold room. I thought her screaming was going to bring the bouncers right to our room, so I just grabbed her around the neck with my arm. Even though her eyes were pretty much swollen shut, she knew right where to swing her elbows. We wrestled to the ground (my wig came off as we went down) and I told her to shut up, or I would spray her some more. She just kept screaming and fighting, so I let her go, stood up and pulled my belt off. I warned her again to shut her mouth and just then she let out the loudest scream I've ever heard. I began whipping her with my belt. I gave her the buckle end of the belt and I hit her as hard as I could with it. After a few good whips, she stopped screaming and started crying. She had her knees pulled up and she was curled into a ball on the floor. I could see her "tip" money safely rubber banded together tucked in her garter belt. I ripped the whole garter belt off her leg and took her wad of tip money (it was around four hundred dollars).

I knew I had to get out of there quickly, so I looked back through the door curtain and saw the smoke had filled like half the club. The fire alarm had gone off at some point and all the chaos and noise helped cover all the noise we had been making. Kylie was on the ground, still crying and reaching for the parts of her body where I really got her good with the belt buckle. She was bleeding from some of the hits.

I saw my chance and just ran for the front door. I had an Exacto Knife in my sock just in case. I never needed to pull it out. I'm sure none of the bouncers saw who I was. They probably thought I was just another customer trying to get the hell out of the club. I just ran for my car. I had parked a in a remote parking lot away from the club. It was only when I got to my car that I could feel how my eyes, nose and mouth were burning a bit from the mace. It all happened so fast, and I was so hyped up that I didn?t notice anything until I was sitting in my car. A stack of flyers that read, ?Kylie has Herpes!? was still setting in my car. I had planned on throwing all around the club as I ran out, but I couldn?t hide them very well under my shirt and I didn?t want to risk being stopped by the bouncers on the way in, so I just left them in my car. I thought about driving by the club (with everyone standing around in the parking lot) and tossing all the flyers out as I drove passed. I figured that is a sure way to get caught (or at least spotted/identified) so I just went home.

Tell you what tough guy. You mention my kids and their demise again and you'll find out all about me.

Go for it "tough guy." You are the one selling crap masturbatory materials on the Web. How many people do you think will be on your side? I'm sure your wife is proud of you. I bet your kids can't wait for you to give them some fleshlights to bring to "Show and Tell" at school.

Won't that be the greatest day of your life?

Ok, class . . . we will now share our "Show and Tell" items. Go ahead fleshlight loser kid.

"My dad sells "Fleshlights" and I am now going to put a plastic bag over my head to escape the humiliation."

Btw Ill be asking around all the stripper forums if they know where this happened. Ill then point the police from that area to your thread you made.

Don't you dare!

If you do . . . I will throw a couple smoke bombs at you and shove a can of mace up your ass. Then, while you are rolling around (trying to get the can of mace out of your ass) I will start whipping you with my belt. I'll be sure to hit you with the buckle end of my belt so it will hurt extra bad.
Then, while you are crying on the ground, I will pin a sign to you that reads, "I sell a shit product for losers called fleshlight . . . don't make fun of my wife and kids, please." Then I will try my best to take a dump on you.

Wow you win. You sure got me.....

yawn......

Oh ya! Ask anybody and they will agree that you are a dirty douche bag from 1988 that some fat girl used for a few months and never threw away.

Can you grab a fleshlight and run out to the local grocery store to see who might agree with you that it is a "great" idea?

You should be arrested. Arrested for selling a bullshit product on the web called "fleshlight."

You should also be locked up for the humiliation you are bringing upon your family and anyone who knows you. I know you don't care if you are humiliated, hell you've been a joke all of your life, but think of everyone else you pathetic fuck.

Step 1) Take your meds
Step 2) Gently unplug each cable from the back of your modem as illustrated in the below picture.

Step 3) Obtain a firearm of some manner.

Step 4) Load the firearm making sure the firing pin is in place.
Step 5) Place firearm to temple and pull the trigger with a slow, but firm squeeze.

-----------------------

Are these the instructions you've given to your family to avoid the horror of humiliation that comes with you pursuit of selling fleshlights?

I would just tell them all to grab a gun and fire as quickly as possible. Don't bother with any of the other steps.


lonely, pathetic men.

Kids, does your father approve of the "fleshlight?"

yes, ma'am.

OK kids, today we are going to pretend that your daddy is normal, or at least not a complete fucker. Hide those sex toys and imagine your dad does a fantastic job!

llmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo

God you are lame. Srsly.

I'm going to jam a fleshlight up your fat ass and I'm going to jam one down your throat. You will be a walking billboard for the "fleshlight" (designed for the gay man and the psychopath) and everyone will see you for what you really are . . . A scam artist selling complete garbage with a worthless device jammed in your mouth and up your ass.

Gee thanks! Btw Im far from fat.

Let me be more clear, you are not in shape. When people who are in great shape see someone like you . . . they consider you fat. When obese people see you, they think . . . I'm not so far from that fat bastard.

Tell you what, just run to the mirror and pull up your shirt. If you believe that you don?t appear to be fat, then just post a pic. We know for a fact that you are fat and that you waste most of your life promoting ?fleshlights.? Don?t you have any inclination to do something significant?

Fleshlights will destroy you and every ounce of respect that you and your family ever had. HAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This wont end here... I want all my medical bills paid for. Fleshlight will pay for this one buddy!!

So fedex truck comes early this morning a day early. I was one of the ones that won in the Ramos thread last week. As luck may have it wife was out with the kids this morning. So I tear open the packaging and check it out. The first thing I notice is it is smell free. Not like the cheap pussy toys you see in adult stores. So I feel the insert. It really does feel just like a pussy once its warm. Enough of the insert sticks out of the top of the fleshlight like a nice flesh pillow. It will keep your pelvis from hitting the case.


I got the Mocha colored standard pussy insert. I put the insert in some nice hot water in the sink and got it all rinsed off and warmed up. I applied the lube and and penetrated it for the first time. I must say this thing is unbelievable realistic. After you start to build up some air pressure the thing feels like a combo mouth and pussy. Like its sucking you off as you thrust. I lasted about 6 or 7 minutes which to me is very quick. After I got all finished up I washed everything and sealed it all up.






Now here is why im suing. I was so weak in the knees I nearly tumbled down the stairs and hurt my ankle. I think I have a good case here. Any lawyers want to represent me?

All kidding aside thanks for the great contest Prize Ramos and Juicy. That is a great product there and will continue to do my best to sell as many for you as I can!!

Drink more fluids.

Keeps the hands from getting calloused. Change of pace is nice. Im married and I still wack it, why not have some fun. Its ok for women to carry dildos around in their purses but if guys use a toy its weird...

This wont end here... I want all my medical bills paid for. Fleshlight will pay for this one buddy!!

So fedex truck comes early this morning a day early. I was one of the ones that won in the Ramos thread last week. As luck may have it wife was out with the kids this morning. So I tear open the packaging and check it out. The first thing I notice is it is smell free. Not like the cheap pussy toys you see in adult stores. So I feel the insert. It really does feel just like a pussy once its warm. Enough of the insert sticks out of the top of the fleshlight like a nice flesh pillow. It will keep your pelvis from hitting the case.


I got the Mocha colored standard pussy insert. I put the insert in some nice hot water in the sink and got it all rinsed off and warmed up. I applied the lube and and penetrated it for the first time. I must say this thing is unbelievable realistic. After you start to build up some air pressure the thing feels like a combo mouth and pussy. Like its sucking you off as you thrust. I lasted about 6 or 7 minutes which to me is very quick. After I got all finished up I washed everything and sealed it all up.






Now here is why im suing. I was so weak in the knees I nearly tumbled down the stairs and hurt my ankle. I think I have a good case here. Any lawyers want to represent me?

All kidding aside thanks for the great contest Prize Ramos and Juicy. That is a great product there and will continue to do my best to sell as many for you as I can!!

WOW. Why would guys not need toys? *scratches head* Let me guess you have women beating down your door every minute of the day wanting your throbing love stick. lol You're a joke. Who has more urges men or women? Men every time. Guess the adult website industry sells tons of memberships to women. You are an ass bag in the most extreme manner possible. F.O.A.D!