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Wow. I only made 18 seconds.
Write a script. Develop a nice presentation. Hire a voice actor to read the script. Put together a nice, 1 - 2 minute presentation, and get it over with.
Filming some slow speaking dude sitting outside on a balcony with all the traffic noise and stuff just doesn't make me CARE what your product is, it looks unprofessional and therefore risky and uninteresting.
As teh boyalley said, get a marketing person.
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