i'm a telephone sales rep (its like a telemarketer, but telemarketers go blind calling people and hope they buy a product, where TSR's are actually calling customers of the client we are calling for) and i'm here to debunk your "funny" ways to annoy a telemarketer
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Originally Posted by J$tyle$
Let them do their entire pitch. Tell them you are now unemployed but really would like to start a career in telemarketing. Tell them how cool you think it is to talk to new people all the time and that you're a "real people person!" Ask them how they got started. Ask them how much money they make. Ask them if they could talk to their boss about hiring you. Don't let them get off the phone until they hang up on YOU!
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that wont do much, except make us laugh...
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Originally Posted by J$tyle$
When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one gives a shit these days! Life sucks! I have all these problems; my hemorrhoids are acting up, my dog just died, my girlfriend just told me she had vaginal warts, etc."
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we'll actually talk back because we arnt actually cold hearted fuckers who don't care about nothing but getting your money, we have sympathy and will talk to people if they talk to us, i actually called a old lady and she ended up having a heart attack on the phone, while "most" telemarketers will just hang up and goto their next call, TRUE TSR's will do what we did, called local 911, patched through to their town, and had them go out and help her, we stayed on the phone with her untill the rescue people got on the phone and told us they were there and she was fine
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Originally Posted by J$tyle$
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Tell the telemarketer you want to apply immediately but not over the phone. Tell them you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you the paperwork, a case of beer, a pack of cigarettes and some chips.
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the second you say "but not over the phone" it is our duty to say "Thank you for your time" and hang up, because thats a keyword that means "no sale gonna happen here" and you just fucked up your way of screwing with us
Quote:
Originally Posted by J$tyle$
Insist that the caller is really your buddy playing a joke. "Come on pal, cut it out! Seriously, how's your mom? No matter how hard he tries to convince you that he's not your friend, keep grinding him and tell him YOU KNOW it's him and he can't fool you!
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we'll just laugh at you and mute our phones while we look over at the guys and girls beside us and say "listen to this fucking idiot, he must be on something" then all laugh at you
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Originally Posted by J$tyle$
Another great time waster is to tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down. No matter what they say next, ask them to repeat themselves over and over again. Ask them to hold on over and over again too. Just put the phone down for 30 seconds to a minute each time.
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good luck with that, no telemarketer will go slow, we're about being speedy
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Originally Posted by Michaelious
Or pretend to speak in another language lol.
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Originally Posted by woj
you sure? I always thought at least part of their pay is based on performance...
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depends on where you're at, theres 2 places i know of, my place, and another place, my place preformance is good, depending on the campaign we're in and what we're selling, but the other place, you can go all week without sales, and not have a problem, but our place if you go 2 hours without a sale, you get your ass riden, if not sent home for the day
now if you truely wanna annoy a telemarketer, this will get them... act interested in what they are selling, ask questions, do whatever you can to make them think, oh shit easy sale here! and then just keep on going, get into recording with them, verify information, and when they say the last "and i just wanna confirm...." bit that pretty much means, once you say yes, the call is ended, and you just bought whatever they are selling... hangup, that will piss off EVERY telemarketer like no other...