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Welcome to the most difficult market in the world. Make sure your site has enough REAL women and interaction to keep interest of the males, its a fun balance you have to learn. If I was to open an adult dating site id make it cater to a certain niche then hit up all the local related owners for links, newspaper ads, mag ads, write blogs about it - i mean the regular old stuff. Try to contact other dating sites to UPSELL your adult site, and more..
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