as fucked as it is - do an update. Start it, pop in a vid, and forget about it. Hopefully when you come back it actually updated, instead of getting hung up on an error 13 seconds after you walked away.
The DirectX Diagnostic Tool (Dxdiag.exe) is installed with DirectX and can be run by clicking Start, clicking Run, and then typing dxdiag. For information about using the DirectX Diagnostic Tool, click the Help button in the DirectX Diagnostic Tool
This will help you.
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