This has happened to me before dozens of times... and I dunno why, but this time it happened it really irked me off so bad that I did something completely inappropriate, something that I?ll regret for years to come. I was walking to a CompUSA about two blocks away from where I parked my car (I need the exercise, I'm a fat fuck). About halfway there I get approached by a homeless guy asking for handouts. The guy looks to be mid 40's, fairly frail. He starts telling me this sob story about how life kept kicking him in the face when he was younger, blah-blah-blah blah... anyways, he finally asks for some change so he can go "get something to eat".
So, like I do *every* time a homeless person asks me for a handout, I offer to go buy him something to eat. The guy shrugs and mutters 'whatever' under his breath and kinda shuffles off. I really wanted to get this guy some food even with his attitude so I decided to go buy him something to eat. Not that many good food places around where I was so I decide to just buy the guy a combo from Wendy's. I get the food, bring it to him and hand it to him. HE ACTUALLY TAKES THE FUCKING FOOD! This was virtually the first time I had successfully seen a homeless guy accept food, and I was happy that he did. Then the mother fucker walks over to a trashcan and DUNKS the food like a basketball in the trash.
I started to see red and I started screaming at the bastard and asked why the hell did he do that, why the fuck did he just waste a meal. And he goes "all I wanted was some change you asshole!". Then I snapped. I went away from there as fast as I could. I drove to my bank as quickly as possible and got $40 in change. All pennies. I put them all into this plastic bucket from my trunk, all 4000 of them. Then I drove back to where that homeless guy was. I looked for a few minutes and didn't see the guy and was about to go to CompUSA and just say fuck it. Then I see the asshole talking to some lady, no doubt trying to get a few cents from her and go buy some fucking booze with it.
I pull up close, go to the trunk and get out the bucket. Then I reached one hand in the bucket, took out a handful of pennies and started throwing them at the fucker. Handful after handful. I was screaming the whole time, don't remember all what I said, I'm sure I said something to the likes of "YOU WANTED CHANGE? HERE'S YOUR FUCKING CHANGE!". After about the tenth handful of pennies slamming into this guys head he falls to the ground. I then drop the bucket to the ground (this thing was getting heavy, it weighed like 25 fucking pounds) and start scooping up pennies with both hands and throwing them at the bastard.
I finally started to calm down because I was hearing someone screaming, it was the woman the homeless guy was talking to. She was screaming (almost pleading) for me to stop hurting the ?nice man?. I told her what the guy did to me earlier. She had this perplexed look on her face, like she didn't understand why I went through all this effort. I scooped up one final pile of pennies with my hands and dropped them on the homeless guy?s chest. Then I got in my car and drove off.
And now I really feel bad about the whole thing. Not about throwing the change at the homeless guy; that I'm still smiling about. Not about wasting $40, I really think it was well spent. I am pissed off because I forgot my fucking bucket
I've used that thing for years as a soap bucket to clean my vehicles with, and now it's gone for good. That bastard is probably using it as a toilet right now... that son of a bitch got the last laugh after all.
