The best ever lyrics, that aren't from a rock band ...
I NEVER DO ANYTHING TWICE
Steven Sondheim
When I was young and simple, I don't recall the date
I met a handsome captain of the guard
He visited my chambers one evening very late
In tandem with a husky St. Bernard
At first I was astonished, and tears came to my eyes
But later when I asked him to resume
He said to my surprise "My dear it isn't wise -
Where love is concerned one must freshen the bloom"
Once, yes, once for a lark, twice though loses its spark
One must never deny it, but after you try it, you vary the diet
Said my handsome young guard, "Yes I know that it's hard,
But no matter how nice, I never do anything twice". Mmmmm...
I think about the baron who came at my command
And proffered me a riding crop and chains.
The evening that we shared was meticulously planned
He took the most extraordinary pains
He trembled with excitement, his cheeks were quite aglow
And afterwards he cried to me "Encore!"
He pleaded with me so to have another go
I murmured caressingly "Whatever for?"
Once, yes, once is a lark, twice though loses its spark
Once, yes, once is delicious, but twice would be vicious or just repetitious
Some one's bound to be scarred, Yes I know that it's hard
But no matter the price, I never do anything twice. Mmmmm...
And then there was the abbott who worshipped at my feet
Who dressed me in a wimple and in veils
He made a proposition that I found rather sweet
And handed me a hammer and some nails
In time we lay contented and he began again
By fingering the beads around our waists
I whispered to him then, we'll have to say Amen
For I had developed more catholic tastes -
Once, yes, once for a lark, twice though loses the spark
As I said to the abbott, I'll get in the habit, but not in the habit
You've my highest regard, and I know that it's hard
Still, no matter the vice, I never do anything twice
Once, yes, once can be nice, love re-quires some spice
If you've something in view, something to do, totally new
I'll be there in a trice, but I never do anything twice, except...
No I never do anything twice.
I'm writting new lyrics to this tune called
I Wana Do YNot Bob Twice
