Make me Laugh and win a pass from Camz to the Phoenix Forum.

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  • SCOOTER
    Confirmed User
    • Oct 2001
    • 4010
    #1

    Make me Laugh and win a pass from Camz to the Phoenix Forum.

    Best 2 jokes in this thread by Monday 9am EST wins a pass to the phoenix forum. Winners announced Monday afternoon

    You don?t need to be an affiliate ? but it will not hurt..

    Affiliate program

    Live content

    So if you are going to the Phoenix Forum lets see your Best joke.




    ###
    Scooter
    [email protected]
    Tags: None
    • AdPatron
      No commissions, no fees.
      • Apr 2003
      • 17706
      #2
      My dick is bigger than yours.

        Comment

        • nba4life2k
          Confirmed User
          • Aug 2006
          • 308
          #3
          Want to know a funny ass joke......??










          WOMEN'S RIGHTS

            Comment

            • wil_I_Am
              Confirmed User
              • Sep 2005
              • 695
              #4
              First thing that came to my mind when I thought of you, Scooter ;)


              ForbiddenGold.com - Weekly Payouts! - $35 PPS - Contact Me For Any Special Requests!
              wil {at} forbiddengold.com
              ICQ: 287-370-139

                Comment

                • Barefootsies
                  Choice is an Illusion
                  • Feb 2005
                  • 42635
                  #5
                  Should You Email Your Members?

                  Link1 | Link2 | Link3

                  Enough Said.

                  "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

                    Comment

                    • stickyfingerz
                      Doin fine
                      • Oct 2005
                      • 24984
                      #6
                      This is probably my favorite for last year.

                      Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?"

                        Comment

                        • Barefootsies
                          Choice is an Illusion
                          • Feb 2005
                          • 42635
                          #7
                          Should You Email Your Members?

                          Link1 | Link2 | Link3

                          Enough Said.

                          "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

                            Comment

                            • EBORG9
                              Confirmed User
                              • Oct 2006
                              • 1823
                              #8
                              A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

                              The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

                              The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.

                              As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."
                              The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
                              Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

                              Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm collecting disability."

                                Comment

                                • EBORG9
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Oct 2006
                                  • 1823
                                  #9
                                  .....or
                                  2 muffins are in the oven.
                                  One muffin says to the other, "Boy it's hot in here, huh?"

                                  The other screams, "Holy Shit a talking muffin!!"

                                    Comment

                                    • mikeyddddd
                                      Viva la vulva!
                                      • Mar 2003
                                      • 16557
                                      #10

                                        Comment

                                        • spacedog
                                          Yes that IS me. Bitch.
                                          • Nov 2001
                                          • 14149
                                          #11
                                          New York City was having a major problem with pigeons.
                                          Everywhere all over New York these damn pigeons were causing an uproar.
                                          Bird shit everywhere, flying around shitting everywhere...

                                          The citizens were outraged & demanding action.

                                          The New York City officials tried everything they could, but nothing worked.. They just could not control these damn pigeons.. they couldn't get rid of them & no matter how hard they tried, they could not kill them..

                                          Outraged citizens began to protest.. The media held a press conference where the mayor announces,

                                          "The city of New York will pay to any person who can get rid of these pigeons, the sum of one million dollars, no questions asked.. just get rid of the damn pigeons".



                                          next day, a man walks into the mayors office & says,
                                          "Hey mayor, so, is it true that you're gonna pay me one million dollars to get rid of your pigeons?

                                          The mayor excitedly says, "yes, yes, just get rid of those pesky fucking birds, I don't care how you do it"..

                                          So the man replies, "alrighty then, but if you ask questions, it's gonna cost ya a million bucks per question"..

                                          The mayor nods, "ya, ya.. no questions, just get rid of them pesky pigeons"..

                                          So, this man walks out of the mayors office, hops into his car & drives to the Brooklyn bridge..




                                          Standing at the Brooklyn bridge, he opens his coat & takes out a box.

                                          He opens the box & takes out a pink pigeon & then tosses the pink pigeon into the air, whom then flys in circles over the water.

                                          All of a sudden, millions of pigeons began flying around this pink pigeon.. around & around in circles millions of pigeons, when all of a sudden the pink pigeon nose dives into the water,,,,,,,,

                                          All the other pigeons follow.. millions of pigeons nose diving into the water...

                                          the pink pigeon goes all the way to the bottom.... all the other pigeons follow.. the pink pigeon quickly turns around & swims back to the top & fly's out of the water,,, but all the other pigeons drown & die....

                                          the pink pigeon flys back to the man with the box, upon which the man places the pink pigeon back into the box....


                                          The next day, the man is walking into the mayors office where everyone is excited & happy with joy..

                                          The mayor says,

                                          "wonderful, wonderful.. finally they're gone, and just as I promised.. here's your 2 million dollars"..


                                          The man looks puzzled & replies,
                                          "But I thought the deal was one million dollars?"

                                          The mayor responds,

                                          "Oh, yes, yes.. but I have one question.."































                                          "You wouldn't happen to have a pink nigger in a box would you?"

                                            Comment

                                            • baddog
                                              So Fucking Banned
                                              • Apr 2001
                                              • 107089
                                              #12
                                              One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

                                              However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men, and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

                                              The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

                                              "No", the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids

                                                Comment

                                                • Booty Man
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Jan 2007
                                                  • 210
                                                  #13
                                                  This is by far my favorite joke. Learn it well, then teach yourself how to deliver it (it's not my own joke, but it's fantastic!):

                                                  A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church. He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees.

                                                  The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before to which the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Give it a shot, father". After a few minutes, the priest hooks a big fish and struggles to get it in the boat. The fisherman says "Whoa, what a big son-of-a-bitch!"

                                                  The Priest says, "Uh, please sir, can you mind your language?" The Fisherman responds (THINKING QUICKLY), "I'm sorry Father, but that's what this fish is called - a son-of-a-bitch!"

                                                  "Oh, I'm sorry", replied the Priest. "I didn't know." After the trip, the priest brings the fish to the church and spots the Bishop. "Eminence, look at this big son-of-a-bitch!"

                                                  "Please Father", said the Bishop. "Mind your language, this is a house of God."

                                                  "No, you don't understand", said the Priest. "That's what this fish is called, and I caught it. I caught this son-of-a-bitch!"

                                                  "Hmmm", said the Bishop. "You know, I could clean this son-of-a-bitch and we could have it for dinner." So the Bishop takes the fish and cleans it, and brings it to Mother Superior at the convent. "Mother Superior could you cook this son-of-a-bitch for dinner tonight?"

                                                  "My lord, what language!", said the Mother Superior.

                                                  "No, Sister", said the Bishop. "That's what the fish is called - a son-of-a-bitch! Father caught it, I cleaned it, and we'd like you to cook it."

                                                  "Hmmm," replied Mother Superior. "Yes, I'll cook that son-of-a-bitch tonight." Well, the Pope stops by for dinner with the three of them, and they all think the fish is great. He asks where they got it. "I caught the son-of-a-bitch!" said the Priest.

                                                  "And I cleaned the son-of-a-bitch!" said the Bishop.

                                                  "And I cooked the son-of-a-bitch!" said the Mother Superior.

                                                  The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely gaze, but then takes off his hat, puts his feet up on the table, and says, "You know, you fuckers are alright!"
                                                  Cheers...
                                                  Booty Man!
                                                  ------

                                                  reBOOTED

                                                    Comment

                                                    • baddog
                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                      • Apr 2001
                                                      • 107089
                                                      #14
                                                      ^That reminded me of my pope joke^ I need to finish this inventory before I can try to remember it well enough to type it out though

                                                        Comment

                                                        • baddog
                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                          • Apr 2001
                                                          • 107089
                                                          #15
                                                          I was at the store buying a large bag of Purina for Buddy and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........
                                                          Duh!

                                                          I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

                                                          I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

                                                          I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • notabook
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Apr 2006
                                                              • 9748
                                                              #16
                                                              Marriage is like a bottle of fine wine. It takes a lot of work getting it uncorked, but as soon as you pour yourself a glass you know it’s going to be worth it as soon as that soft, velvety liquid hits your lips. That is of course until you have downed half the bottle and realize that drinking wine makes you a faggot.

                                                                Comment

                                                                • dissipate
                                                                  The Dirty Frenchman
                                                                  • Nov 2005
                                                                  • 8904
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Fuck jokes, heres a real story!

                                                                  So I move down to Costa Rica. I have this 70ish year old neighbor named Bob. Bob retired here from the US a couple years back for the sole reason of fucking prostitutes 3 days a week (prostitution is legal in Costa Rica). So three days a week or he has his usual "girls" come over. You can usually tell a girl is coming over because he's putting around the complex wearing his white robe trying to hide his cialis erection.

                                                                  Anyways, according to Bob, he can't stand women with shaved pussies. He had to put a stop to this. So what did he do? He went down to the local wig shop and had a crotch toupee made. Yes a crotch toupee. He makes his whores wear it every time they come over to fuck. I didn't believe him and demanded to see it.... oh christ it actually exists!

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • baddog
                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                      • Apr 2001
                                                                      • 107089
                                                                      #18
                                                                      This joke is better told aloud, . . . if you don't get it, read it aloud to yourself.

                                                                      A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and orders a beer.

                                                                      The bartender tells him, "sorry Mr Bear, but we don't serve beer to bears in Billings, Montana."

                                                                      The bear says, "I don't care what you think you do or don't do, I want a beer."

                                                                      The bartender replies, "Mr Bear, I have told you once, and I will tell you again, we don't serve beer to bears in Billings, Montana."

                                                                      The bear is getting pissed. "I said I want a beer, and I want it now!!"

                                                                      "Mr. Bear, I have told you once, I have told you twice and I will tell you again, we don't serve beer to bears in Billings, Montana."

                                                                      The bear looks around, and points to a woman at the end of the bar. "If you don't get me a beer and do it now, I am going to go eat that chick."

                                                                      The bartender responds, "Mr. Bear, I have told you once, I have told you twice, I have told you three times and I will tell you again, we don't serve beer to bears in Billings, Montana."

                                                                      The bear goes to the end of the bar and chows down on the woman, and returns to the bartender, fresh blood dripping from his jowls. "Now, can I have my beer?"

                                                                      "Mr Bear, I have told you four times, we don't serve beer to bears in Billings, Montana, and we sure don't serve drug addicts."

                                                                      "Drug addicts?"

                                                                      "Yes, that was a bar bitch you ate."

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • hent
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Dec 2005
                                                                          • 192
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by dissipate
                                                                          Fuck jokes, heres a real story!

                                                                          So I move down to Costa Rica. I have this 70ish year old neighbor named Bob. Bob retired here from the US a couple years back for the sole reason of fucking prostitutes 3 days a week (prostitution is legal in Costa Rica). So three days a week or he has his usual "girls" come over. You can usually tell a girl is coming over because he's putting around the complex wearing his white robe trying to hide his cialis erection.

                                                                          Anyways, according to Bob, he can't stand women with shaved pussies. He had to put a stop to this. So what did he do? He went down to the local wig shop and had a crotch toupee made. Yes a crotch toupee. He makes his whores wear it every time they come over to fuck. I didn't believe him and demanded to see it.... oh christ it actually exists!
                                                                          That is fucked up. I couldn't believe it when you told me the other day...
                                                                          ICQ: 331 531 469

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • TeenCat
                                                                              Too lazy to set a koala
                                                                              • Jan 2007
                                                                              • 16131
                                                                              #20
                                                                              i dont want to go to the phoenix phorum

                                                                              6bot                                                                               / Coming again very soon!
                                                                              Svit Zlin Radio 24/7!

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • SCOOTER
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Oct 2001
                                                                                  • 4010
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Bump for Saturday morning


                                                                                  Hey Will that was a Small ass fan ……..But it worked
                                                                                  Scooter
                                                                                  [email protected]

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • Pete-KT
                                                                                      Workin With The Devil
                                                                                      • Oct 2004
                                                                                      • 51532
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Hmm ill have find a couple good ones

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • JFK
                                                                                          FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                                                                                          • Jan 2002
                                                                                          • 67369
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by dissipate
                                                                                          Fuck jokes, heres a real story!

                                                                                          So I move down to Costa Rica. I have this 70ish year old neighbor named Bob. Bob retired here from the US a couple years back for the sole reason of fucking prostitutes 3 days a week (prostitution is legal in Costa Rica). So three days a week or he has his usual "girls" come over. You can usually tell a girl is coming over because he's putting around the complex wearing his white robe trying to hide his cialis erection.

                                                                                          Anyways, according to Bob, he can't stand women with shaved pussies. He had to put a stop to this. So what did he do? He went down to the local wig shop and had a crotch toupee made. Yes a crotch toupee. He makes his whores wear it every time they come over to fuck. I didn't believe him and demanded to see it.... oh christ it actually exists!
                                                                                          too fucking Funny

                                                                                          FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX
                                                                                          For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Pete-KT
                                                                                              Workin With The Devil
                                                                                              • Oct 2004
                                                                                              • 51532
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze.

                                                                                              "Silver," she said.

                                                                                              "Why not gold?"

                                                                                              "Because I want you to come second for once!"

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Pete-KT
                                                                                                  Workin With The Devil
                                                                                                  • Oct 2004
                                                                                                  • 51532
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Here is another one in a comic form

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • CDSmith
                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                      • May 2001
                                                                                                      • 51460
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by notabook
                                                                                                      Marriage is like a bottle of fine wine. It takes a lot of work getting it uncorked, but as soon as you pour yourself a glass you know it?s going to be worth it as soon as that soft, velvety liquid hits your lips. That is of course until you have downed half the bottle and realize that drinking wine makes you a faggot.
                                                                                                      Best . joke . EVER.
                                                                                                      Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!

                                                                                                      ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!!
                                                                                                      Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket.                                                                                                       ICQ me at: 31024634

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • The Ghost
                                                                                                          IslandDollars.com
                                                                                                          • Oct 2004
                                                                                                          • 12188
                                                                                                          #27


                                                                                                          Looking forward to the announcement of the winner
                                                                                                          ISLAND DOLLARS
                                                                                                          1000's of Exclusive TS scenes / Constant Updates
                                                                                                          Best TS Network your surfers will ever join

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • DamageX
                                                                                                              Marketing & Strategy
                                                                                                              • Jun 2001
                                                                                                              • 14293
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              k, I'll bite.

                                                                                                              Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
                                                                                                              Whitehat is for chumps

                                                                                                              If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • DamageX
                                                                                                                  Marketing & Strategy
                                                                                                                  • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                  • 14293
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  And another:

                                                                                                                  Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing on Iraq.

                                                                                                                  He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

                                                                                                                  "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

                                                                                                                  His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

                                                                                                                  Finally, President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
                                                                                                                  Whitehat is for chumps

                                                                                                                  If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • RawAlex
                                                                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                      • Oct 2003
                                                                                                                      • 9465
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      "Lengendary Lars was forced to use Zango"

                                                                                                                      That should be a winner right out of the box. I still haven't stopped laughing months later.

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • DamageX
                                                                                                                          Marketing & Strategy
                                                                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                          • 14293
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by RawAlex
                                                                                                                          "Lengendary Lars was forced to use Zango"

                                                                                                                          That should be a winner right out of the box. I still haven't stopped laughing months later.
                                                                                                                          I bet Lars is laughing louder though.
                                                                                                                          Whitehat is for chumps

                                                                                                                          If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • nation-x
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Mar 2004
                                                                                                                              • 5370
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              GFY is the best place to meet nice people have civilized conversation!

                                                                                                                              *seriously... I don't want a pass but I am a silly sig spammer

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • MikeHawk
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                  • 6683
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  THE AMBUSH INTERVIEW

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • »Rob Content«
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2006
                                                                                                                                      • 4348
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      my new 404 page


                                                                                                                                      80% Revshare or 30$ PPS on $1 trials: 200 Niches = Vidz.com Galleries / FLVs / Embeds
                                                                                                                                      3 & 5mins FLVs | RSS & Tube Feeds | Matching Thumbs | FLV Browser & Exporter | No Prechecked Xsales
                                                                                                                                      >> Mobile Redirection Script: mobile.vidz.com also paying 80% net Lifetime << ICQ: 198-394-557


                                                                                                                                      ICQ - 436 795 438 E-mail rob /@/ cool-content dotcom

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • DamageX
                                                                                                                                          Marketing & Strategy
                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                          • 14293
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by nation-x
                                                                                                                                          GFY is the best place to meet nice people have civilized conversation!
                                                                                                                                          Whitehat is for chumps

                                                                                                                                          If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • SCOOTER
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Oct 2001
                                                                                                                                              • 4010
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Keep them coming guys..
                                                                                                                                              Scooter
                                                                                                                                              [email protected]

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • aico
                                                                                                                                                  Moo Moo Cow
                                                                                                                                                  • Mar 2004
                                                                                                                                                  • 14748
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  How many Mexicans does it take to rake leaves?



                                                                                                                                                  brb....







                                                                                                                                                  Only 1, he didn't need any help.

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • Rochard
                                                                                                                                                      Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2001
                                                                                                                                                      • 75733
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by baddog
                                                                                                                                                      One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

                                                                                                                                                      However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men, and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

                                                                                                                                                      The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

                                                                                                                                                      "No", the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids
                                                                                                                                                      This has got to be a winner right here folks!
                                                                                                                                                      Herschel Savage
                                                                                                                                                      Brooklyn, NY

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • SCOOTER
                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                          • Oct 2001
                                                                                                                                                          • 4010
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          Bump for Sunday
                                                                                                                                                          Scooter
                                                                                                                                                          [email protected]

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • TeenCat
                                                                                                                                                              Too lazy to set a koala
                                                                                                                                                              • Jan 2007
                                                                                                                                                              • 16131
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              bump for me

                                                                                                                                                              6bot                                                                                                                                                               / Coming again very soon!
                                                                                                                                                              Svit Zlin Radio 24/7!

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • DamageX
                                                                                                                                                                  Marketing & Strategy
                                                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                                                  • 14293
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Rochard
                                                                                                                                                                  This has got to be a winner right here folks!
                                                                                                                                                                  Taking bets on that joke winning, any takers?
                                                                                                                                                                  Whitehat is for chumps

                                                                                                                                                                  If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Deej
                                                                                                                                                                      I make pixels work
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jun 2005
                                                                                                                                                                      • 24386
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      A guy walks into a bar carrying a brown paper bag.

                                                                                                                                                                      He sits on a stool at the bar and ask the bartender for a drink.

                                                                                                                                                                      As the bartender brings the guy his drink, he reaches into his paper bag and pulls out a tiny piano. Sits it on the bar. Reaches back into the bag and pulls out an equally small bench seat.

                                                                                                                                                                      Amazed, the bartender looks at it and ask if it really works.

                                                                                                                                                                      Without saying a word the guy reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny little man about a foot tall. He sets the little man down and he goes right to his piano and starts playing an rousing refrain of cer' dulac.

                                                                                                                                                                      The bartender just astonished asks the guy, "Where in gods name did you get a little man and a little piano??"

                                                                                                                                                                      The guy reaches once again into his paper bag and pulls out a genies lamp.

                                                                                                                                                                      "I found this and I rubbed it and a Genie came out, he gave me one wish."

                                                                                                                                                                      The bartenders eyes widened and he says, "Ill buy all your drinks tonight if you let me make a wish!"

                                                                                                                                                                      The guy gives the bartender the lamp and the bartender immediatly starts rubbing the lamp to get the genie to come out.

                                                                                                                                                                      With a whoosh the genie emerges in a puff of blue smoke.

                                                                                                                                                                      "You have released me, I shall grant you one wish!" said the genie.

                                                                                                                                                                      Without hesitating, the bartender blurts out, " I WANT A MILLION BUCKS!"

                                                                                                                                                                      The genie claps his hands and says, " Your wish is my command!" and as quick as he whooshed in, he was gone, back into his lamp.

                                                                                                                                                                      So there they both sit. No stack of cash.

                                                                                                                                                                      But then a duck walks in..... and another....and another.....they just keep piling in.

                                                                                                                                                                      Soon the whole bar is riddled with ducks....quacking everywhere. Feathers and bills gaggling about.

                                                                                                                                                                      The bartender, getting a bit perturbed looks at the guy and says, "Man, I think your genie is deaf as shit, I dont want all these fuckin ducks in here!!"


                                                                                                                                                                      The guy looks at him equally disgruntled and says....


                                                                                                                                                                      NO SHIT!! You really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?!?!

                                                                                                                                                                      Deej's Designs n' What Not
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                                                                                                                                                                        • LAJ
                                                                                                                                                                          Gingerific
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                                                          • 5567
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          Did you hear about the gay burgler? After he blew the safe he went down on the elevator...
                                                                                                                                                                          YNOT.com - The original industry resource
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                                                                                                                                                                            • Jennyfer
                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                              • Sep 2005
                                                                                                                                                                              • 1708
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by dissipate
                                                                                                                                                                              Fuck jokes, heres a real story!

                                                                                                                                                                              So I move down to Costa Rica. I have this 70ish year old neighbor named Bob. Bob retired here from the US a couple years back for the sole reason of fucking prostitutes 3 days a week (prostitution is legal in Costa Rica). So three days a week or he has his usual "girls" come over. You can usually tell a girl is coming over because he's putting around the complex wearing his white robe trying to hide his cialis erection.

                                                                                                                                                                              Anyways, according to Bob, he can't stand women with shaved pussies. He had to put a stop to this. So what did he do? He went down to the local wig shop and had a crotch toupee made. Yes a crotch toupee. He makes his whores wear it every time they come over to fuck. I didn't believe him and demanded to see it.... oh christ it actually exists!

                                                                                                                                                                              lol, that is so fucked up
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                                                                                                                                                                                • Dwreck
                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Nov 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 7362
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  This is a great thread to bring laughter to win a contest Scooter. Nice to see!

                                                                                                                                                                                  Scooter will also act as a personal body guard to anyone that touches you!
                                                                                                                                                                                  Derek *Dwreck* Smout
                                                                                                                                                                                  Program Manager
                                                                                                                                                                                  Icq 165976549 Skype derekthomassmout

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                                                                                                                                                                                    • Sharky
                                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                      • Mar 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                      • 4938
                                                                                                                                                                                      #46
                                                                                                                                                                                      My dick is bigger than yours. In fact, my dick is so big that it has its own dick and even his dick is bigger than yours!
                                                                                                                                                                                      Sharky

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                                                                                                                                                                                        • CamJack
                                                                                                                                                                                          Old School Webmaster
                                                                                                                                                                                          • Sep 2003
                                                                                                                                                                                          • 1334
                                                                                                                                                                                          #47
                                                                                                                                                                                          Winners Here:

                                                                                                                                                                                          Man and a boy walk into the forest, its dark and there's a full moon. The little boy shivers with fear and says to the man: "Sir, I am really really scared".

                                                                                                                                                                                          The man looks down to the kid and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."


                                                                                                                                                                                          What's a nose's favorite place to eat?

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                                                                                                                                                                                            • CamJack
                                                                                                                                                                                              Old School Webmaster
                                                                                                                                                                                              • Sep 2003
                                                                                                                                                                                              • 1334
                                                                                                                                                                                              #48
                                                                                                                                                                                              I know I won!

                                                                                                                                                                                              The first jokes dark and you are supposed to go "ohhh thats terrible", then I come back with a 3rd grader joke and you are forced to laugh since the other joke was so bad.

                                                                                                                                                                                              I don't need a ticket, I'll be there. Give it to a someone who needs it.
                                                                                                                                                                                              GREAT THREAD BTW!!!!!
                                                                                                                                                                                              Skype: promote.promote
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                                                                                                                                                                                                • Juilan
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Sultan of Swing
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Feb 2004
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • 15141
                                                                                                                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                                                                                                                  A Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                  First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange."

                                                                                                                                                                                                  The second little boy says"Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks "Does a fart have lumps?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                  The teacher looks horrified and says "Johnny! Of course not!!!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                  "OK. Then I DEFINITELY shit my pants."
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                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Deej
                                                                                                                                                                                                      I make pixels work
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Jun 2005
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • 24386
                                                                                                                                                                                                      #50
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Juilan
                                                                                                                                                                                                      A Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                      First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange."

                                                                                                                                                                                                      The second little boy says"Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks "Does a fart have lumps?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                      The teacher looks horrified and says "Johnny! Of course not!!!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                      "OK. Then I DEFINITELY shit my pants."
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Thats a goodie

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Deej's Designs n' What Not
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching


                                                                                                                                                                                                      Icq#30096880

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