I Almost Hooked Up With One of the Olsen Twins Last Night (true)

**woj** · 08-26-2005, 01:53 PM

50.........

**Hollywood Horwitz** · 08-26-2005, 04:43 PM

what local dive bar was it? was it in LA?

**the boy** · 08-26-2005, 04:47 PM

Originally posted by BVF

get a number IMMEDIATELY...There was no way I would have ended that conversation without either offering my number or asking for hers.

fuck ya..thats what i do... .

**pr0** · 08-26-2005, 04:53 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

Last night me and my friends, Chris and Joel, went out to this local dive bar for a few thousand shots of Jagermeister. We were sitting at this table in the front of the place and I was already so fucked up I was stuffing various objects up into my hat in one of my patented comedy routines.

One of my buddies notices that it?s Ashley Olsen sitting at the table next to us. A few minutes later, I notice Mary Kate is sitting right behind me (like 6 inches away). This annoying standup comedian walks up to our table trying to sell his DVD or something and being really obnoxious.

He says, ?If you don?t laugh, you will get your money back.?

So I come back with, ?Let?s hear some of your best shit??

So he starts telling these jokes and I can finish the punch lines to all of them. These jokes are Lame ? that?s right Lame with a capitol ?L? ? they sounded like they came straight out of Maxim. I tore the guy to shreds and everybody was cracking up ? they loved it.

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

A while later -- they left. Oh well, to be honest, they really didn?t look that good anyway. Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes.

The last thing I was thinking today is: Ok, these girls just got out of jailbait status and everybody knows who they are and how old they are, so what kind of fake ID got those bitches in the bar?

Hollywood, you gotta? love it.

she would have had her public relations rep run a reputation check on you before she even went out on a date

its their job to catch shit like that, i know a couple people who do it for a living

so you woulda been greased in 2 secs!

hahaha, but still awsome...in fact i think i got a "i fucked the olsen twins" shirt from t-shirt hell

**tony286** · 08-26-2005, 05:02 PM

that would of been a experience

**porn-dog** · 08-26-2005, 05:08 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

Jay, you are one of the last true Jedi Pimp's

**Spunky** · 08-26-2005, 05:09 PM

Sweet..too bad you didn't get to do a tag team on them whores

**Ordo** · 08-26-2005, 05:13 PM

Aaah, the tales of a Padawan trainee...

**animal mother** · 08-26-2005, 05:36 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

Last night me and my friends, Chris and Joel, went out to this local dive bar for a few thousand shots of Jagermeister. We were sitting at this table in the front of the place and I was already so fucked up I was stuffing various objects up into my hat in one of my patented comedy routines.

One of my buddies notices that it?s Ashley Olsen sitting at the table next to us. A few minutes later, I notice Mary Kate is sitting right behind me (like 6 inches away). This annoying standup comedian walks up to our table trying to sell his DVD or something and being really obnoxious.

He says, ?If you don?t laugh, you will get your money back.?

So I come back with, ?Let?s hear some of your best shit??

So he starts telling these jokes and I can finish the punch lines to all of them. These jokes are Lame ? that?s right Lame with a capitol ?L? ? they sounded like they came straight out of Maxim. I tore the guy to shreds and everybody was cracking up ? they loved it.

So, then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it?s Mary Kate. She?s like, ?That was so funny ? that guy was really getting on my nerves.? The conversation continues for around 15 minutes on and off and there is some pretty solid flirtation going on. A while later, I am at the back of the bar and I get introduced to her sister and we chat some more ? it was pretty cool ? again, solid flirtation.

A while later -- they left. Oh well, to be honest, they really didn?t look that good anyway. Mary Kate was still way to skinny and Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat ? kind of a square fat and they both were wearing these stupid looking hippie clothes.

The last thing I was thinking today is: Ok, these girls just got out of jailbait status and everybody knows who they are and how old they are, so what kind of fake ID got those bitches in the bar?

Hollywood, you gotta? love it.

where do you get "almost hooked up" out of that?

**DavieVegas** · 08-26-2005, 06:41 PM

Not to be an ass jay but the almost hooking up part was where again?????

Talking is almost hooking up? I guess we have our own opinions and exaggerations about what hooking up means!

**V_RocKs** · 08-26-2005, 06:50 PM

If we could get her back in there next weekend and invite Hillary.... wow... You'd bang one of the 3 that night for sure.

**xxxjay** · 08-26-2005, 07:33 PM

Originally posted by animal mother

where do you get "almost hooked up" out of that?

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

???

I didn't think so.

Stop the hate.

**Nicky** · 08-26-2005, 07:40 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

???

I didn't think so.

Stop the hate.

Fuck the haters Jay, you should have fucked 1 of them and video taped it

**AdultInsider Cloner** · 08-26-2005, 07:42 PM

I would hit them...one at a time or together

**3M TA3** · 08-26-2005, 07:54 PM

i don't care about fucking them, just tell me where to hold the camera.

**Ramos** · 08-26-2005, 08:02 PM

^5 Jay... should of acted like u didn't know who they are and proposed "doing some modeling".. lol.

**Juilan** · 08-26-2005, 08:16 PM

Awesome man

here's a pic for your blog entry

**Satisfaction** · 08-26-2005, 08:18 PM

mad story there jay

**sniperwolf** · 08-26-2005, 08:36 PM

hmmm they say how a thread is useless without ... yeah you know ...
okay you can have your moment....rock on dude!

**Kard63** · 08-26-2005, 08:44 PM

I wish that would happen to me. No too many famous people here in Indiana. One time I saw David Leterman's mom.. or a woman that looked like her....

**Semi-Retired-Dave** · 08-27-2005, 04:14 AM

So you let them walk. Who cares if one was too skinny and the other one was fat. They are the Olsen Twins Jay. oh well, their loss. (Good way to look at it)

Sounds like you had a good time anyways. But next time, seal the deal.

**xclusive** · 08-27-2005, 04:25 AM

Just think they probably masturbated each other to sleep thinking of you...

**Mr Bond** · 08-28-2005, 10:27 AM

Ya Blew it man.... this could have been you....

Mr. Bond

.

**BVF** · 08-28-2005, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by xxxjay

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

Hell, they can pat a puppy on the head and say "Oh look at the cute little doggie" but that doesn't mean that the puppy is any closer to getting laid.

**myjah** · 08-28-2005, 12:14 PM

That's cool that she came over to you and introduced herself. I bet that doesn't happen very often.

**kaktuz** · 08-28-2005, 12:19 PM

i think they r sexy no metter what u say!

**cool1g** · 08-28-2005, 01:37 PM

i wouldn't quite call the Dime a 'dive bar'...more like a trendy LA Dive Bar...just the other day Lindsay and Mischa were there...

**pornguy** · 08-28-2005, 02:07 PM

The twins are looking for more than just sex. They want love. And I am prepared to give it to both of them.

**cayne** · 08-28-2005, 02:12 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

Ashley was kind of fat, but not a good fat hahaha8211; kind of a square fat

Hehe, I hear ya!

Nice story - and yeah Hollywood rocks.

**escorpio** · 08-28-2005, 02:43 PM

I almost fucked a girl once.

**Young** · 08-28-2005, 02:53 PM

I've fucked Trechelle and Tina from the Real World. That is my claim to reality fame.

**tristan_D** · 08-28-2005, 11:19 PM

I Almost Hooked Up With One of the Olsen Twins Last Night (true)---

who hasn't?

**KRL** · 08-28-2005, 11:21 PM

"almost" don't count bro.

**Chong** · 08-28-2005, 11:22 PM

Originally posted by Young

I've fucked Trechelle and Tina from the Real World. That is my claim to reality fame.

tina seems like she would be a good fuck...

**xxxjay** · 08-29-2005, 02:15 PM

Originally posted by BVF

Hell, they can pat a puppy on the head and say "Oh look at the cute little doggie" but that doesn't mean that the puppy is any closer to getting laid.

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

???

???

???

???

???

I didn't think so.

**RookieApril** · 08-29-2005, 02:28 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

The Dime on Fairfax.

wow, really? the dime?

**Odie** · 08-29-2005, 02:52 PM

great story Jay

**BVF** · 08-29-2005, 03:05 PM

Originally posted by xxxjay

OK, maybe "almost hooked up is an exageration, but when was the last time you sat in a room with the Olsen Twins while they sat around and talked about "how cute you were"?

???

???

???

???

???

I didn't think so.

LOL...Well I most certainly am handsome....if it was me that was there, I'd between some rich white creamy thighs.

I Almost Hooked Up With One of the Olsen Twins Last Night (true)

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