When you're 15 drugs are *extra* bad, m'kay?

Well, her father started to fear that she was plotting to kill him and his wife. Or she definitely would have run away to the streets. So last resort they sent her away to this school, its costing them 50 grand. I hope it works, who knows.

Do you have anything helpful or inspirational to share? Or is your objective to upset me further?

I'm getting Addams Family Values flashbacks!!

i agree. the boarding school, the car he is expecting when he turns 16...............sounds spoiled.

drug usage cuts across all social classes tho so can't just blame this kid's drug use on his being spoiled. Easy psychobabble answer is that the kid feels unwanted and is acting out to get attention or he's not very happy and he's escaping with drugs but
that might not be true............most kids i know did drugs for one reason, to be cool and fit in with the kids they wanted to fit in with. Hard to fight that when you're a parent or sibling.

but if he's going to spend the next 3 years in boarding school no way he's going to stop. He should be at home, just to keep an eye on him.

Let him see some porn websites and tell him being addicted to porn is better than being addicted to drugs, plus he can get off 4 times a day.

poor people can be spoiled too. it's a matter of over protectiveness and not letting them go out on their own when they are ready to do so. People have to make their OWN decisions.

oh... didn't know that part... in all cases then its normal, but from the looks of that place, it looks really relaxed... or is it some hardcore bootcamp like you see on maury when they send 12 year old hoochie girls there?

What are you talking about?

I know what you mean, my sister lives her bf, and he's got two kids, and one of them had a birthday party last week, and each kid, and they were like 5 kids, had like 2 gifts each... and one of them had a birthday this past weekend, guess what? more gifts, and xmas is coming soon... u can figure out the rest...
and when they do't get their way.... they pull such a fit..

I agree.

Talking will not do shit. Do you guys remember what you did and thought when you were 15? Fuck, I was miserable as hell, hated everyone, hated life, never listened to anyone... finally hit rock bottom, woke up, found the biggest high, and haven't fell off yet.

Kids are raised by the time they're 13. Anything after that is their show, they're not going to listen to anyone but themselves. So you basically have 13 years to instill good values and morals. Then you'll have to wait 5, 10, maybe even 15 years before they'll start listening again.

About this boarding school, is it something he wants or something your parents want?

If he wants to go to this school and it's very important, use it against him. If he has ANY other incidents, no matter how small or stupid, take him out. Even if he's busted with some other kids, fuck him. That was his chance. The kid is risking his life, there are no second chances. When you're dead, you're dead.

Now, if the parents want him in the school and he would rather be elsewhere, use it.

Use every tool you have to bribe and manipulate him. In most situations, I don't like bribery or manipulation. But kids are different. Life is different.

"Drugs are bad" won't work. He already knows they're bad. He doesn't care.

Well from what I've heard its really strict. Not quite a bootcamp though.

For the first few weeks/months (im not exactly sure) she has what they call a "shadow." This is a person/counselor who is next to her 24/7. She doesn't even get to take a crap alone. It must suck. I can't wait to tease her about it when I see her again

but still.. 50K for a year? how long has she been there? and is she doing better?

Absolutely. I know so many "poor" and even "average" kids that couldn't work if they're life depended on it. I have a bunch of friends in this exact situation unfortunately...

Actually, the car thing might be cool. If your mom makes him pay enough for a part of it that puts him into a financial commitment to keep the car he will have to spend a lot of his free time working to keep that piece of freedom. A car means the whole world to a 16 year old! Hell, a nice car means the whole world to some 30 year olds, but that's another story.

The point is to put him in a hole that takes up enough of his free time and keeps him busy so he doesn't have a huge amount of time to sit and smoke out and stuff.

The last thing he needs right now is to not have any transportation and still have just enough money to buy a nickle sack and a Friday night roll. That scenario will fuck up even the most responsible 15/16 year olds.

What does this have to do with what you are going to tell him tonight you ask? Nothing. I'm just reminding you of the situation. I say reminding you because you already know this but you are beating yourself up thinking there is something YOU can say that will change his path. Unfortunately there's nothing YOU can say. The best thing you can do is be open with him and not preach so you can stay up to date on what he might be doing wrong.

If you play the BIG BIG sister role you will increasingly be shut out on what's REALLY happening in his life as he gets older. These next few years are critical. The only way for you to help guide him is if you seem like you are just ALONG for the ride he calls life... as opposed to being the one who is trying to give him directions.

Don't fuck up and try to hand him a roadmap tonight.

I don't mean to upset you, but reality is the ONLY person who can decided if your baby brother will stop doing drugs is your brother.

You can't make that decision for him. He has to make it for himself. You can disagree with it for yourself and YOUR life, and let him know that, but I truly believe any attempt on your part to prevent him from doing it will just make a 15 year old do more drugs.

My advise, talk only about drug use as it pertains to YOU, not him. Make NO attempt to stop or place judgement on him for his drug use. Let him know he's blood and you care about him, but it's his life and HIS decisions. Any prevention from you or your family removes the CHOICE to do drugs from him.


My dad was AA, and I did drink heavy in my later teens and through university. But I never did drugs. My dad NEVER told me not to do drugs either. He pointed out some people in town to me that blew their minds on LSD, he told me about when he was in BC in the 50's and his roommates were doing drugs and he just flushed the ones they gave him down the toilet. He pointed out people who went to jail for trafficing, but he never really told me not to do drugs. He taught by example, not by authority there.


different with booze, he told me again and again not to drink. I saw all the fun times people who drank had. I saw people in their 80's who drank every day and still were happy, successful and fun to be around. the example there led me to drink cause I even looked at him and he turned out fine. it felt hypicrititcal for him to tell me not to drink.

a 15 year old will unconciously try everything to react against authority. Drug use needs to be HIS choice, no one elses, and HE needs to know and FEEL that way about it. Aim for that approach.


I hope that helps, it is the HARDEST thing to do in that situation though.